The Wizard of Space and Time
by Rusen
Summary: Friends since childhood, The Doctor and The Wizard, unstoppable duo travelling in space and time, long lost of Gallifrey and their home. This is the story of the friendship that rang through the universe. Request an episode from Doctor Who or Torchwood and it shall be done!
1. DW 1-1 Rose

The Wizard sighed and turned a dial on the TARDIS' screen, waiting for the inevitable.

'What about this?'

She glanced up for a second before returning to her calculations. 'Not sure about it… definitely like the clown's nose, though.'

'Very funny, ha-ha,' The Doctor replied sarcastically, 'what do you think, then?'

'Just let the TARDIS decide for you, she knows what you're like.'

'All right then, I will.'

'Good. And seriously get rid of that nose.'

'I can always rely on you, Wizard.'

'Someone has to keep you in line, Doctor.'

As The Doctor's footsteps faded The Wizard turned her full attention back to the TARDIS, clicking her tongue when she noticed the scuff marks The Doctor had made with his latest contraption.

'Poor girl. I'll fix that up in a second.'

The TARDIS' speakers beeped in response.

'What about this?' The Doctor had returned.

'Now that's not bad. Like the leather jacket, shows off your ears.'

'What do you mean, my ears?' The Doctor's face drooped.

'Haven't you looked in a mirror yet? You've had that face for how long?!'

'I've been busy!'

'Well we've got no time for that now, the TARDIS has found something she wants us to take a look at.'

John F Kennedy, the Titanic, a few natural disasters and a trip to the north pole later the two landed in London, early 21st century.

'Why has she brought us here?' The Doctor looked around in disbelief as he stepped out.

'I don't know, do I?' The Wizard stepped out of the TARDIS, sidestepping The grumbling Doctor and buttoning up a long TARDIS-blue coat, 'Come on, get a move on.' She pulled a beeping device from her pocket.

'Where are we going?'

'I'm tracing a signal. Nestene consciousness. Come on. Not sure about this coat…' she flicked the sleeve.

As they turned a corner The Doctor sighed. 'You're taking us into a shopping centre, aren't you?'

'I'm not, this thing is.'

The Doctor mumbled something as The Wizard showed no interest in listening as they went inside.

'Lift or stairs?'

'Lift, please.'

'Of course you'd take the lift,' The Wizard sighed, pulling out her sonic screwdriver and pointing it at the lift.

'Rooftop, set the explosives?'

'No, hang on. Someone's still down there.'

'Down it is,' The Doctor grinned and pressed the lowest button, grinning wider when it beeped as he did.

The lift doors opened and immediately The Wizard veered off to the left. 'Someone's there… oh. He's dead.'

'Wait, shh-shh-shh,' The Doctor held up a finger, 'there's someone else here.'

'Derek is this you?' the woman's voice was faint but without a word the two Timelords crept silently around the corner until the woman came in sight. She was blond, sort of short and was wearing jeans and a pink jumper. The two moved faster when she backed against a wall, pushed by clothes mannequins moving toward her. The Doctor and The Wizard moved closer as the mannequins did. As the girl shut her eyes, The Doctor grabbed her hand. The woman's eyes flew open and shot to the side, blinking at the two in utter surprise.

'Run!'

They pulled the woman around the corner and through double doors, The Wizard running ahead and leading them down the corridor back to the lift, auburn hair flying behind her. She aimed her sonic at the doors and they opened as they approached. She ushered the woman and The Doctor inside before pointing the sonic at the lift buttons.

'Hurry up; we've got an arm in here.'

'Oh, just pull it off,' The Wizard grumbled in response.

The doors closed, the arm of the mannequin separated from the body.

'You pulled his arm off!' the woman gasped from her position at the back of the lift.

'Yep,' The Doctor tossed the arm to her and folded his arms, 'plastic.'

'Very clever, nice trick! Who were they then, students? Is this a student thing or what?'

The Wizard swung round for a moment to glance at the woman from her device as The Doctor turned around.

'Why would they be students?'

'I don't know...'

'Well, you said it! Why students?'

''Cause...' the woman shrugged, 'to get that many people dressed up and being silly... they gotta be students.'

The Wizard chuckled as The Doctor grinned.

'That makes sense! Well done.'

'Thanks.'

The Doctor stopped smiling and turned around again. 'They're not students.'

'Whoever they are, when Wilson finds them, he's gonna call the police.'

The Wizard clicked her tongue.

'Who's Wilson?'

'Chief electrician.' The lift doors opened.

'Wilson's dead.' The Doctor stepped out of the lift.

'Down in the basement,' The Wizard added and walked after him, followed by the startled blonde.

'That's just not funny, that's sick!'

'Hold on!' The Doctor pushed the woman out of the way, 'Mind your eyes.' The sonic whirred and the lift panel sparked as The Wizard whacked her device on her hand.

'I've had enough of this now!'

The two Timelords began to walk away, though the woman followed them.

'Who are you, then? Who's that lot down there?'

No response came from either Timelord.

'I said, who are they?'

'They're made of plastic,' The Doctor explained, 'Living plastic creatures. They're being controlled by a relay device in the roof. Which would be a great big problem if we didn't have this.' He pointed at The Wizard, who without a word held up the thing she was still fiddling with. 'So!' The Doctor opened the fire exit, 'We're going to go up there and blow them up, and we might well die in the process. But don't worry about us, no.' He pushed the woman out of the doors. 'Go home, go on! Go and have your lovely beans on toast.'

'Doctor, come on,' The Wizard warned.

'Coming. Also, don't tell anyone about this, because if you do, you'll get them killed.' He shut the door on the confused face of the blonde. 'Oh, hang on.'

The Wizard sighed and rolled her eyes fondly.

The Doctor opened the door again. 'I'm The Doctor, by the way, and this is The Wizard, what's your name?'

'Rose.'

'Nice to meet you, Rose. Run for your life!' The Doctor shut the door again and The Wizard started running.

'Why does something tell me we're going to meet her again?' The Wizard asked.

The Doctor chuckled. 'Got that thing ready?'

'Tell you what, let's find out.' The Wizard pressed the blue button and the building shook. 'Yes.'

'Good, good. Let's try and trace the signal.'

'Never gonna work, but there's nothing else to do.' She shrugged.

The Doctor burst out of the doors as The Wizard fiddled with the same blue coat.

'Ah, look at that sky!'

The Wizard glanced at the blue as she pulled the doors shut. 'I managed to get a signal from that arm you pulled off, though why it travelled here I have no clue. I can't see a transmitter, can you?'

The place in question was Powell Estate in London, apartment buildings surrounding them.

'Nope. Will we be able to trace it?'

'That way, that building.'

'Oh.'

They set off side by side through the garden. Or rather, over the grass. 'You know, maybe you should have brought a drop of the anti-plastic.'

'Nah, it's fine. That'd be cheating, that would.'

'It's not cheating if it keeps you alive, Doctor.' They reached the apartment block's entrance.

'Tell you what, though, those stairs might just be my downfall.'

The Wizard chuckled and examined her sonic. 'Fourth floor, at least. Come on, the sooner you start.'

'Yeah, yeah. One, two, three…'

'I get the point, Doctor, thank you.'

'Just helping,' he sent her a grin, before frowning at The Wizard's face. 'What?'

'You really haven't looked in the mirror yet, have you?'

'Why?'

'Those ears just sell that grin.'

The Doctor's frown deepened and he tripped up a stair, though The Wizard ignored it with a chagrin expression.

'This way.'

'That one?'

'No, next one.'

'I'll check the flap.'

'Don't just stick your hand in, you'll scare-,' they heard a gasp, 'oh nevermind.'

The door was wrenched open and Rose was standing on the other side in a grey shirt.

The Doctor blinked in surprise. 'What're you doing here?'

'I live here.'

'Well, what do you do that for?'

The Wizard sighed.

'Because I do! And I'm only at home because someone blew up my job.'

Both Timelords got out their sonic screwdrivers, one with a blue end the other with a black end. Both pointed theirs at Rose.

'Must've got the wrong signal. You're not plastic, are you?' The Doctor leant forward and tapped his knuckles on the peeved Rose's forehead. 'No; bonehead. Bye, then!' He turned away simply, only was pulled back by Rose with a grip on his jacket.

'You, inside. Right now.'

The Wizard stepped in without a word and shut the door.

'Who is it?'

Rose poked her head into the room on the right. 'It's about last night, they're part of the inquiry. Give us 10 minutes.'

The Wizard followed Rose while The Doctor stopped to talk to the woman in the next room.

'That's my mum. You watch her with him, she can be a little… oh what's the word?'

'Yeah, I got it,' The Wizard chuckled.

'Sit down if you want.'

'No thanks, though I might mess with your TV if you'll let me.'

Rose paused for a second, clearly not expecting that answer, before shrugging.

'The antenna was bothering me; you'll never get a good signal on it.'

The Doctor walked in before Rose could thank The Wizard.

'Don't mind the mess. Do you want a coffee?' Rose walked into the kitchen.

'Might as well, thanks! Just milk.'

The Wizard chuckled.

Rose called from the kitchen amongst the sound of jars and cupboards. 'We should go to the police. Seriously. All of us.'

In the living room, neither Timelord was listening very hard. The Doctor picked up a magazine and frowned at the cover. 'That won't last, he's gay and she's an alien.'

'Oh really? Pass it here.'

The Doctor tossed the magazine to The Wizard.

'Oh, wow. That's not going to last three more days, judging by her hairline.'

'I'm not blaming you,' Rose continued, 'even if it was just some sort of joke that went wrong.'

The Doctor picked up a book and flicked through the pages in a few seconds. 'Sad ending.' He offered it to The Wizard, who shook her head and continued fiddling with the TV.

'They said on the news they'd found a body.'

The Doctor picked up an envelope and read it aloud. 'Rose Tyler.'

The Wizard noticed the mirror on the wall and walked over to The Doctor, turning him to face it.

'Ah! Ahh, could've been worse!' The Doctor flicked his ear lobes. 'Look at me' ears.'

Neither of them heard what Rose had said next.

'Luck be a lady!' The Doctor picked up a deck of cards and tried to do a trick with them, only to send them flying into the wall, and some through the small wall hole into the kitchen. The Wizard picked up a random card and flicked it through her fingers, making it disappear. The Doctor responded with a peeved look.

'Well anyway if we are going to go to the police, I want to know what I'm saying. I want you to explain everything.'

Both Timelords looked into the kitchen. 'Maybe not.'

The Doctor whizzed his head round at the sound of a scuttling noise. The Wizard frowned, her eyebrows arching together neatly.

'What's that then?' The Doctor was cheerful. 'You got a cat?'

'No...' drifted Rose's reply.

The Wizard's frown deepened and she, out of habit, got ready to pull The Doctor from danger. He leant over the back of the armchair. A plastic arm shot out over the top and latched around The Doctor's throat.

Rose walked back into the living room with two cups as The Wizard calmly put her hand in an inside pocket for her sonic screwdriver.

'We did have, but there's these strays, they come in off the estate...' Rose noticed The Doctor with the hand. 'I told Mickey to chuck that out...' When she put the coffee down and The Doctor continued to have his hands round the plastic arm she sighed. 'Honestly, give a man a plastic hand... anyway, I don't even know your name, Doctor... what was it?'

The Doctor, just as The Wizard pressed her sonic, threw the hand off. Because it moved The Wizard missed by a fraction and the glass on the coffee table shattered, sending the full mugs to the carpet. Rose gasped, but couldn't react further as the arm landed with spread fingers on her face and she backed against the wall.

Immediately The Doctor jumped on it and The Wizard rubbed her nose. The Doctor and Rose continued to struggle before The Wizard pulled him back by the jacket and aimed her sonic again as Rose fell onto the couch. The plastic fingers popped back into shape and sprang off Rose, who was sitting like a startled cat on the couch.

'It's alright, I stopped it. There you go, you see?' The Doctor threw it at her again. 'Armless.'

'Do you think?' Rose whacked him on the shoulder with the hand.

'Ow!'

'Technically _I_ stopped it,' The Wizard pointed out, ' _you_ are responsible for the coffee table.'

'Come on, then. That's that. Time to go.' Completely unfazed and hunky-dory, The Doctor stood up and walked to the door, The Wizard next to him. Rose sat stuttering for a second before springing after them, shouting at them as they ran down the stairs.

'Hold on a minute, you can't just go swanning off.'

'Yes we can. Here we are, this is us, swanning off. See ya!' The Doctor still was yet to lose his nutty charm.

'That arm was moving, it tried to kill me!'

'Ten out of ten for observation.'

The Wizard laughed, a sound Rose took a moment to admire for the almost song underneath before stuttering again. 'You can't just walk away, that's not fair! You've got to tell me what's going on.'

'No we don't.'

'Sorry, Rose,' The Wizard added cheerfully.

The Doctor and The Wizard jumped down the last three steps and waltzed happily through the doors, The Doctor still carrying the plastic arm.

'A-alright then. I'll go to the police. I'll tell everyone. You said, if I did that, I'd get people killed. So, your choice. Tell me, or I'll start talking.' Rose was sidestepping for a minute as they walked back on the path through the lawn.

'Is that supposed to sound tough?' The Doctor scoffed.

'Sort of,' Rose said sheepishly.

'Doesn't work.'

'Who are you?'

'I told you! The Doctor.'

'Yeah. But Doctor what?' Rose was becoming more confused.

'Just The Doctor.'

'The Doctor.'

'Hello!'

'Is that supposed to sound impressive?'

'Sort of.'

The Wizard chuckled.

'And you're just "The Wizard," I presume,' Rose said, pointing at the tall Timelord. 'Come on. You can tell me. I've seen enough. Are you the police?'

'No. We were just passing through. We're a long way from home.' The Doctor and The Wizard still remained cheery.

'But what have I done wrong? How come those plastic things keep coming after me?'

'Oh!' The Doctor exclaimed, 'Suddenly the entire world revolves around you! You were just an accident, you got in the way, that's all.'

'Honestly, humans are becoming too predictable for words.' The Wizard added.

'It tried to kill me!' Rose shouted.

'It was after us, not you! Last night, in the shop, we were there, you blundered it. Almost ruined the whole thing. This morning, we were tracking it down, it was tracking us down... the only reason it fixed on you is that you met us.'

Rose frowned as she hurried to keep up the others' long strides. 'So, what you're saying is, the entire world revolves around you.'

The Doctor grinned wider. 'Sort of, yeah.'

'You're full of it!'

'Sort of, yeah.'

'But, all this plastic stuff, who else knows about it?'

'No one.'

'Not _strictly_ true, Doctor,' The Wizard pointed out.

'What, you're on your own?'

'Well, who else is there?' sighed The Doctor, clearly enjoying teasing Rose.

'I mean, you lot, all you do is eat chips, go to bed, and watch telly! When all the time, underneath you, there's a war going on!'

'Okay, start from the beginning.' They reached the carpark and Rose took the arm from The Doctor. 'If you're gonna go with this living plastic, and I don't even believe that, but if we do... how did you kill it?'

'The thing controlling it projects life into the arm. I cut off the signal, dead.'

'So that's radio control?'

'Thought control.' The Wizard and The Doctor blinked a few times when Rose was silent. 'Are you alright?'

Rose shook her head, trying to get it working. 'Yeah. So, who's controlling it, then?'

'Long story.'

'Very long,' The Wizard added when Rose showed signs of pressing further.

'But what's it all for? I mean, shop window dummies... what's that about?' They made it onto a street footpath. 'Is someone trying to take over Britain's shops?'

All three laughed.

'No.'

'I know.'

'It's not a price war.' Both Timelords chuckled with Rose before The Doctor suddenly became serious. 'They want to overthrow the human race and destroy you. Do you believe me?'

'No.'

'But you're still listening.'

Rose stopped, glancing between the two, who kept walking. 'Really though, you two. Tell me. Who are you?'

Both stopped and turned back to look at her.

'Do you know like we were saying? About the Earth revolving?' The Doctor walked back to where Rose was frowning. 'It's like when you were a kid. The first time they tell you the world's turning and you just can't quite believe it because everything looks like it's standing still. We can feel it.' The Doctor took Rose's hand. 'The turn of the Earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour, and the entire planet is hurtling around the sun at sixty-seven thousand miles an hour, and we can feel it. We're falling through space, you and us. Clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go...' The Doctor dropped Rose's hand, 'That's who I am. The Wizard isn't too different from that. Now, forget me, Rose Tyler.' The Doctor snatched the plastic arm back and waved it in Rose's face. 'Go home.'

'Nice meeting you, again,' The Wizard called. Rose sent her a smile, though she didn't want her to leave.

'If we meet her again, promise me you won't tease her as much,' The Wizard laughed.

'No promises,' The Doctor was laughing as well as they reached the blue box.

The Wizard threw the doors open. 'Oh, hey old girl!'

'I've found another Auton!' The Wizard called.

The Doctor appeared from the stairs.

'It seems Rose was investigating us, she's somehow landed herself an entire plastic replica of her boyfriend.'

'I remember when that happened to me once,' The Doctor reminisced.

'Not the time,' The Wizard smiled, 'Rose is in trouble.'

'Again. Where is she?'

'A restaurant. A pizza place. If you want that plastic, you're going to have to get it without a sonic.'

'Nice challenge, just what the doctor ordered. Fantastic!'

'I've already landed,' The Wizard headed for the doors, 'and we'll need this.'

'What's that?'

'Champagne, bottled a few hours ago. But it'll do if all we need is to fire a cork.'

'Good thinking, like the plan.' The Doctor hopped out of the TARDIS as The Wizard swung the door shut.

'After you,' The Wizard gestured.

The Doctor bounced on the balls of his feet excitedly as they entered the restaurant. 'Ooh, trouble already.'

'Oh yep, plastic's glitching already.'

The Doctor walked up beside them. 'Your champagne.'

A hostile, 'We didn't order any champagne,' came back for them. The plastic grabbed Rose's hands. 'Where's The Wizard, where's The Doctor?'

The Doctor moved to the other side of the table, shaking the bottle slightly and held it to Rose. 'Ma'am. Your champagne.'

'It's not ours... Mickey, what is it? What's wrong?'

'I need to find out how much you know, so where is he?!'

The Wizard could tell The Doctor was enjoying himself. 'Doesn't anybody want this champagne?'

The plastic Mickey looked angrily at The Doctor, though any remark was lost when he did. 'Look, we didn't order i...'

The Wizard clicked her fingers. 'Ah. Gotcha.'

The Doctor started to shake the bottle properly. 'Don't mind me. I'm just toasting the happy couple. On the house!'

The cork popped out, aided by The Wizard's sonic and shot through the plastic Mickey's forehead, which absorbed it. The cork came out of his mouth and Rose gasped, jerking toward The Wizard who put a hand on her shoulder.

'Anyway,' the plastic Mickey said. Both of his hands turned into flat clubs and he brought them down onto the before beautiful and pristinely set table. Cutlery and shards of dinner plates scattered through the air and over the ground as people jumped in fright nearby.

While The Wizard pulled Rose out of the way in a protective hold The Doctor ran forward and after a few sharp tugs pulled the head of the plastic body off, though the head continued to talk.

'Don't think that's gonna stop me.'

The headless plastic body knocked over a table and The Wizard released Rose in favour of going to stop the flailing limbs. A man screamed as his table fell over and The Wizard looked around as The Doctor laughed.

'Rose!'

Rose glanced at The Wizard and knew she was being asked to help. She looked behind her and saw a fire alarm. Without a second thought Rose broke the glass with her elbow. 'Everyone out! Out now!' The alarm rang through the building as the body smashed more tables. 'Get out! Get out! Get out!'

The Wizard took Rose's hand and pulled her out of the back doors, The Doctor following with the Auton head.

'I've got it,' The Wizard said as The Doctor went to lock the door with his one spare hand.

Rose stayed with The Wizard as she locked the door but ran around as soon as it was. The only way out Rose could see was blocked out by sheets of metal over the gate. She hit it urgently.

'Open the gate! Use that tube thing, come on!'

'What, that?' The Doctor pointed at The Wizard's sonic, 'That is a sonic screwdriver.'

'Use it!' Rose shouted, while The Wizard and The Doctor walked calmly to the TARDIS.

'Nah. Tell ya what, let's go in here.'

The Wizard unlocked the doors and they slipped inside, ignoring Rose's shouts.

'We can't hide inside a wooden box! It's gonna get us! Wizard! Doctor!'

A second later the doors swung open and Rose stopped dead in her tracks, looking around.

Pleased to see this reaction again, The Doctor and The Wizard paused in their work at the console to watch as Rose ran out of the TARDIS again, no doubt inspecting the other side.

Then she ran back inside. 'It's gonna follow us!'

'The assembled hoards of Genghis Khan couldn't get through that door, and believe me, they've tried,' The Doctor called as he walked back to the Auton head.

'Now that _was_ funny to watch,' The Wizard chuckled as she stuck a cord into the plastic neck.

'Now, shut up a minute.'

'Won't be long.'

Rose was shaking a little as her head traced the arches of the TARDIS' ceiling.

'Pass me a radio cable, Doctor,' The Wizard said, flicking a row of switches.

The Doctor pulled a purple chord from the nearby pile of wires before glancing at the still overwhelmed Rose. 'You see, the arm is too simple, but the head's perfect. We can use it to trace the signal back to the original source. Right.'

The Wizard continued working on the head, though she glanced at Rose when The Doctor turned his attention on her.

'Where do you want to start?'

'Um... the inside's bigger than the outside?'

'Yes.'

'It's alien.'

'Yup.'

'Are you alien?'

'Yes.'

The Wizard noticed Rose's stare.

'Is that alright?'

Quickly Rose recovered. 'Yeah.'

'It's called the TARDIS, this thing. T-A-R-D-I-S, that's Time And Relative Dimension In Space.'

Rose sniffled, then shook in a small sob.

The Doctor's voice became kinder. 'That's okay. Culture shock. Happens to the best of us.'

'Did they kill him? Mickey? Did they kill Mickey? Is he dead?'

'Oh... didn't think of that.'

The Wizard rolled her eyes and also turned her attention to Rose.

'He's my boyfriend. You pulled off his head. They copied him and you didn't even think?'

The Wizard opened her mouth to tell Rose that Mickey was probably still alive but Rose continued.

'And now you're just going to let him melt?!'

'Melt?'

Both Timelords turned and their eyes immediately widened, brains whirring. The Doctor ran around the circular console screaming.

'Oh, no, no, no, no, no, NO!'

The head was sinking and losing shape over the console as The Wizard and The Doctor flitted around the levers, buttons, switches and cables.

'What're you doing?!' Rose shouted.

'Reviving the signal, it's fading! Wait I've got it...'

'Not there, Doctor,' The Wizard was calm, but her voice told how much she was concentrating. Her eyes didn't move from the screen as her fingers moved like Beethoven's on a piano over the console.

'No, No, No, No, No, No, NO!'

'Shush, that's distracting!' The Wizard ordered, torso flat against the buttons to reach a leaver The Doctor had forgotten to pull.

The Doctor pulled the final lever and the TARDIS shook as she took off, the whirring of the engines making Rose look around.

'Almost there! Almost there! Here we go!'

'Lost it, but we're close enough,' The Wizard tapped a nearby circuit.

The Doctor bolted out of the doors, nearly missing the handles.

'You can't go ou-,'

'Rose, it's alright.' The Wizard ushered Rose outside onto the path by the River Thames and the London Eye.

'I lost the signal, I got so close.' The Doctor was close to sulking.

Peering cautiously over The Wizard's shoulder Rose gasped before deeming it safe to move out from behind the Timelord in blue. 'We've moved! Does it fly?'

'Disappears there, reappears here, you wouldn't understand.' The Doctor became closer to sulking.

'But if we're somewhere else, what about that headless thing? It's still on the loose.'

'It melted with the head, are you going to witter on all night?'

Rose looks over the Thames. 'I'll have to tell his mother...' She became outraged when The Doctor gave her a questioning look. 'Mickey! I'll have to tell his mother he's dead, and you just went and forgot him, again!'

While The Doctor rolled his eyes The Wizard sighed. Rose became outraged at The Doctor's unconcern.

'You were right, you ARE alien.' She turned to walk away.

'I was going to tell you before the head started melting,' The Wizard said, 'Mickey is most likely still alive, kept at the transmitter.'

Rose nodded, before rounding on The Doctor again, cross he hadn't thought of mentioning it, though she didn't have to say what was on her mind.

'Look, if I did forget some kid called Mickey...,' The Doctor began.

'Yeah, he's not a kid-,'

'It's because I'm trying to save the life of every _stupid ape_ blundering on top of this planet, alright?'

'Alright!'

'Yes! It is!'

The Wizard's lips twitched, she clearly found something in that amusing, probably the "stupid ape," part.

Rose shook her head before turning to The Doctor again. 'If you are an alien, then how comes you sound like you're from the North?'

The Doctor folded his arms, peeved. 'Lots of planets have a North!'

'And what about you, Wizard?'

'Me?'

'Where are you from?'

'Same place as he is,' The Wizard tilted her head in The Doctor's direction, 'though not the north,' she teased. The Doctor rolled his eyes sarcastically in response.

'Right… and… What's a police public call box?'

'It's a telephone box from the 1950s,' The Doctor began, patting the TARDIS fondly. 'It's a disguise.'

'Ish,' The Wizard quipped as Rose shook her head with a grin.

'Okay. And this living plastic, what's it got against us?'

'Nothing, it loves you. You've got such a good planet. Lots of smoke and oil, plenty of toxins and dioxins in the air... perfect. Just what the Nestene Consciousness needs. It's food stock was destroyed in the war, all its protein plants rotted, so Earth... dinner!'

'Don't sound too sad about it, Doctor,' The Wizard continued to tease. She began to turn around and look for something.

Rose smiled at her. 'Any way of stopping it?'

The Doctor removed his arms from their indignant fold and he grinned, pulling out a large blue test tube from his pocket filled with a deep blue liquid. 'Anti-plastic!'

'Anti-plastic...'

'Anti-plastic! But first I've got to find it. How can you hide something that big in a city this small?'

'Hold on... hide what?'

'The transmitter. The Consciousness is controlling every single piece of plastic so it needs a transmitter to boost the signal.'

'What's it look like?'

'Like a transmitter. Round and massive, slap bang in the middle of London.' The Doctor paced around. 'A huge circular metal structure... like a dish... like a wheel, close to where we're standing. Must be completely invisible..'

'You could just try scanning for it,' The Wizard said, as though she didn't expect him to listen anyway. She stopped turning when she saw the London Eye, though with an exchange of amused glances with Rose didn't mention it.

Rose and The Wizard raised an eyebrow at The Doctor, who turned his head and glanced behind him. 'What?'

They both nodded at the Eye.

Still nonplussed, The Doctor looked behind him and back again. 'What?'

The Doctor turned around again, glancing twice, but still didn't make any connection of any sort. 'What is it? What?'

Both Rose and The Wizard were hiding a chuckle.

The Doctor turned around again and paused for a second. A faint; 'Oh...' was all it took to send Rose and The Wizard into chuckles. 'Fantastic!'

With a grin at the two, The Doctor led the way, followed and overtaken by The Wizard.

They came to a halt at the foot of the Eye, The Wizard looking around and scanning the structure with her sonic.

'Think of it.' The Doctor looked around. 'Plastic, all over the world. Every artificial thing waiting to come alive. The shop window dummies, the phones, the wires, the cables...'

'The breast implants...' Rose added.

'Oh, we've started those have we? Don't worry, they'll go out of fashion eventually,' The Wizard said.

'Still, we've found the transmitter. The Consciousness must be somewhere underneath.'

Rose ran to the edge of the path at The Thames and called back to the others. 'What about down here?'

The Doctor and The Wizard stuck their heads out. Down a few steps was a hatch. 'Looks good to me.'

They ran to the hatch and The Doctor pulled the lid open. Smoke glowing with a red light hissed from the opening and without a word The Doctor climbed in, The Wizard following and then Rose. Scaffolding and chains surrounded them, tracing the edge of the area. When they reached the edge of the platform The Doctor pointed to the bottom where the wobbling, jelly like orange consciousness was.

'The Nestene Consciousness, that's it, inside the vat. A living, plastic creature.'

Rose stayed a little away from the railing. 'Well, then. Tip in your anti-plastic and let's go.'

'We're not here to kill it. We've got to give it a chance.'

While Rose looked uncomfortable they went down to the next platform and The Doctor addressed the consciousness. Rose stood behind the two, peering down between their heads.

'I seek audience with the Nestene Consciousness under peaceful contract. According to convention 15 of the Shadow Proclamation.'

The consciousness replied, though to Rose it looked more like a wobble.

'Thank you. That I might have permission to approach?'

The Wizard looked around as they heard Rose's footsteps then she appeared, running toward Mickey, who was sitting further down and tied up. In perfect, chagrin sync The Doctor and The Wizard rolled their eyes at Rose's ignorance of respect and strolled down calmly.

'Oh, my God! Mickey! It's okay! It's alright!'

'That thing down there, the liquid, Rose, it can talk!' Mickey was shrieking.

'You're stinking! Doctor, Wizard they kept him alive!'

'Yeah, that was always a possibility. Keep him alive to maintain the copy. Wizard did tell you that.'

Rose looked at The Doctor, a little annoyed but didn't say anything when The Wizard raised a finger to her lips, telling her to be quiet. Instead, Rose helped Mickey to his feet as The Doctor continued trying to talk to the Consciousness.

'Am I addressing the Consciousness?'

It wobbled and The Wizard held back a sigh.

'Thank you. If I might observe, you infiltrated this civilization by means of warped, shunt technology. So, may I suggest, with the greatest respect, that you shunt off?' The Doctor finished with a wide grin.

The plastic below them wobbled, causing the Timelords to roll their eyes.

'Oh don't give us that, it's an invasion! Plain and simple! Don't talk about constitutional rights!' The Doctor began to lose his patience.

To Rose, the plastic wobbled. To The Doctor and The Wizard it was ranting.

'I... am... talking! This planet is just starting. These stupid little people have only just learnt how to walk, but they're capable of so much more. I'm asking you on their behalf - please, just go.' As The Doctor said this, two Autons came behind the Timelords and jumped them, holding their forearms behind their backs.

'Wizard! Doctor!' Rose's shout came from above where she and Mickey had ended up.

In Old High Gallfreyan, The Wizard let out a curse when the Auton holding The Doctor pulled the anti-plastic from his pocket.

Immediately The Doctor panicked. 'That was just insurance! I wasn't going to _use_ it.

The Nestene Consciousness was not polite in its response and The Wizard swore again.

'We were not attacking you. We're here to help. We're not your enemy.' The Doctor glanced at The Wizard and continued. 'I swear, I'm not...'

The Consciousness interrupted him.

'What do you mean?'

'Doctor, the TARDIS,' The Wizard muttered.

As it dawned on The Doctor, the doors on the platform above them swung open to reveal the TARDIS. The Wizard winced and tried to tug her arm free gently as The Doctor panicked.

'Oh, oh no, honestly, no! Yes, that's my ship.'

The roar from the Consciousness made Rose cover her ears as she watched, scared.

The Doctor was yelling. 'That's not true. I should know, I was there. We fought in the war. It wasn't our fault! We couldn't save your world! We couldn't save any of them!'

'What's it doing?!' Rose shouted.

'It's the TARDIS!' shouted The Doctor.

'It's from our world,' The Wizard added.

'The Nestene has identified its superior technology. It's terrified! It's going to the final base. It's starting the invasion! Get out, Rose! Just leg it! Now!' The Doctor continued to struggle.

'Go, Rose!' The Wizard urged, almost throwing the Auton holding her into the liquid plastic below.

Rose called her mother instead. 'Mum?!'

The Wizard glanced up at Rose before aiming a kick at the anti-plastic in the hand of the Auton holding The Doctor. She missed as it was pulled further away.

'Where are you, mum?'

The Doctor wrestled further.

'Go home! Just go home, right now! Mum?! Mum!'

'Rose, what's wrong?' The Wizard shouted.

'She's gone into the shops!'

Another curse left The Wizard's mouth.

A blue signal beamed off the London Eye above them, though they couldn't see it. They could tell by the noise and the signal around the plastic. The area shook as it did.

'It's the activation signal! It's transmitting! Get out, Rose! Just get out! Run!'

A part of the ceiling crashed to the platforms, pulling the stairs down with it to the floor.

'The stairs have gone!' Rose tried the TARDIS. 'I haven't got the key!'

'We're gonna die!'

The Wizard grunted as she loosed the plastic grip behind her.

'Just leave them!'

The Timelords heard Mickey's shout and spared him a glance. Rose meanwhile, noticed by The Wizard, had picked up a fire axe and was talking to herself. The Wizard gritted her teeth and, as Rose swung toward them on a chain, ducked and threw the Auton holding her into the plastic below before wrenching the anti-plastic from the Auton's hand. Rose kicked the one holding The Doctor into the Nestene Consciousness.

Rose landed into The Doctor's arms and watched as without a word The Wizard dropped the large blue test tube directly into the Consciousness, which started to writhe and scream.

'Now we're in trouble,' The Doctor grinned.

The Wizard took Rose's hand and The Doctor took her other as the Consciousness began to explode.

Despite the shaking ground, Rose, The Doctor, The Wizard and Mickey all reached the TARDIS. The Doctor and The Wizard sprang in and both immediately ran to the console. Behind them Mickey gasped and screamed, looking around him and cowering by the door. A moment later Rose entered.

'Door, shut,' The Wizard called from her quick work on the console levers and keys. When Rose shut the door The Doctor flicked another switch and The Wizard pulled the last lever. The TARDIS wheezed as it flew away. Mickey continued to whimper and look around as the noise continued. When it stopped he looked at The Doctor and The Wizard's calm expressions and jumped up, ran backwards out of the TARDIS and fell over.

With a grin to the Timelords, Rose called her mother and exited the ship.

The Doctor and The Wizard moved to the door, each leaning on one side of the frame and peering at their surrounding alleyway.

Rose laughed happily when she heard her mother's voice before hanging up and walking to Mickey. 'A fat lot of good you were!'

'Nestene Consciousness?' The Doctor clicked his fingers. 'Easy.'

With a glance to The Wizard, Rose teased The Doctor. 'You were useless in there. You'd be dead if it wasn't for us.'

'Yes, I would.' The Doctor glanced at The Wizard and kept his gaze on Rose. 'Thank you.' A moment later he went back to being chipper. 'Right then! We'll be off! Unless, uh... I don't know... you could come with us.' He was offering casually, but looked quite hopeful.

Rose was undecided and put her hands in her pockets.

'This box isn't just a London hopper, you know, it goes anywhere in the universe, free of charge.'

Mickey found his voice, to The Wizard's annoyance. 'Don't! He's an alien! He's a thing!'

The Wizard tutted.

'He's _not_ invited.' The Doctor looked momentarily at Mickey. 'What do you think? You could stay here and fill your life with work and food and sleep, or you could go, uh... anywhere.' He shrugged.

'Is it always this dangerous?' Rose asked.

'Yeah.' The Doctor nodded.

Acting like a kindergarten student, Mickey put his arms around Rose's legs.

'It's not,' The Wizard assured her, 'not on the days he sleeps in.'

Rose smiled, though it faded quickly. She swayed awkwardly. 'Yeah, I can't... I've um... gotta go and find my mum and um... someone's gotta look after this stupid lump...' She gave a small chuckle and patted Mickey on the back, causing him to hug her tighter. 'So...'

'Okay. See you around.' The Doctor nodded slowly and The Wizard turned around and walked back to the console.

Rose clearly hesitated, though she didn't say anything and so The Doctor shut the door. The Wizard pulled the lever again and when the TARDIS stopped making noise The Doctor opened it again, looking at a surprised and a little relieved Rose.

'By the way... Did I mention, it also travels in time?' He grinned and stepped back from the door, sending The Wizard a smile. She returned it.

Rose sprinted in a moment later and hugged The Wizard, who patted her back.

'Before we do anything, I'll show you around. Follow me, you'll need to know where the kitchen and the bathroom is. We'd better make you your own room as well.'

'Make?'

The Wizard blinked, looked at The Doctor and looked back to Rose. 'I'll do some explaining…'


	2. DW 1-13 The Parting of the Ways

'We've got incoming!'

'Thank you, Jack,' muttered The Wizard, 'I can see that.'

'The forcefield isn't working!'

'Of course it's not. Pass it here.'

Jack stepped aside and The Wizard fiddled with the extrapolator, while The Doctor flew the Tardis.

'Missiles are about to hit!'

'Love from Gallifrey, monsters,' muttered The Wizard. Jack glanced uncertainly at her. She had a wicked grin on her face and the missiles hit.

Jack looked around as the Tardis shook. 'The extrapolator's working. We've got a fully functional forcefield. Try saying that when you're drunk.'

'Next time you are, I'll get you to say it,' said The Wizard, stepping next to The Doctor to pull a lever.

'No, no! Not again!' he replied.

'And for our next trick,' said The Doctor as they pulled a lever.

'Did you count for any Daleks around Rose?'

'Nope.'

Chagrin, The Wizard tossed Jack a large gun and sent The Doctor a glare. 'Let's hope there's only one.'

The Tardis materialised, inside Rose and a single Dalek appeared.

'Rose, get down!' yelled The Doctor, as she looked around in shock and froze. 'Get down, Rose!'

The Wizard leapt forward in a flurry of black coat and pulled Rose down.

'Exterminate!' The Dalek fired, The Doctor dodged and Jack returned the fire. The Dalek died simply.

'You did it,' said Rose, grinning at The Wizard and giving her a hug. With a smile the Timelord returned it, and Rose moved on to hug The Doctor. 'Feels like I haven't seem you in years.'

'We told you we'd come and get you.'

'Never doubted it.' Rose said with a grin.

'I did, Wizard didn't. You all right?'

'Yeah. You?'

'Not bad, been better.'

Rose gave The Doctor another hug while The Wizard regarded the open Dalek shell and the organism inside with pure hatred, though it was disguised as disgust. Jack frowned a little, her eyes seemed too hard for her emotion to just be about the smell. 'Hey, don't I get a hug?' he said, choosing to give The Wizard some space and turn to Rose.

'Oh, come here!'

'I was talking to him.' Jack pointed at The Doctor and he and Rose laughed. 'Welcome home.'

'Oh, I thought I'd never see you again.'

'Oh, you were lucky. That was just a one shot wonder. Drained the gun of all its power supply. Now it's just a piece of junk.'

'It was a piece of junk to begin with, Jack,' said The Wizard slightly cheekily, 'what on Earth did you make it out of?'

'A defrabricator.'

'Well that explains how you somehow managed to change your clothes during this madness,' she sighed, before crossing to the console and flicking a few switches. The Dalek, and the irony, metallic smell, disappeared, dissolving into atoms.

Jack nodded at the disappearing angry tank. 'The Daleks.'

'What about them?' asked The Wizard, heavily and yet lightly.

'You said they were extinct. How comes they're still alive?' asked Rose.

'One minute they're the greatest threat in the Universe, the next minute they vanished out of time and space.' Jack looked at The Wizard.

'They went off to fight a bigger war. The Time War,' said The Doctor.

Jack's eyes widened. 'I thought that was just a legend.'

The Wizard laughed. It was harsh, painful and mocking, making Jack and Rose feel tiny and insignificant when they heard the sound.

'We were there,' said The Doctor. 'The war between the Daleks and the Time Lords, with the whole of creation at stake. Our people were destroyed, but they took the Daleks with them. I almost thought it was worth it. Now it turns out they died for nothing.'

'There's thousands of them now. We could hardly stop one.' Rose looked between the two. 'What're we going to do?'

Jack read The Wizard's face, which said clearly her answer was to wipe them out using something he had no doubt was genius. She walked away to lean on the wall at the opposite end of the console room. He joined her.

'You seem worse about the Daleks than The Doctor does.'

The Wizard watched him for a moment. 'Jack, I'll tell you a story.' She took a breath. 'You thought the Time War was a myth. In the time of Gallifrey, the Daleks rose, created by a very afraid and unwise being. They sought to destroy everything in the Universe, to wipe out all creation. This was because in his youth, the creator lived in fear; he lived in a war. To be safe, he protected himself by starting the Last Great Time War, intending to live only with his own loyal, screaming, creations; The Daleks.' The Wizard was perfectly calm. 'The Timelords intervened and stood for the sake of the universe. The war became angry, and the universe shook. Until finally, it became hell. Everything in the universe was screaming.

'So to stop it, the day the Daleks attacked Gallifrey its second city, Arcadia, fell. We were there. All the Daleks that had disappeared from the universe had gone to fight my people. The Timelords were put through hell, and even Rassilon himself became corrupt, driven mad by the loss of what we once were. Wise observes and travellers, grand and safe. They didn't deserve to be killed at the hands of the Daleks, they didn't deserve to lose when they had stood for something much larger than themselves. But the Daleks couldn't be won against. And as the universe shook in the final days, there was only one thing that would end it. So they burnt.'

Jack saw The Wizard's eyes had become grey, no longer with their blue shining through the silver sheet. And the look in her eye told him what she hadn't said. She and The Doctor were the ones who burnt it.

'The Timelords were burnt with the Daleks. Because there was no way to save them. Everything burnt.' She took a breath. 'But it was a long time before that happened, and The Doctor and I spent years fighting in the war. I have different methods. I think and I withdraw. I never wanted to see a Dalek again.' Her eyes lifted to look at the steaming Dalek remains. 'And now it falls to The Doctor and I to keep fighting.'

Jack nodded, eyes widened, shuffled, he fidgeted and didn't know what to do. But The Wizard returned to the console and after exchanging sad looks with The Doctor they changed.

The Doctor's solemn mood switched into cheery and he shrugged. 'No good stood round here chin wagging. Human race, you'd gossip all day. The Daleks have got the answers. Let's go and meet the neighbours.' He and The Wizard went to the doors and Rose panicked.

'You can't go out there!'

They went out. And were greeted by a chorus of yelling Daleks.

'Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!'

They fired, but the Tardis' forcefield protected them. Jack and Rose stood in the doors, watching like small children as The Doctor and The Wizard stood calmly, teasing the Daleks.

'Is that it? Useless! Null points,' he said in a French accent. He turned to the two in the door. 'It's all right, come on out. That forcefield can hold back anything.' He leant on the Tardis.

'Almost anything,' said Jack, stepping out.

'Yes, but I wasn't going to tell them that. Thanks.' The Doctor said.

'Sorry.'

The Wizard deliberately hadn't said anything, she was busy counting Daleks and considering their options. She also was busy simply glaring at them from her lean on the Tardis.

The Doctor picked a Dalek at random and glared into its eye stalk, talking deeply. 'Do you know what they call me in the ancient legends of the Dalek Homeworld? The Oncoming Storm. And my friend over there is The Looming Thunder. You might've removed all your emotions but I reckon right down deep in your DNA, there's one little spark left, and that's fear. Doesn't it just burn when you face us?' He turned to address the others. 'So tell us. How did you survive the Time War?'

'They survived through me.'

A deep Dalek voice echoed through the then suddenly larger space as the lights lit up around them. With Daleks floating higher than skyscrapers, The Doctor span round quickly and walked towards the source. The Wizard, on the other hand, turned her head slowly, eyes like pouring hot water into a glass, Jack and Rose could see the hatred filling as she turned. She lifted her weight off of the Tardis and turned slowly to face the giant Dalek watching her. She stayed next to the Tardis for a moment before striding in four steps to stand next to The Doctor. The other two followed her.

'Rose, Captain, this is the Emperor of the Daleks.'

'You destroyed us, Wizard, Doctor. The Dalek race died in your inferno, but my ship survived, falling through time, crippled but alive.'

'We get it,' said The Doctor, interrupting the Emperor's poetry.

'Do not interrupt!' a chorus of Daleks shouted.

'Do not interrupt!'

'Do not interrupt!'

'I think you're forgetting something. I'm The Doctor, and if there's one thing I can do, it's talk. I've got five billion languages, and you haven't got one way of stopping me. So if anybody's going to shut up, it's you!' he turned to shout at the Daleks, who moved back. Then he faced the Emperor again. 'Okey doke. So, where were we?'

The Wizard hadn't moved, nor said anything. But the Emperor was watching her cautiously.

'We waited here in the dark space, damaged but rebuilding. Centuries passed, and we quietly infiltrated the systems of Earth, harvesting the waste of humanity. The prisoners, the refugees, the dispossessed. They all came to us. The bodies were filtered, pulped, sifted. The seed of the human race is perverted. Only one cell in a billion was fit to be nurtured.'

The Wizard's face twisted.

'So you created an army of Daleks out of the dead.' The Doctor said sadly.

'That makes them half human!' gasped Rose.

'Those words are blasphemy,' replied the Emperor angrily.

'Do not blaspheme.'

'Do not blaspheme.'

'Do not blaspheme.'

'They're fact,' snapped The Wizard.

The Doctor frowned at the Daleks.

The Emperor regarded her with wariness. 'Everything human has been purged. I cultivated pure and blessed Dalek.'

'Since when did the Daleks have a concept of blasphemy?' asked The Doctor breathlessly.

The Wizard tilted her head, as if to say "exactly".

'I reached into the dirt and made new life. I am the God of all Daleks!'

'Worship him. Worship him. Worship him.'

'Worship him. Worship him. Worship him.'

'Worship him. Worship him. Worship him.'

'Worship him. Worship him. Worship him.'

'Shut up!' yelled The Wizard. They fell silent.

'They're insane,' said The Doctor in shock, 'Hiding in silence for hundreds of years, that's enough to drive anyone mad. But it's worse than that. Driven mad by your own flesh. The stink of humanity. You hate your own existence. And that makes them more deadly than ever… … We're going.' He said the last part to the Emperor.

'You may not leave my presence..!' screamed the Emperor, as they left.

The Doctor sent them a winning grin as he closed the Tardis doors.

'Stay where you are.'

'Exterminate!'

'Exterminate!'

'Worship him. Worship him. Worship him.'

'OH, SHUT UP!' yelled The Wizard, pulling the lever.

They materialised on the satellite station in the computer lab. Three people were at the end comuters at the main desk. The Doctor strode out, giving orders. 'Turn everything up. All transmitters full power, wide open. Now! Do it!'

They turned off their questioning looks and did as he said, while The Wizard resumed leaning on the Tardis, head tilted back to also rest on the wood, thoughts and eyes elsewhere.

'What does this do?' asked one of the men.

'Stops the Daleks from transmatting on board. How did you get on? Did you contact Earth?'

'Well, we tried to warn them, but all they did was suspend our license because we stopped the programmes.'

The Doctor looked up in fear. 'And the planet's just sitting there, defenceless. Lynda, what're you still doing on board? I told you to evacuate everyone.'

'She wouldn't go,' the man said.

'Didn't want to leave ya,' she said, looking at the Timelords.

The woman between Linda and The Doctor spoke up, she sounded remarkably calm, and The Wizard turned her attention to her. 'There weren't enough shuttles anyway, or I wouldn't be here. We've got about a hundred people stranded on Floor Zero.'

'Brilliant,' sighed The Wizard quietly in a whisper-like voice, dropping her head back to the wood. She took a deep breath and put her head upright again, looking down and sending her eyes around as she thought.

'Oh, my God. The Fleet is moving. They're on their way!' exclaimed the man.

'Well they weren't going to wait for an invitation,' said The Wizard blankly, a hint of a sigh. She left the Tardis as The Doctor began pulling bits from the conduits between the Tardis and the front computers, bending over and helping him.

'Dalek plan,' he said, as he threw open the next conduit along, 'big mistake, because what have they left me with? Anyone? Anyone?' He regarded the others with a moment of exasperation as they stood there. 'Oh, come on, it's obvious. A great big transmitter. This station. If I can change the signal, fold it back, sequence it, anyone?'

Jack shook his head as his brain caught on. 'You've got to be kidding.'

'Give the man a medal,' said The Doctor and The Wizard, still pulling out cables.

'A Delta Wave?!'

'A Delta Wave!' they shouted, The Doctor happily and The Wizard not finding the time to pause and throw her arms out, like he had done.

'What's a Delta Wave?' asked Rose.

'A wave of Van Cassadyne energy. It fries your brain. Stand in the way of a Delta Wave and your head gets barbequed,' Jack explained, mirroring The Wizard's seriousness and contrasting The Doctor's happy enthusiasm.

'And this place can transmit a massive wave. Wipe out the Daleks!' shouted said Timelord.

'Well, get started and do it then!' jumped Lynda.

The Wizard didn't appreciate Rose's look as Lynda spoke before her, neither did she care that Rose was unhappy. Rose should have known enough by then. 'There are Daleks, Rose. You may have no idea, but if you can read the situation now isn't the time for sulking.'

Rose sent her a genuinely apologetic look.

The Doctor hadn't been listening. 'Trouble is, wave this size, building this big, brain as clever as mine, should take about, oh, three days? Combine that with The Wizard, should take about… one day! How long till the Fleet arrive?'

'Twenty two minutes.'

'Definitely not a day,' grumbled The Wizard. 'Jack, stop standing there and help.'

Jack dove forward and began also pulling out wires. The Doctor sent the others a grin and didn't stop after that.

'Jack, set up that extrapolator to protect the station.' The Wizard said.

'Got it,' he replied and ran into the Tardis.

A few minutes later he, Rose, Lynda and the other two were crowded around the computer. The wires surrounding the conduits had increased dramatically and the whir of sonic screwdriver filled the background.

'We've now got a forcefield so they can't blast us out of the sky, but that doesn't stop the Daleks from physically invading.'

'Do they know about the Delta Wave?'

'They'll have worked it out at the same time. So, they want to stop The Doctor and The Wizard.' Jack pointed to the screen. 'That means they've got to get to this level, five hundred. Now, I can concentrate the extrapolator around the top six levels, five hundred to four nine five. So they'll penetrate the station below that at level four nine four and fight their way up.'

'Who are they fighting?'

'Us.'

'And what are we fighting with?'

''The guards had guns with bastic bullets. That's enough to blow a Dalek wide open.'

The Wizard had been listening and deemed it unnecessary to tell Jack he was wrong. Nothing on the station, save for the Tardis could kill a Dalek.

'There's _five_ of us.'

'Rose, you can help me. I need all these wires stripping bare.' The Doctor said, as The Wizard stripped another one and whirred her sonic.

'Right, now there's _four_ of us.'

'Then let's move it. Into the lift. Isolate the lift controls.'

Lynda stayed behind to talk to The Doctor. 'I just want to say, er, thanks, I suppose, and I'll do my best.'

'Us too,' he replied, pausing in his work.

The Doctor awkwardly shook her hand, initially going for a hug. She walked away and Rose smiled at The Wizard, showing she'd grown up. The Wizard smiled back and clasped her hand for a moment. Then Jack walked up and The Doctor put down the wires again.

'It's been fun, but I guess this is goodbye.'

The Wizard drew in a deep breath, but didn't stop working. There wasn't enough time for them all to pause.

Rose shook her head, voice normal. 'Don't talk like that. They're going to do it. You just watch them.'

'Rose, you are worth fighting for.' Jack, being Jack, kissed her. Then his smile changed and he moved on to speak to The Doctor. 'Wish I'd never met you, Doctor.'

The Doctor smiled.

'I was much better off as a coward.'

The Wizard stood up. 'I need to re-route a power supply. Jack, I'll see you down there.'

He nodded before turning back to The Doctor.

The Wizard's heels clicked as she ran out and down a level. After she'd finished her task Jack appeared as she took a step back to the control room. She stopped the second she saw him.

He rested his hands on his hips. 'Thanks for all the extra trips,' he said, 'it's been great. I'm sorry about that time on Mars.'

She chuckled, remembering the chaos and Jack in the middle of it, breaking stools over Judoon. 'Well I'm never taking you to a bar again.'

'Don't think you'll have to,' he said, still pleasantly, though there was sadness in his voice. He turned his head, looking around as he formed his words before swinging it back just as quickly, meeting her eyes dead on. 'You've done a lot for me, Wizard. I'm very grateful.'

A solemn smile wrote its way along her face. 'You're one of the best, Jack.'

He smiled and looked down modestly, before regarding her coat and meeting her eyes again. 'I never thought I'd meet a Timelord. And I never expected for one of them to be my greatest friend.'

Silence fell for a moment as they smiled at each other. Jack was scared, but determined to fight. He didn't want to leave The Doctor, The Wizard and Rose, but if he died, it wasn't like he'd know the difference. He just didn't want to.

The Wizard, having said goodbye to a great many good friends found herself obviously with the feeling she got every time a companion left in any way, shape or form.

Each opened their arms out and fell into a hug.

'Thanks again for all those extra trips we took together,' he said, from her shoulder.

'Thank you for keeping The Doctor behaving.'

He laughed and put his face down to touch her shoulder before sighing as they let go.

'Goodbye, Wizard.'

'Goodbye, Jack.'

They passed each other sadly, yet determinedly, and The Wizard went back upstairs.

'Suppose...' Rose said, looking up from the wires.

'What?' asked the Timelords, glancing up.

'Nothing.'

'You said suppose,' said The Doctor, working.

'No, I was just thinking. I mean, obviously you can't, but, you got a time machine. Why can't you just go back to last week and warn them?'

'As soon as the Tardis lands in that second, I become part of events, stuck in the timeline.'

'Yeah, thought it'd be something like that.'

'There's another thing the Tardis could do,' continued The Doctor, not bothering to look up. The Wizard held no interest in the conversation. 'It could take us away. We could leave. Let history take its course. We go to Marbella in 1989.'

'Yeah, but you'd never do that.'

'No, but you could ask. Never even occurred to you, did it?'

'Well, I'm just too good,' Rose chuckled.

The Wizard glanced up to send her a smile, sonicing a wire. Then a whoosh in the nearby electronics made them look to their left, and Rose to her right.

'The Delta Wave's started building. How long does it need?'

They ran over to a console and The Doctor checked the maths. The Wizard and he bowed their heads.

'Is that bad? Okay, it's bad. How bad is it?' Rose asked, panic reaching her voice at the sight of the two.

The Doctor jumped and span round, looking at her. He stood up and The Wizard hid a sad smile. 'Rose Tyler, you're a genius! We can do it. If I use the Tardis to cross my old timeline. Yes!'

They ran in, the Timelords grinning from ear to ear for Rose.

'Hold that down and keep position.'

'That too,' said The Wizard, putting Rose's other finger on a button.

'What's it do?'

'Cancels the buffers. If I'm very clever and I'm more than clever, I'm brilliant, I might just save the world. Or rip it apart…'

'Save it, Doctor, she's pressing the other button,' The Wizard said. To make it convincing, she had to.

'I'd go for the first one,' agreed Rose.

'Us too. Now, I've just got to go and power up the Game Station. Hold on!'

They ran out again and when they heard the doors shut, the stopped.

'You can go too,' they said to each other at the same time. They grinned again and put an arm over the other's shoulders, raising their sonics sadly and pointing at the Tardis.

A sound they expected never to hear again whooshed through their ears and they heard Rose yelling to them. 'Wizard, Doctor, what're you doing? Can I take my hand off? It's moving!' They heard her banging on the door. 'Doctor, Wizard let me out! Let me out! What've you done?!'

They turned back to the computers.

' _This is Emergency Programme One. Rose, now listen, this is important. If this message is activated, then it can only mean one thing. We must be in danger. And I mean fatal. The Wizard and I are dead or about to die any second with no chance of escape.'_

'No!'

' _And that's okay. Hope it's a good death. But we promised to look after you, and that's what I'm doing. The Tardis is taking you home.'_

' _You're going home, Rose. We're keeping you safe.'_

'I won't let you.'

' _And we bet you're fussing and moaning now.'_

' _Mm, whining and panicking.'_

' _Mm, yeah, typical. But hold on and just listen a bit more. The Tardis can never return for us.'_

' _Go home and eat chips. Go and eat your beans on toast.'_

' _Emergency Programme One means we're facing an enemy that should never get their hands on this machine. So this is what you should do. Let the Tardis die. Just let this old box gather dust. No one can open it. No one'll even notice it. Let it become a strange little thing standing on a street corner. And over the years, the world'll move on and the box will be buried. And if you want to remember us, then you can do one thing. That's all, one thing. Have a good life. Do that for us, Rose. Have a fantastic life.'_

' _Goodbye, Rose.'_

'You can't do this to me. You can't. Take me back! Take me back! No! Come on, fly. How do you fly? Come on, help me!'

'Rose, I've called up the internal laser codes.'

They looked up at the sound of Jack's voice.

'There should be a different number on every screen. Can you read them out to me?'

'She's not here,' replied The Doctor.

'Of all the times to take a leak. When she gets back, tell her to read me the codes.'

'She's not coming back.'

'I'll read them, Jack.' The Wizard crossed to the screens.

'What do you mean? Where'd she go?'

'We sent her home,' said The Wizard.

'The Delta Wave. Is it ever going to be ready?'

Before either could reply; 'Tell him the truth, Wizard.' The Dalek Emperor was speaking on the screen. 'There is every possibility the Delta Wave could be complete, but no possibility of refining it. The Delta Wave must kill every living thing in its path, with no distinction between human and Dalek, Doctor.'

Jack had frozen.

'All things will die. By your hand.'

'Wouldn't be the first time,' said The Wizard, cold creeping in to her voice. The Emperor continued to speak, but watched her carefully.

Jack spoke. 'Wizard, Doctor, the range of this transmitter covers the entire Earth.'

'You would destroy Daleks and Humans together. If I am God, the creator of all things, then what does that make you, Doctor, Wizard?'

'Don't you talk to me about destroying two races at once,' said The Wizard, furious storms raging beneath her eyes, coming closer. Looming Thunder.

'There are colonies out there. The Human Race would survive in some shape or form, but you're the only Daleks in existence. The whole Universe is in danger. If we let you live.'

The Wizard sighed.

'Do you see, Jack? That's the decision I've got to make for every living thing. Die as a human or live as a Dalek. What would you do?'

'You sent her home. She's safe. Keep working.'

'You're not safe,' The Wizard pointed out conversationally, ignoring the Emperor.

'I chose not to be.'

She nodded.

'But they will exterminate you!'

'Never doubted them,' Jack replied bluntly at the booming Dalek voice. 'Never will.'

The Wizard smiled, and they paused, watching each other through the screens. The last moment before chaos spread, and the two friends spared a moment to look closely to make sure the other was alright. Jack wasn't sure about what he saw.

'Now, you tell me, God of all Daleks, because there's one thing I never worked out. The words Bad Wolf, spread across time and space, everywhere, drawing me in. How'd you manage that?' The Doctor asked.

'Um,' said The Wizard, doubting him.

'I did nothing.'

'Didn't think so.'

'Oh, come on, there's no secrets now, your worship,' replied The Doctor.

'They are not part of my design. This is the Truth of God.'

'Doctor, they're Daleks. Since when have they cared about stalking us with poetry?'

'They've accelerated,' called Jack.

A Gallifreyan swear left The Wizard in a near war-cry.

They ignored as Jack focused on working with the others.

'You were right. They're forcing the airlock on four nine four,' said Lynda.

The satellite shook and Daleks started entering the station. Fire filled The Wizard's blood and she drew her sword, keeping it in a reversed hold and kept working.

'Okay, activate internal lasers. Slice them up.'

'You shouldn't be fighting,' The Wizard said to him.

He didn't reply, but he didn't need to. He would if they asked him to, and if they didn't.

'Defences have gone offline. The Dalek's have overridden the lot.'

'You lied to me! The bullets don't work!' came a scream through the comms. The Wizard and The Doctor ignored them, but never forgot.

'Advance guard have made it to four nine five.'

'Thank you, Lynda,' said The Wizard.

'Jack,' called The Doctor, 'How're we doing?'

'Four nine five should be good. I like four nine five.'

'Identify yourself!'

'You are the weakest link. Goodbye!'

'Yes!'

The Wizard had to laugh as three Daleks were vaporised.

'You are the weakest link.'

They heard the explosion.

'Proceed to next level.'

'They're flying up the ventilation shafts. No, wait a minute. Oh, my God. Why're they doing that? They're going down!' worried Lynda.

'They're killing the people down there,' said The Wizard without tone. 'Lynda!' she called over the noise of the Dalek's slaughter. 'Focus. Be careful.'

'Floor Zero. They killed them all.'

'Lynda! What's happening on Earth?'

'The Fleet's descending. They're bombing whole continents. Europa, Pacifica, the New American Alliance. Australasia's just gone.'

The Wizard's eyes blinked shut for a moment, and Jack forced himself to only use a moment to glance at her and The Doctor.

'This is perfection. I have created Heaven on Earth.'

They ignored the Emperor and waited for Jack to talk.

They heard the gunfire and looked over.

'I've got a problem.'

'Human female detected.'

'They've found me.'

'Lynda!' yelled The Wizard.

'You'll be all right, Lynda. That side of the station's reinforced against meteors,' said The Doctor.

The Doctor glanced again at the screen and saw The Wizard's face, telling him he'd forgotten something.

'Hope so! You know what they say about Earth workmanship.'

They heard the smash of glass and a single scream.

'Last man standing! For God's sake, Doctor, finish that thing and kill them!'

'Jack!' yelled The Wizard.

'Finish that thing and kill mankind,' said The Emperor.

'SHUT UP!' yelled The Wizard.

'Wizard, Doctor, you've got twenty seconds maximum!'

They didn't dare look up and worked like wildfire.

Jack's bullets changed to a pistol. Without hesitation The Wizard threw the cables to the ground, knowing The Doctor could finish it and ran, jumping down onto the lift on the floor below.

The pistol bullets stopped as she pulled the hatch open.

'Exterminate.'

'I kind of figured that.'

The last thing Jack heard was his best friend's yell. He would later remember that more than the pain from the Dalek. He was blown back into the lift. The Wizard closed her eyes and knew she had to go back.

'It's ready!' called The Doctor when she came back into view. Then the Daleks entered.

'You really want to think about this, because if she or I activate the signal, every living creature dies.'

'And despite what you'd like to think; you're living,' said The Wizard.

'I am immortal.'

'Doubt it,' said The Wizard.

'Mm, bad theory, do you want to put that to the test?'

'I want to see you become like me. Hail The Doctor, the Great Exterminator.'

'I'll do it!'

'You never will,' said The Wizard.

'Then prove yourself, Doctor. What are you, coward or killer?'

He tried to, but he couldn't.

'Coward. Any day.' He slumped and deflated.

'Mankind will be harvested because of your weakness.'

'Don't be so sure.' The Wizard took position on the lever from The Doctor. 'You just killed a very good friend of mine. You are responsible for my planet's death. I know there's a reason you fear me, Dalek. Because I carry Gallifrey with me.'

As she spoke the last sentence, the whooshing sound of the Tardis filled their ears. The Wizard paused.  
'Alert! Tardis materialising! You will not escape!'

The doors of the bright blue box burst open and while The Doctor shielded his eyes from the light, The Wizard stood tall, hands still on the lever. She squinted in to the light and saw Rose, her eyes glowing with gold and the same gold coloured energy tendrils cascaded from the Tardis and her.

'What've you done?' exclaimed The Doctor, falling to the floor.

'I looked into the Tardis, and the Tardis looked into me.'

Their eyes widened.

'You looked into the Time Vortex. Rose, no one's meant to see that!'

The Wizard took her hands from the lever.

'This is the Abomination!'

The Wizard smiled. 'No. It's Gallifrey and our companion.'

'Exterminate!' yelled the surrounding Daleks.

Raising a hand, Rose stopped the blue bolts with ease. She then spoke, slowly. 'I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself.' She looked up at the words "Bad Wolf" on the top of the back wall. 'I take the words, I scatter them in time and space. A message to lead myself here.'

They understood, though The Doctor fell into a state of terror.

'Rose, you've got to stop this. You've got to stop this now. You've got the entire vortex running through your head. You're going to burn!'

'I want you safe. My Wizard and Doctor. Protected from the false god.'

'You cannot hurt me. I am immortal.'

'Who told you that?' smiled The Wizard, turning to look at the screen and stand in front of Rose, not blocking her, but still protecting her.

Rose spoke. 'You are tiny. I can see the whole of time and space. Every single atom of your existence, and I divide them.'

The closest Dalek to them disintergrated. 'Everything must come to dust. All things. Everything dies. The Time War ends.'

'Thank you,' said The Wizard quietly to Rose, who smiled at her.

'I will not die. I cannot die!'

The Wizard watched peacefully as the Emperor also disintergrated.

'Rose, you've done it. Now stop. Just let go,' said The Doctor.

'You've done enough,' said The Wizard, moving toward her.

Rose stretched out a hand to take The Wizard's. 'How can I let go of this? I bring life.' She clasped The Wizard's hand as she said this, and The Wizard screamed, feeling the energy from Rose. But she refused to let go of Rose, refused to shy away. Rose took her other hand as well and The Wizard gritted her teeth.

'WIZARD!' yelled The Doctor.

'She can't control it!' said The Wizard.

'What did she do?!' he jumped up.

'I'll find out eventually, Rose! Let this go!'

'This is wrong! You can't control life and death!'

'But I can. The sun and the moon, the day and night. But why do they hurt?'

'The power's going to kill you and it's my fault. I couldn't do it.'

'I was there for you, Doctor. I would have done it,' said The Wizard.

'I know. I know, but it's my fault!'

'I can see everything. All that is, all that was, all that ever could be.'

'That's what we see. All the time. And doesn't it drive you mad?'

'My head. It's killing me!'

The Wizard pulled Rose in for a hug, before letting The Doctor take her from her.

He blamed himself, he was the one who couldn't do it. So he was the one to take the energy of the vortex from Rose.

'I think you need a Doctor.'

The Wizard, meanwhile, noticed her fingers were glowing. Since she let go of Rose, something weird had been fizzing through her cells. It was dying down, but that was all she could tell. Rose had done something, she just wasn't sure what.

Rose had fainted and The Doctor, having just absorbed the time vortex, stumbled as he managed to pick her up. The Wizard walked over and took Rose from him. The Doctor breathed the energy back into the Tardis, then they smiled and went inside.

'Wait, Jack!' he said.

'He's dead,' replied The Wizard, flicking a lever on the console with her foot, not putting Rose down.

'Didn't you sense it? She brought him back to life.'

The Wizard smiled down at Rose, before returning to seriousness. 'Anything different?'

'His life force is strange.'

'Does mine seem the same?'

'Yes, why?'

'That may have been why I didn't sense Jack. She did something to me as well.'

The Doctor looked concerned. 'We'll know at some point.'

'That's comforting.' She set Rose down carefully on the Tardis floor and sat beside her, putting the blonde head of hair onto her lap as a pillow.

'You going to get Jack?' asked The Doctor, ready to pull the lever.

'I will. I'll go back, but we have to get her home.'

The Doctor nodded.

'What happened?'

'Don't you remember?'

'Strange that you don't,' said The Wizard.

'It's like there was this singing.'

'That's right. I sang a song and the Daleks ran away.'

'It was horrible,' teased The Wizard. 'Tone deaf, too.'

'I was at home. No, I wasn't, I was in the Tardis, and there was this light. I can't remember anything else.' Rose shook her head and looked up at The Doctor. He frowned down at his hand.

The Wizard helped Rose sit up and with her head off of her lap she stood up and walked to The Doctor.

'Ah. Time, then?'

He nodded, before turning to Rose. The Wizard leant back on the coral pillars.

'Rose Tyler. I was going take you to so many places. Barcelona. Not the city Barcelona, the planet Barcelona. You'd love it. Fantastic place. They've got dogs with no noses. Imagine how many times a day you end up telling that joke, and it's still funny.'

'Then, why can't we go?'

'Maybe you will, and maybe I will. Wizard might even come. But not like this.'

'You're not making sense.'

'I might never make sense again. I might have two heads, or no head. Imagine me with no head. And don't say that's an improvement. But it's a bit dodgy, this process. You never know what you're going to end up with.' He doubled over suddenly in pain.

'Doctor!' yelled Rose and ran toward him.

The Wizard caught her round the middle and held Rose back as The Doctor met Rose's eyes.

'Stay away!'

'Doctor, tell me what's going on.' Rose turned her head to glance at The Wizard, also asking for an explanation.

'I absorbed all the energy of the Time Vortex, and no one's meant to do that. Every cell in my body's dying.'

'Can't you do something?'

'Yeah, I'm doing it now. Time Lords have this little trick, it's sort of a way of cheating death. Except it means I'm going to change, and I'm not going to see you again. Not like this. Not with this daft old face. And before I go..'

'Don't say that!'

'Rose, before I go, I just want to tell you, you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. Wizard, you're always fantastic. And do you know what? So was I.'

'Definitely,' said The Wizard, grinning. 'Good luck, Doctor.'

Being held in a hug-like hold by The Wizard somewhat soothed Rose, and she turned her head down to avoid the golden bright light.

The Wizard noticed the calmness of that particular regeneration.

Then a South London accent filled the Tardis.

'Hello. Okay. S-Ooo, new teeth… … … That's weird. So, where was I? Oh, that's right. Barcelona.'

The Wizard blinked at the new Doctor.


	3. DW 2-4 School Reunion

Day Two.

'That's not your normal coat.'

'We're in a school, Doctor, one of the worst places in the universe. I can't afford to ruin my favourite coat.'

The Doctor and The Wizard walked along a corridor chuckling, burst into a classroom and The Doctor took charge; 'Good morning, class. Are we sitting comfortably?'

The Wizard wasn't. She patted the inside of her long coat and began to fiddle with her sonic screwdriver.

'So… Physics.' The Doctor wrote it on the board in straggly capitals.

'Physics, eh?' He threw the pen to The Wizard, who caught it and set it down beside her.

'Physicsss. Phy-y-ysics. Physics. Physics, Physics, Physics, Physics, Physics, Physics. Physics!'

The Wizard rolled her eyes fondly.

'Hope one of you is getting all this down.'

The Wizard snorted in amusement.

'Okay! Let's see what you know. Two identical strips of Nylon are charged with static electricity and hung from strings so they can swing freely. What would happen if they were brought near each other?'

A boy put his hand up. The Wizard blinked at him.

'Yes! Er… what's your name?'

'Milo.'

'Milo! Of you go.'

'They'd repel each other because they have the same charge.'

'Correctamundo…! a word I… have never used before and hopefully never will again.'

The Wizard laughed and sat beside The Doctor on the desk.

'Question two. I coil up a thin piece of micro wire and place it in a glass of water. Then I turn on the electricity and measure to see if the water's temperature is affected. My question is this. How do I measure the electrical power going into the coil?'

She looked closely at the students. Again, Milo put his hand up and was the only one to do so.

'Someone else. Mmm…'

The class didn't move an inch.

'Nope? Okay, Milo, go for it.'

'Measure the current and PDs in an ammeter and a voltmeter.'

The Wizard and The Doctor watched him carefully. The Doctor started firing questions, though the answer came right back.

'Two to Milo. Right then, Milo, tell me this. True or False. The greater the dampening of the system, the quicker it loses energy to its surroundings.'

'False.'

'What is non-coding DNA?' 

'DNA that doesn't code for a protein.' 

'Sixty five thousand nine hundred and eighty three times five?' 

'Three hundred and twenty nine thousand nine hundred and fifteen.' 

The Doctor glanced at The Wizard. 'How do you travel faster than light?' 

'By opening a quantum tunnel with an FTL factor of thirty six point seven recurring.' 

The Doctor lets his jaw drop and The Wizard looked at him in surprise.

'O-o-o-kay…,' she said, frowning at the boy in the second row.

They went down the line in the cafeteria and grinned at one particular lady as she served them mashed potatoes. It was The Wizard who was sympathetic and The Doctor who found it funny when Rose looked at them crossly. She came over to their table later and began to clean their it, really looking for an excuse to vent at The (far too chirpy) Doctor.

'Two days.' 

'Sorry, could you just? There's a bit of gravy.' The Doctor teased.

Rose adjusted where she was wiping.

'No, no, just, just there.'

The Wizard kicked him under the table.

'Ow!' 

'Two days, we've been here,' Rose complained, looking like her life energy was drained. 

'Blame your boyfriend. He's the one who put us onto this. And he was right. Boy in class this morning, got a knowledge way beyond planet Earth.'

'Or humans,' added The Wizard. 

'You eating those chips?'

'Knowledge beyond your species' comprehension and you're asking about chips?' said The

Wizard.

'Yes. Are you going to eat them?' Rose took one from The Wizard's plate.

The Doctor looked down at his plate and frowned. 'Yeah, they're a bit different.' 

'I think they're gorgeous. Wish I had school dinners like this.' She sat down between the two at the end of the table. 

'It's very well behaved, this place,' said The Doctor, looking round, 'I thought there'd be happy slapping hoodies. Happy slapping hoodies with ASBOs. Happy Slapping hoodies with ASBOs and ringtones, eh? Oh yeah, don't tell me I don't fit in.'

'I wasn't going to mention it,' said The Wizard, inspecting a chip. She shrugged and passed it to Rose.

A dinner lady came over, looking cross. 'You are not permitted to leave your station during a sitting.'

Rose quickly stood up. 'I was just talking to this teacher.'

'Hello!' The Doctor put a very happy, cheerful face on.

"Not helping!" The Wizard mouthed at him.

'He doesn't like the chips,' said Rose.

The dinner lady looked down at him crossly. 'The menu has been specifically designed by the Headmaster to improve concentration and performance.'

'What, by serving _chips_?' The Wizard muttered.

The Doctor's eyes quickly floated to hers and they raised an eyebrow at each other.

'Now get back to work!' The lady walked off.

Rose looked crestfallen and sighed as she left. 'See? This is me! Dinner Lady!'

'I'll have the crumble!' The Doctor called after her.

The Wizard laughed.

'I'm so going to kill you. Both of you!' Rose called back.

'Melissa.'

The Doctor and The Wizard turned their heads to look a couple of tables across at a tall teacher who had approached a table. 'You'll be joining my class for the next period. Milo's failed me, so it's time we moved you up to the top class.'

' _Milo's_ failed him?' The Wizard said. The Doctor raised his eyebrows back at her.

'Kenny, not eating the chips?' 

'I'm not allowed.' 

'Luke. Extra class. Now.'

The teacher walked off and The Doctor and The Wizard watched him, Melissa and Luke leave the table in surprise. Then they notice the headmaster standing on the balcony above and watched as looked down, with pride and superiority. 

The Wizard was perched on a table in the staff room passing The Doctor biscuits as they talked to another teacher.

'Yesterday, I had a twelve year old girl give me the exact height of the Walls of Troy in cubits.'

'And it's ever since the new headmaster arrived?'

Listening carefully, The Wizard ruffled through the biscuit tin.

'Finch arrived three months ago. Next day half the staff got flu. Finch replaced them with that lot.' He nodded to a few teachers chatting near some blue chairs. 'Except for the teacher you replaced and that was just plain weird, her winning the lottery like that.'

'How's that weird?' The Wizard asked, passing The Doctor another biscuit.

'She never played. Said the ticket was posted through her door at midnight.' The teacher walked away.

'Hmm,' The Doctor ate another biscuit. 'The world is very strange.' 

'Excuse me, colleagues. A moment of your time.'

The Wizard and The Doctor did a double take when they saw Finch in the doorway, accompanied by someone they never thought they'd see.

'May I introduce Miss Sarah Jane Smith.'

The Doctor's face mirrored The Wizard's as they looked at her in wonder.

'Miss Smith is a journalist who's writing a profile about _me_ for the Sunday Times.' He smiled around the room. 'I thought it might be useful for her to get a view from the trenches, so to speak. Don't spare my blushes.'

When Finch left Sarah Jane saw the kind looks on the two's faces and came toward them. 

'Hello.'

'Oh, I should think so.' He was trying not to beam and scare her off.

'How do you do, Miss Smith?' winked The Wizard, using the words she and The Doctor had used when they first met her. 

'And, you are?

'Hm? Er…,'

'Smith, he's John Smith,' said The Wizard, knowing The Doctor was having trouble, 'and I'm his sister, Emily Smith.'

'John and Emily Smith. I used to have friends who sometimes went by that name.

'Well, it's a very common name.'

'They were very uncommon people. Nice to meet you.' She held out her hand. 

The Doctor shook it happily and beamed. 'Nice to meet you. Yes, very nice. More than nice.

Brilliant.'

The Wizard was beaming as well as she shook Sarah's hand. 

Sarah looked around when she had finished shaking The Wizard's hand. 'Er, so, er, have you worked here long?' 

'No. Er, it's only our second day.' 

'Oh, you're new, then.' She looked around and sidled closer to them. 'So, what do you think of the school? I mean, this new curriculum? So many children getting ill. Doesn't that strike you as odd?' 

'You don't sound like someone just doing a profile,' said The Wizard. 

'Well, no harm in a little investigation while I'm here,' she said, smiling and walked away. 

'No. Good for you. Good for you. Oh, good for you, Sarah Jane Smith.' The Doctor said.

When she was out of sight, The Doctor immediately turned to The Wizard and they grabbed each other by the forearms and jumped up and down excitedly.

'Evening, Mickey, ready to get this show on the road?'

'Breaking _into_ school? Now that's something I don't want to miss.'

'Right then, off we go,' said The Wizard and pulled the lever of the Tardis.

They materialised and hopped outside.

When they were walking through the dark corridors, Rose grinned. 

'Ohoo, it's we-i-rd seeing school at night. It just feels wrong. When I was a kid, I used to think all the teachers slept in school.'

The Wizard chuckled as The Doctor turned around by a staircase. 

'All right, team. Oh, I hate people who say team. Erm, gang… Er…, comrades. Er… Anyway, Rose, go to the kitchen. Get a sample of that oil. Mickey, the new staff are all Maths teachers. Go and check out the Maths department. I'm going to look in Finch's office. Wizard?'

'I imagine Sarah Jane will have broken in so I'd better go look for her.'

'Alright, I'll come with you and we'll swing past Finch's office. Be back here in ten minutes.'

The Doctor and The Wizard took the stairs two at a time. The corridor was quiet until they heard a screeching sound. They paused for a moment, then went down the corridor at a quicker pace.

They saw Sarah Jane run across the corridor up ahead and without a word, changed their direction. They knew she'd find the Tardis. 

Sure enough, she backed out of the storeroom a minute later into the music hall and turned around to see them standing side by side.

'Hello, Sarah Jane.' 

'It's you! Oh, Doctor… Wizard… Oh, my God, it's you, isn't it?' She pointed at them. 'You've regenerated.'

'Yeah-.' 

'-Yeah. Half a dozen times since we last met.' 

'You look… incredible!' 

'So do you,' they replied. 

'Huh. I got old,' she took a step to the left. 'What are you doing here?' 

'Well…'

'UFO sighting, school gets record results. We couldn't resist. What about you?' 

She smiled. 'The same.'

All three laughed and suddenly Sarah grew sad.

'I thought you'd died! I waited for you and you didn't come back, and I thought you must have died!'

The Wizard held out and arm and Sarah ran into it, hugging her. 

The Doctor sighed. 'We lived. Everyone else died.' 

Sarah stood back and held The Wizard's hand. 'What do you mean?' 

'Everyone died, Sarah.' 

She shut her eyes and shook her head. 'I can't believe it's you.'

A scream immediately followed that, coming from behind The Timelords. 

'Okay,' said Sarah as The Doctor and The Wizard turned back to look at her, 'now I can!'

The Doctor took Sarah's other hand. They smiled and ran out of the hall and nearly into Rose 

'Did you hear that?' Rose noticed Sarah. 'Who's she?' 

'Rose, Sarah Jane. Sarah Jane, Rose.' The Doctor was happy and hadn't considered that things might go the other way. 

'Hi. Nice to meet you.' Sarah Jane took her hand from The Doctor and shook Rose's. 'You can tell you're getting older. Your assistants are getting younger.' 

'I'm not their assistant!' 

'No? Get you, tiger.'

The Wizard snorted as The Doctor rubbed the back of his head, gestured forward and left them behind. They made to follow but The Wizard, still holding Sarah's hand, grabbed Rose's.

'Right. I hate it when this happens. Rose, Sarah Jane is a very old and very close friend of ours, she travelled with us in the days before the Time War. And no, you're not our assistant, you're a companion. Sometimes people call you assistants. Sarah, this is Rose, our companion. She's completely brilliant. Sarah is an investigative journalist and Rose… well… she _was_ employed, but then The Doctor and I blew up where she worked. Long story. Please don't fight, you're both lovely and fantastic and a no worse companion the other.'

They nodded at each other and shook hands again, this time lighter hearted. Then The Wizard took Rose's hand with her other and they ran after The Doctor, all grinning. They caught up just as he found the source of the noise. Mickey, surrounded by small bags.

'Sorry! Sorry, it was only me. You told me to investigate, so I started looking through some of these cupboards and all of these fell on me.'

The Doctor and The Wizard bent down to pick one up. 

'Oh, my God, they're rats,' said Rose. 'Dozens of rats. Vacuum packed rats.' 

'And you decided to scream,' said The Doctor, standing up again and looking at Mickey. 

'It took me by surprise!' 

'Like a little girl?' 

'It was dark! I was covered in rats!' 

'Nine, maybe ten years old. I'm seeing pigtails, frilly skirt.'

'Pink,' added The Wizard. 

'Hello, can we focus?' Rose said. 'Does anyone notice anything strange about this? Rats in school?' 

'Well, perhaps they use them in Biology lessons to dissect them,' said Sarah.

'Not many schools dissect rats anymore,' replied Rose, motioning for The Wizard to pass her one, 'but I can't see what else they'd be used for.' 

'Everything started when Mister Finch arrived,' said The Doctor in thought. 'We should go and check his office.'

'Good idea,' said Rose and Sarah. They smiled at each other and The Wizard was happy.

'Maybe those rats were food,' said The Doctor as they reached the office. He pointed his sonic screwdriver at the lock.

'Food for what?' asked Rose from behind The Wizard.

'Rose, you know you used to think all the teachers slept in the school?' said The Doctor as he and The Wizard stepped in so the others could look, 'Well, they do.'

Hanging upside down were large, bat-like creatures. Mickey took one look at them and ran; 

'No way!' 

Rose and Sarah dashed after him and The Doctor and The Wizard quietly closed the door. They caught up with the others outside.

'I am _not_ going back in there. No way.'

'Those were teachers,' panted Rose. 

'When Finch arrived, he brought with him seven new teachers, four dinner ladies and a nurse. Thirteen. Thirteen big bat people. Come on.' The Doctor, unfazed, turned to go back inside.

'Come on? You've got to be kidding!' Mickey stayed put as the others moved.

'We need the Tardis. We've got to analyse that oil from the kitchen.'

'I might be able to help you there. I've got something to show you.' Beaming, Sarah took their arms and led them to her car.

The second the door opened The Wizard took off the blanket from the thing in Sarah's boot. She and The Doctor beamed.

'K9!' they chorused.

'Rose Tyler, Mickey Smith, allow me to introduce K9. Well, K9 Mark Three to be precise.' The Doctor watched The Wizard as she fiddled with some wires, already looking at repairs.

'Why does he look so disco?' asked Rose. 

'Oi!' said The Doctor as he, The Wizard and Sarah glared at Rose, 'Listen, in the year five thousand, this was cutting edge. What's happened to him?'

'Oh, one day, he just, nothing.' Sarah shrugged.

'Well, didn't you try and get him repaired?' The Doctor asked, whining.

The Wizard tutted.

'Well, it's not like getting parts for a Mini Metro, besides, the technology inside him could rewrite human science. I couldn't show him to anyone!'

'Ooh,' cooed The Doctor, 'what's the nasty lady done to you, eh?' He rubbed K9's ears.

'What's she done?' The Wizard joined in.

Mickey raised an eyebrow.

'Look, no offence, but could you two just stop petting for a minute? Never mind the tin dog. We're busy.'

The Wizard shot Rose an annoyed look and with reluctance she and The Doctor shut the boot.

They went to a coffee shop and immediately The Wizard and The Doctor started working on K9. Rose and Mickey went to order and Sarah sat with the Timelords.

Happily they worked, laughing.

'I thought of you on Christmas Day. This Christmas just gone? Great big spaceship overhead. I thought, oh yeah, bet he's up there.'

'Right on top of it, yeah.'

'He'd just regenerated.'

'And you, Wizard?' 

'I was there, too. He lost his hand and grew another.'

Sarah laughed. A moment later she became quiet again. 'Did I do something wrong, because you never came back for me. You just dumped me.'

The Doctor stopped working and The Wizard put down her tea.

'We told you. We were called back home and in those days humans weren't allowed.'

'I waited for you. I missed you.'

'Oh, you didn't need us! You were getting on with your life.'

The Wizard sighed.

'You were my life. You know what the most difficult thing was? Coping with what happens next, or with what doesn't happen next. You took me to the furthest reaches of the galaxy, you showed me supernovas, intergalactic battles, and then you just… dropped me back on Earth. How could anything compare to that?'

'All those things you saw, do you want me to apologise for that?' The Doctor asked, confused.

'No!, but we get a taste of that splendour and then we have to go back.'

'Look at you, you're investigating!' The Doctor smiled, 'You found that school. You're doing what we always did.'

'You could have come back.' 

The Doctor stopped smiling and The Wizard's eyes went grey. Sarah noticed. 'We couldn't.'

'Why not?'

The Doctor turned his sonic back on and continued working on K9. The Wizard sighed and picked up her tea again.

'You deserve to know, Sarah,' she sighed. 'It got a bit hectic when we went back to Gallifrey. People that travel with us, they fade. We didn't want your life to be used up on us, when you had so much to do.'

Sarah nods. 'It wasn't Croydon. Where you dropped me off, that wasn't Croydon.'

'Where was it?' asked The Doctor.

'Aberdeen.'

'I told you!' exclaimed The Wizard, 'I bloody told you so!'

'Right. That's next to Croydon, isn't it?'

'Ugh.' The Wizard laughed and let her head fall to the table.

K9 whirred and his eyes lit up. The Doctor and The Wizard leapt to their feet. 

'Oh, hey. Now we're in business.'

'Master. Mistress.'

'He recognises us!'

'Affirmative.'

The Wizard cooed and patted him.

'Rose, give us the oil.'

Rose passed The Doctor the oil in a small container. 'I wouldn't touch it, though. That dinner lady got all scorched.'

'I'm no dinner lady. And I don't often say that.'

The Wizard laughed as The Doctor put the oil onto K9's probe.

'Here we go. Come on, boy. Here we go.'

'Oil. Ex ex ex extract. Ana ana analysing.'

'Listen to him, man. That's a voice.' Mickey was laughing.

The Wizard elbowed him and Sarah and The Doctor glared.

'Careful. That's my dog.'

'Confirmation of analysis. Substance is Krillitane Oil.'

'Ah,' said The Wizard.

'They're Krillitanes.'

'Is that bad?' Rose asked. 

'Very. Think of how bad things could possibly be, and add another suitcase full of bad.'

'And what are Krillitanes?' Sarah asked.

'They're a composite race. Just like your culture is a mixture of traditions from all sorts of countries, people you've invaded or have been invaded by. You've got bits of Viking, bits of France, bits of whatever. The Krillitanes are the same. An amalgam of the races they've conquered. But they take physical aspects as well. They cherry pick the best bits from the people they destroy. That's why I didn't recognise them. The last time I saw Krillitanes, they looked just like us except they had really long necks.'

'Like Kaminoans from Star Wars,' The Wizard said.

'What're they doing here?' Rose asked, nervous.

'It's the children. They're doing something to the children.'

'We need to come up with a plan. Let's get K9 back into the car and we can think things through,' said The Wizard.

'Good idea.' The Doctor picked up K9 and passed him to The Wizard and they walked out. Sarah took K9 from The Wizard after she'd opened the boot and The Wizard went back to The Doctor.

Rose was rounding on him. 'How many of us have there been travelling with you?'

'Does it matter?' The Doctor looked uneasy.

'Yeah, it does, if I'm just the latest in a long line.'

'As opposed to what?'

'We're over 900 years old, did you expect to be the first?' The Wizard asked.

Rose stopped and looked at The Doctor. 'I thought you and me were. I obviously got it wrong.' She looked at both of them. 'I've been to the year five billion, right, but this? Now this is really seeing the future. You just leave us behind. Is that what you're going to do to me?'

'No. Not to you.'

'Rose, we never leave people behind if we can help it.'

'But Sarah Jane? You were that close to her once, and now you never even _mention_ her. Why not?'

'We don't age. We regenerate. But humans decay. You wither and you die. Imagine watching that happen to someone who you…'

'What, Doctor?'

The Wizard spoke. 'We _travel_ with you, Rose, all of you. We watch as you grow older little by little until finally we have to leave you behind. The Doctor's right. You wither and die. Imagine it from our point of view.'

The Doctor drew in breath. 'You can spend the rest of your life with us, but we can't spend the rest of ours with you. We have to live on. Alone. That's the curse of the Time Lords.'

'Because there's none left.' The Wizard's eyes were grey again.

Suddenly a Krillitane swooped down over them. The Doctor and The Wizard pulled the other three down. It flew over Sarah and The Wizard put herself over her.

'Was that a Krilliatane?'

'Yes.' The Wizard stood up.

'But it didn't even touch her. It just flew off. What did it do that for?' Rose breathed.

'We'll find out soon enough.'

The next morning they got out of the car at the school and The Doctor said the plan.

'Rose and Sarah, you go to the Maths room. Crack open those computers, I need to see the hardware inside. Here, you might need this.' He passed his screwdriver to the closest of the two; Sarah. 'Mickey, surveillance. I want you outside.'

'Just stand outside?' He stopped walking.

Sarah turned back. 'Here, take these you can keep K9 company.' She threw him her car keys.

'Don't forget to leave the window open a crack!' calls The Doctor.

'But he's metal!'

'I didn't mean for him,' The Doctor replies, like Mickey's thick.

'What're you going to do?' Rose asks The Timelords. 

'It's time we had a word with Mister Finch.'

They found him at the swimming pool and stood at opposite ends.

'Who are you?' asked The Doctor.

'My name is Brother Lassa. And you?'

'The Doctor, this is The Wizard. Since when did Krillitanes have wings?'

'It's been our form for nearly ten generations now. Our ancestors invaded Bessan. The people there had some rather lovely wings. They made a million widows in one day. Just imagine.'

'And now you're shaped human.'

'A personal favourite, that's all.'

'Can't imagine why,' said The Wizard. The Doctor nearly laughed.

'And the others?'

'My brothers remain bat form. What you see is a simple morphic illusion. Scratch the surface and the true Krillitane lies beneath. And what of the Time Lords? I always thought of you as such a pompous race.' They began walking to the end of the pool.

The Wizard's eyes narrowed.

'Ancient, dusty senators, so frightened of change and chaos.'

Her teeth gritted.

'And of course, they're all but extinct. Only you. The last.'

'This plan of yours,' said The Doctor, 'What is it?'

'Do tell,' The Wizard said, slightly menacingly.

'You don't know.'

'That's why we're asking,' The Doctor said plainly.

'Well, show me how clever you are. Work it out.' They stopped a few metres from each other.

'If we don't like it, then it will stop.'

'Fascinating. Your people were peaceful to the point of indolence.'

'We were changed,' said The Wizard bluntly.

'Would you declare war on us, Doctor, Wizard?'

'We're so old now. We used to have so much mercy. You get one warning. That was it.' The Doctor turned and started walking. The Wizard stayed.

'But we're not even enemies. Soon you will embrace us.' The Doctor stopped and turned to frown at Finch. 'The next time we meet, you will join with me.'

The Wizard raised her eyebrows and walked away.

'I promise you.'

'It's not working,' Sarah sighed. 

'Give it to me. The Doctor changed it a bit the other week, it's being silly.' Rose hit the sonic onto her palm.

'Is The Wizard's still pristine and perfect?' asked Sarah.

'Yeah,' Rose laughed, 'I've always wondered, but never asked, what are all those circles on the casing? Do you know? It looks like her bracelet.'

'Oh, that's not a bracelet,' explained Sarah, 'it's a watch. It's the Timelord circular alphabet. The watch changes as time moves.'

'Do you know what the writing on her sonic says?'

'She told me once, it says "Gallifrey." She said it was a reminder to always visit home.'

Rose looked down. 'The Wizard can seem very distant sometimes.'

'Her eyes go grey,' Sarah said, 'they lose all the blue.'

'It happens sometimes,' Rose said, finally getting The Doctor's sonic working, 'she always looks sad when it does.' Rose paused. 'What was she like when you travelled with her?'

'Well, she had short bright orange hair and loved coffee.'

'She hates coffee now!' Rose laughed, 'she says she's hated it for her last two regenerations.'

Sarah laughed as well. 'Tell me what you've seen, Rose, there's always so much out there.'

Rose stood up as the computer whirred. 'You first.'

'Mummies.' 

Rose raised her eyebrow, impressed. 'Ghosts.' 

'Robots. _Lots_ of robots. Those two are _obsessed_ with robots!' 

Rose laughed. 'Slitheen, in Downing Street.' 

'Sounds fun. Daleks!' 

'You too? I met the Emperor.' 

'You should have seen their creator! Oh, a favorite of mine, Anti-matter monsters.' 

'Gas masked zombies.'

'Really?'

'World War II,' Rose explained. 

'Ahh. Oh, real living dinosaurs.' 

'Real living werewolf.' 

'The Loch Ness Monster!' 

'Seriously?'

Sarah nodded.

Rose looked down for a moment. 'With you, did they do that thing where they'd explain something at like, ninety miles per hour, and you'd go, "what?" and they'd look at you like you'd just dribbled on your shirt?'

'All the time! Their brains are incredible and you feel so small.' Sarah laughed. 'The Tardis is sentient, I know, but does The Doctor still stroke bits?'

'Yeah! Yeah, he does. I'm like, do you two want to be alone? And Wizard, half the time I can't tell if she's talking to me or the Tardis when it's just us in there.'

They laugh again.

'How's it going?' asked The Doctor, as he and The Wizard entered the room.

The two saw him and The Wizard and laughed.

'What? Listen, I need to find out what's programmed inside these-,'

Rose pointed at him and they laughed harder.

'What?'

They reached hysteria and The Doctor looked like a small child. 'Stop it!'

A minute later they'd quietened down and The Doctor had his sonic back. He and The Wizard were fiddling with a computer. 'I can't shift it.'

'I thought the sonic screwdriver could open anything!' Sarah exclaimed, worried.

'Anything except a deadlock seal. There's got to be something inside here. What're they teaching those kids!?'

Suddenly the screens lit up with green and flashed in alien symbols. 

'You wanted the programme? There it is.'

'Some sort of code.' The Doctor looked at it.

'Oh. No, no, no, no, no, no, no…'

The Doctor turned to The Wizard. 'What is it?'

'The Skasis Paradigm.'

'No, no, it can't be.'

'It is.'

'They're trying to crack the Skasis Paradigm?!'

'The Skasis what?' Sarah looked between the two as they stood there in horror.

'The God maker,' said The Wizard.

'The universal theory. Crack that equation and you've got control of the building blocks of the universe. Time and space and matter, yours to control.'

'What, and the kids are like a giant computer?' Rose asked, looking alarmed at how rigid the two had become.

'Yes. And their learning power is being accelerated by the oil.' The Doctor paced around another row of computers. 'That oil from the kitchens, it works as a, as a conducting agent. Makes the kids cleverer.'

'But that oil's on the chips. I've been eating them,' Rose said.

'What's fifty nine times thirty five?'

'Two thousand and sixty five.'

The Doctor and The Wizard gave a "there you are," look.

'Oh, my God.'

'But why use children?' Sarah asked. 'Can't they use adults?'

'No, it's got to be children. The God maker needs imagination to crack it. They're not just using the children's brains to break the code, they're using their souls.'

'Let the lesson begin.'

The Wizard and The Doctor turned to see Finch standing in the doorway. 'Think of it, Doctor, Wizard. With the Paradigm solved, reality becomes clay in our hands. We can shape the universe and improve it.'

'Oh yeah? The whole of creation with the face of Mister Finch? Call me old fashioned, but I like things as they are.'

'Definitely,' agreed The Wizard.

'You act like such radicals, and yet all you want to do is preserve the old order? Think of the changes that could be made if this power was used for good!'

'What, by someone like you?'

'No, someone like _you_. The Paradigm gives us power, but _you_ could give us wisdom. Become Gods at my side. Imagine what you could do. Think of the civilisations you could save. Perganon, Assinta. Your own people, Wizard, Doctor, standing tall. The Time Lords reborn.'

'See that's your mistake,' The Wizard said, 'we're not anything different from them. We do the right thing, we live by our codes. The universe is to be observed and admired, _not_ to be changed! That's what we fought the Time War for.'

To add to the scene, The Doctor threw a chair at the large screen upfront. 'Out!'

'Out, Sarah! Rose!'

They ran from the classroom and into Mickey in the hall. A young boy was with him.

' _What_ is going on?' Mickey asks.

'Run!' The Wizard shouted and they ran from the oncoming Krillitanes into the cafeteria.

'Are they my teachers?' asked the boy. 

'Yeah. Sorry,' said The Doctor.

'Great story for the first day of your next ones,' added The Wizard with a wink as she pulled Sarah behind her.

'We need The Doctor and The Wizard alive. As for the others? You can feast.'

'No you won't.' From inside her bigger on the inside jacket pockets, The Wizard brought out her Gallifreyan sword. 'K9!'

'Affirmative, mistress.' He fired and hit one.

'K9!' shouted Sarah Jane as The Wizard protected her from a swoop.

'Suggest you engage running mode, mistress.'

'Good suggestion,' said The Wizard.

'Come on!' yelled The Doctor, as Finch roared in fury. 'K9, hold them back!'

'Affirmative, master. Maximum defence mode.' 

The Doctor sealed the door with a wave of his sonic and The Wizard was already fiddling with a marker in the physics classroom. Rose understood finally what she was doing when she drew circles in circles; calculations.

'It's the oil.' The Doctor said. 'Krillitane life forms can't handle the oil. That's it! They've changed their physiology so often, even their own oil is toxic to them. How much was there in the kitchens?'

'Barrels of it.'

'Define barrels,' said The Wizard.

'At least five.'

She drew one more circle onto the whiteboard. 'Easily enough.'

The Doctor glanced at the board. 'What did you do that on the board for?' he asked in confusion.

She shrugged, getting ready to open the door as the Krillitanes banged on the other side. 'I needed to fiddle with something.' She ran out of the way of the board before The Doctor could realise what she'd written completely. Only a tiny portion of it was about oil. The rest were time calclations.

'No… what? Wizard…? What are you doing?'

'Don't worry, I'll be fine.'

'As long as you say so. Okay, we need to get to the kitchens. Mickey.'

'What now, hold the coats?'

'Get all the children unplugged and out of the school. Now then, bats, bats, bats. How do we fight bats?'

The fire alarm went off behind them and The Wizard and The Doctor realised the boy had done it.

'Nice work,' congratulated The Wizard. She opened the door. 'Everybody out!'

They ducked and ran underneath the cowering Krillitanes as they recovered from the noise.

When they're away the noise stopped and were outside the canteen when K9 reached them.

'Master.'

'Come on, boy. Good boy.' The Doctor scratched his ears.

Mickey split up from them and they were in the kitchen looking round when The Wizard pulled out her sonic and her Tardis key, not that anyone noticed.

The Doctor used his own sonic on the barrels, but they didn't open. 'They've been deadlock sealed. Finch must've done that. I can't open them.'

'The vats would not withstand a direct hit from my laser, but my batteries are failing,' said K9.

'Right. Everyone out the back door. K9, stay with us.'

The Doctor and The Wizard pulled the barrels around so that K9 could easily shoot them from where he was by the door.

'Capacity for only one shot, Master, Mistress. For maximum impact, I must be stationed directly beside the vat.'

'But you'll be trapped inside.' The Doctor gasps.

'That is correct.'

'I can't let you do that.'

'No alternative possible, Master.'

'Goodbye, old friend.'

'Goodbye, Master. Mistress.'

'You good dog.'

'Affirmative.'

They run out and The Doctor seals the door. Sarah runs to him.

'Where's K9?'

'We need to run.'

'Where is he? What have you done!'

The Doctor looked back and stopped. 'Wizard…'

The Wizard had been right behind him when he ran out of the café.

'She must have gone the other way.' He made to run back in, but this time Sarah held him back. 'No, Doctor. She knows what she's doing.'

The Tardis landed and The Wizard set the destination for the next jump, though she pointed the sonic at the doors to open to stop it from taking off.

'You bad dog.'

'Affirmative.'

That's what The Wizard heard when she opened the Tardis doors, right behind K9. 'K9, get in!'

'Coming, Mistress!'

The second was inside The Wizard shut the door and the Tardis whirred. The Wizard picked up K9 and walked outside. It was the year 1998 in a random park. This would do. She shut the doors and took K9 down into the machine lab in the Tardis.

The Tardis whirred behind the kids, so The Doctor and Sarah didn't hear it.

'I'm sorry.'

'It's all right. He was just a daft metal dog. It's fine, really.'

The Doctor hugged Sarah, but turned his head when he heard boots he recognised.

'Sarah,' came The Wizard's voice.

Sarah looked up from The Doctor's shoulder and gasped. Shiny and spotless, complete circuits was K9.

'Is it _my_ K9?'

The Wizard nodded and held him out.

'You cleaned him up! And he's completely repaired!' Sarah passed K9 to The Doctor and hugged The Wizard. 'Thank you!'

The Doctor grinned. 'I didn't think there was enough time to get to the Tardis to do that,' he said.

'Clearly didn't check my calculations, then,' she replied.

The Wizard landed the Tardis as The Doctor, Mickey and Sarah Jane reached it. They took Sarah's car. K9 and The Wizard stuck their heads out of the doors. The Doctor smiled; The Wizard, against the blue and green background of the garden and Tardis looked very happy. He loved it when she was.

'Cup of tea?'

'Good idea,' said The Wizard and darted back inside. 'Rose, grab cups.'

Mickey went in ahead of The Doctor and Sarah Jane. Rose, who'd went with The Wizard, passed him a cup as The Wizard disappeared down the stairs. She came up again when Sarah came in, carrying a tray.

As she entered, Sarah looked around.

'You've redecorated.' 

'Do you like it?' asked The Doctor and The Wizard in unison.

'Oh, I, I do. Yeah. I preferred it as it was, but er, yeah. It'll do.'

'I love it,' Rose grinned.

'Hey, you! What's… forty seven times three hundred and sixty nine?' Sarah asked Rose.

'No idea. It's gone now. The oil's faded.'

'17,343,' said The Wizard, pouring tea.

'Show off.'

'Can't help it if I'm a Timelord,' she shrugged.

Sarah laughed and turned to Rose again. 'But you're still clever. More than a match for him.' 

'You and me both. Doctor? Wizard?' 

'Um, we're about to head off, but… you could come with us.' The Doctor offered.

Sarah could tell The Wizard knew her answer. She took a cup of tea from the tray. 'No. I can't do this anymore. Besides, I've got a much bigger adventure ahead! Time I stopped waiting for you and found a life of my own.'

The Wizard nodded and gave Sarah Jane a hug. Mickey spoke up a moment later, making Rose's face freeze.

'Can I come?'

Sarah frowned.

'No, not with you, I mean with you. Because I'm not the tin dog, and I want to see what's out there.'

The Wizard blinked in surprise. 'What happened to it being crazy in here, and scary?' she asked.

Mickey chuckled as Rose mouthed, "No," at The Doctor and The Wizard.

'Oh, go on, Doctor. Sarah Jane Smith, a Mickey Smith. You need a Smith on board,' smiled Sarah.

'We certainly do,' said The Wizard, grinning down at Sarah.

'Okay then, I could do with a laugh.'

'Rose, is that okay?' Mickey asked.

Rose was looking down. 'No, great. Why not?'

'Well, I'd better go.' Sarah finished her tea and The Wizard took the cup from her.

Sarah took Rose aside and Rose was panicking. 'What do I do? Do I stay with them?'

'Yes. Some things are worth getting your heart broken for.' Sarah hugged her. 'Find me, if you need to, one day. Find me.'

The Timelords, meanwhile, were reassuring Mickey, The Doctor by being his normal self and teasing him, The Wizard showing him the basic things he'd need to know.

'That,' she said, pointing at a small lever on the console, 'is the light switch. This here,' she pointed to a singular button third from the left on a row, 'is the button you press when you have questions and can't find us, if we're in or out of the Tardis, we'll get the message. Now, don't feel stupid not knowing where anything is, we're used to it. So anything you need help with, you press that button. Last one up here at night is usually The Doctor or I as we sleep less than you do, but if it's you, you turn off the lights.'

Mickey nodded. 'Hey, thanks for letting me come.'

'Not at all,' grinned The Doctor, 'it'll be fun!'

The Wizard glanced behind her as she was unexpectedly pulled into a hug. She took Sarah to the door, The Doctor following them out.

'It's daft, but I haven't ever thanked you for that time. And like I said, I wouldn't have missed it for the world.'

The Wizard leant on the Tardis as K9 came out of the doors. She knelt by him and scratched his ears.

'Something to tell the grandkids,' smiled The Doctor.

'Oh, I think it'll be someone else's grandkids now.'

'Right. Yes, sorry. I didn't get a chance to ask. You haven't…? There hasn't been anyone? You know.'

'Well, there was this one guy. I travelled with him for a while, but he was a tough act to follow. Goodbye, Doctor.' 

'Oh, it's not goodbye.'

'Do say it. Please. This time. Say it.'

'Goodbye, my Sarah Jane.'

The Doctor pulled her into a hug and lifted her off of her feet. When he put her down, The Wizard stood up and he began talking to K9.

'I hate saying goodbye to you,' laughed The Wizard, tears in her eyes.

'Thank you for always saying it,' Sarah replied.

'I'll pop in for tea sometimes,' The Wizard said. She pointed over her shoulder at The Doctor. 'Unlike him I do house calls.'

Sarah's smile lit up. 'Would you?'

'Of course. I can't promise an exact time, but I promise I will.'

'I wasn't sure when you promised me all those years ago that you'd come back,' Sarah said, 'but I know you're going to keep this one.'

The Wizard let a tear fall from her eye. 'You're one of the best, Sarah Jane.'

'If you're crying then you'd better call in on me soon.'

The Wizard laughed. 'Yeah, within a month judging by this,' she gestured to her face and pulled Sarah into a hug, lifting her up like The Doctor had done.

They smiled at her and went back inside the Tardis, winking at K9.

'Oh my goodness, you're _actually_ crying,' said The Doctor.

'Shut up,' laughed The Wizard.

The Doctor laughed and wiped a tear from The Wizard's face, hugging her.

'Ugh, stupid,' she said and squeezed him and let go. 'Right. I'm going to need some tea-,'

Everyone laughed.

'-then we can go on Mickey's first adventure.'


	4. DW 2-5 The Girl in the Fireplace

'Set it to random?' The Wizard asked The Doctor.

'Yeah, why not. Let's see what Mickey gets first time round.'

'Let's just hope it's not the sun exploding.'

'Hey, that was-,'

'I mean, who takes a girl to see her home planet being swallowed up by the thing keeping her warm all of the time?'

'Oh, shut up.'

Rose laughed.

'Right then. Here we go.' The Wizard pulled the lever and they materialised somewhere. The Doctor went to the door and peered out.

'Nope.'

'Doctor!' The Wizard sighed.

'No, next one. Not this one.'

Mickey looked between them.

'Don't you trust the Tardis?'

'I do, but I'm not in the mood for waffles and a hollow planet.'

'Oh, was that the Draconians?'

'Yes.'

'Doctor, they're NOT WAFFLES.'

He just grinned at her as she pulled the lever again. This time The Wizard marched out of the doors. The Doctor followed, then Mickey and finally Rose.

'It's a spaceship,' said Mickey in awe, 'brilliant I got a spaceship on my first go!'

The Wizard smiled.

'Looks kind of abandoned,' said Rose, 'anyone on board?'

'Nah, nothing here. Well… nothing dangerous… well… not that dangerous.'

'Doctor, shut up.'

'Sorry. You know what, I'll just do a quick scan, in case there's anything dangerous.'

'So, what's the date how far have we gone?' asked Rose.

'About 3,000 years into your future, give or take.' The Doctor opened the sky roof with his sonic and they looked up. '51st century. The Dagmar cluster. You're a long way from home, Mickey! Two and a half galaxies!'

'Mickey Smith, meet the universe.' Rose gave him a pat on the back, while The Wizard inspected the walls.

Mickey peered out, mouth open.

'See anything you like?'

'It's so realistic!'

The Wizard laughed and noticed The Doctor pulling things apart. Naturally, she went to stop him.

'Dear me we've had some cowboys in here.'

'You mean you?' she quipped, standing beside him and looking at the mess he was creating.

'No,' he said like a child, 'Not me! Look, there's a ton of repair work going on.'

Mickey and Rose went over and The Doctor looked at a screen.

'Now that's odd, look at that. All the warp engines are going.'

'Why?' The Wizard asked, looking round.

'Full capacity,' added The Doctor. 'There's enough power in this ship to punch a hole in the universe.'

'Ah…' said The Wizard slowly, turning on the balls of her feet.

'What?'

'Hang on, let me think.'

'We're not moving. So where's all that power going?'

'Probably punching a hole in the universe,' said The Wizard.

'And where'd all the crew go?' asked Rose.

The Doctor got distracted from frowning at The Wizard. 'Good question, no life readings on board.'

'Well, we're in deep space, they didn't just nip out for a quick fag.'

'Nope, I've checked all the smoking pods.'

'Sarcasm, Doctor,' The Wizard said, pulling out her sonic and scanning the room.

'Yes, yes I know I know. Can you smell that?'

'Surprised you hadn't earlier,' The Wizard said. The Doctor set her a cheeky glare.

Rose sniffed. 'Yeah, someone's cooking.'

'Sunday roast, definitely!' said Mickey excitedly.

The Doctor pushed a button and a door opened. He and The Wizard ran through and went to opposite ends of the next room.

'Anything your side?' called The Doctor.

'Yeah.' The Wizard lowered her sonic. 'I've found the hole.'

They went through slowly.

A fireplace was sitting in the middle of the wall, burning.

'Well, there's something you don't see on your average spaceship.' The Doctor leapt up a few stairs. '18th century. French. Nice mantel.' He scanned it with his sonic. 'Not a hologram. It's not even a reproduction.'

The Wizard noticed Rose and Mickey looking through the window while she outstretched her sonic again and checked around the ship for radio signals.

'This actually is an 18th century fireplace,' continued The Doctor. 'Double sided. There's another room through there.'

'It can't be,' said Rose, still at the window, 'that's the outer hull of the ship, look!'

'It's a hole in the universe.' The Wizard repeated herself.

'Hello,' said The Doctor. The Wizard span round and crouched next to him to find a girl sitting on the other side behind the flame. 'What's your name?'

'Reinette.'

'Reinette, that's a lovely name.'

Mickey and Rose peered round the edge as well.

'Can you tell me where you are at the moment?' asked The Doctor.

'In my bedroom.'

'And where's your bedroom, where do you live Reinette?'

'Paris, of course.'

'Paris! Right.' The Doctor shook his head.

'Monsieur, Mademoiselle, what are you doing in my fireplace?'

'Oh, just a routine… um…' he looked to The Wizard for help, though she shrugged, 'uh… fire check, can you tell us what year it is?'

'Of course I can. It's 1727.'

'Right, lovely, one of my favourites.'

'Mind you…' said The Wizard, looking him in the eye.

'Oh, yes, August. August is rubbish though, stay indoors. Ok, that's all for now. Thanks for your help. Hope you enjoy the rest of the fire. Nighty night!'

'Good night, monsieur, mademoiselle.'

They stood up.

'You said this was the 51st century,' frowned Mickey.

'I also said this ship was generating enough power to punch a hole in the universe. I think we just found the hole. Must be a patio-temporal hyperlink.'

'What's that?'

The Wizard rolled her eyes. 'Humans,' she sighed.

'No idea, just made it up. Didn't wanna said magic door.'

'Hole in the universe, Doctor, that pretty much sums it up,' The Wizard said. 'And don't confuse the humans, it's very exhausting.'

'And on the other side of the 'magic door' is France in 1727?' asked Rose.

'Well,' said The Doctor, 'she was speaking French. Right period French, too.'

'But you were speaking English,' protested Mickey, 'I heard it.'

'That's the Tardis, it translates for ya,' explained Rose.

'Even French?'

The Wizard laughed.

'Yep.'

'Even French.' The Wizard clapped a hand onto Mickey's shoulder as she walked past. 'It comes from The Doctor and I; we speak every language.'

Before Mickey could ask another question, she and The Doctor walked back to the fireplace, feeling around the wood.

'Gotcha!'

The Doctor pulled a lever and the fireplace started turning, taking the two Timelords with it.

'Doctor, Wizard!' shouted Rose as they disappeared.

The room was dark and Reinette was sleeping in her bed. The Doctor watched her while The Wizard looked around. He then crossed the room and joined her. The ticking of a large, loud, clock echoed through the room.

'That ticking is annoying,' The Wizard said. She saw the clock. It was smashed. 'Ah.'

'What?'

She nodded to it.

'Oh.'

Reinette woke up and gasped. The two ran to her, either side of the bed.

'It's okay! Don't scream!'

'Remember him?'

'It's me! It's us! Fireplace man! Look!'

The Doctor pulled out his sonic and ignited the candle.

'We were talking, just a moment ago.'

The Wizard frowned at Reinette's face.

'I was in your fireplace.'

'Monsieur, that was weeks ago! That was months!'

'Really? Oh.'

He went to the fireplace and knocked on the wood, putting his ear to it. 'Must be a loose connection.'

'One explanation,' The Wizard muttered quietly.

'Need to get a man in.'

'Who are you? And what are you doing here?'

The Doctor remembered the clock. 'Okay that's scary.'

'You're scared of a broken clock?'

'Not exactly, Reinette,' The Wizard said soothingly, 'but think.'

'Why?'

'Just a bit scared, yeah,' The Doctor had only been half listening to them, 'just a little tiny bit. Cause you see, if this clock's broken, and it's the only clock in the room, then what's that sound?'

They looked around.

'See, cause that's not a clock. You can tell by the resonance. Too big.'

The Timelords leant forward a little and strained their ears.

'Six feet, I'd say. Wizard?'

'Mm. Human adult height.'

'Mm. Size of a man.'

'What is it?' asked Reinette fearfully.

'Now, let's think. If you were a thing that ticks and you were hiding in someone's bedroom, the first thing you'd do is break the clock. No one notices the sound of one clock ticking, but two? You might start to wonder if you're really alone.'

Reinette looked terrified so The Wizard sat on the bed next to her. There was a small winding sound.

'Stay on the bed,' said The Doctor, crouching, 'right in the middle. Don't put your hands or feet over the edge.'

The winding sound happened again and The Wizard held out her sonic screwdriver. Reinette shuffled her hands under the blanket and The Wizard put a hand on her arm, though stayed ready to strike. The Doctor got down on all fours slowly and peered under the bed. The Wizard tensed when she heard the sonic. Knowing his luck, something would jump out. And it did. The Doctor was pushed over. The Wizard leapt off the bed and hauled him up quickly. Instantly he dove down on the floor again and The Wizard hit him in the back of the head.

'Ouch, what?'

'Doctor, it's up here.' She kept her vision locked onto the masked clock. Dressed like a French aristocrat and ticking like an old clock.

'Oh.' The Doctor saw the shoes and stood slowly.

'Reinette, don't look round. You, stay exactly where you are.' The Doctor glanced at the now upright ticking masked "thing" and Reinette. 'Hold still, let me look.'

He cupped her head in his hands without any further explanation. He then looked at the clock in outrage. 'You've been scanning her brain! What, you've crossed two galaxies and thousands of years just to scan a child's brain?! What could there be in a little girl's mind worth blowing a hole in the universe?'

'Like hell you're going to get a straightforward answer.'

And The Wizard was right. It didn't move.

'I don't understand,' said Reinette, 'it wants me?' She looked round at it.

'Not yet, you are incomplete.' It was a typical robot voice.

'What? Ideas, Doctor?'

'Incomplete, what does that mean? Incomplete?'

Silence.

'You can answer her, you can answer me, what do you mean INCOMPLETE?'

The thing turned and marched round to The Doctor, extended its arm and out drew a sword of some sort. In a flash, out went The Wizard's own.

'Mademoiselle, be careful!'

'Just a nightmare, Reinette, don't worry about it. Everyone has nightmares.' The Doctor, looking quite relaxed, moved to the fireplace.

The robot advanced forward and The Doctor backed further up, The Wizard in front of him and ready to strike.

'Even monsters under the bed have nightmares, don't you, monster?'

The Doctor jumped out of the way from where he was backed against the fireplace and the robot's sword got stuck, which means the arm was as well.

'What do monsters have nightmares about?' the girl asked, still on the bed.

'Us! Ha!' said The Doctor and turned the fireplace round.

'Oi!' The Wizard shouted.

'Oh, sorry!' The fireplace pauses and she stepped on.

'We'll see more of you, Reinette!'

She managed a wave before they were facing Rose and Mickey.

'Doctor!'

'Wizard!'

He ran over and got a fire extinguisher, using it all to cover the robot, which became frozen in place.

'Excellent, ice gun!' Mickey said.

The Doctor tossed it at Rose. 'Fire extinguisher.'

'Where did that thing went from?' Rose readjusted her position.

'Here.'

'So why?' asked Mickey.

'Field trip to France, some kind of basic camouflage protocol, nice needlework. Shame about the face.' The Doctor pulls the mask off to reveal a robot made from a metal like brass or gold, sealed in a glass faceplate. 'Oh, you are beautiful! No, really, you are! You're gorgeous, look at it!'

'Doctor, zen.' The Wizard said, watching him.

'But look at it!'

'Doctor!'

'Sorry Wizard. Look at it, though! Space age clockwork, I LOVE it, I've got chills! Literally, seriously. I mean this from the heart and, by the way, count those, it would be a crime, it would be an act of vandalism to disassemble you, but that won't stop me.' He held up his sonic.

The robot then pressed its wrist and disappeared.

'Oh, nice going, Doctor,' The Wizard said, voice holding only a tease.

'Shut up!'

'Why can't you ever just get on with it?'

'Sorry, sorry! Anyway, short range teleport, can't have gone far. Could still be on board.'

'What is it?' asked Rose.

'DON'T go looking for it.'

'You know we don't have insurance, you don't have to warn them,' The Wizard said.

'Where are you going?' asked Rose.

'Back in a sec.'

They went round the fireplace again.

'Daytime. Her room's nice in the day as well.'

'Yep. Reinette? Just checking you're okay.' The Doctor noticed a harp.

'Don't-,' but he'd already started plucking it.

The Wizard turned and frowned. The Doctor turned when she coughed pointedly. There was a young woman standing in the doorway.

'Oh. Hello… um… I was just looking for Reinette.'

'Sorry,' The Wizard mouthed at her and mimed The Doctor being rather slow.

'Er, this is still her room, isn't it? I've been away. Not sure how long.'

The Wizard face-palmed.

'Reinette,' called a voice from further in the house, 'we're ready to go!'

'Go to the carriage, mother, I will join you there!' called Reinette.

Comprehension dawned on The Doctor's face.

'Idiot,' muttered The Wizard.

'It is customary I think to have imaginary friends only during one's childhood. You are to be congratulated on your persistence.'

'Reinette. Well! Goodness how you've grown.'

'And you two do not appear to have aged a single day! That is tremendously impolite of you.' Reinette was standing in front of them.

'Right… yes… sorry…'

'It's kind of hard to explain,' The Wizard said, smiling.

'Um… um…'

'You okay there Doctor?' the other Timelord teased.

'Um… um… listen, lovely to catch up but better be off, eh? Don't want your mother finding you up here with a strange man do we?'

'Never stopped you before.'

'Shut up Wizard!'

The Wizard tilted her head in a "just saying," way.

'Strange? How could you be a stranger to me? I've known you since I was seven years old.'

'Yeah… I s'pose you have.'

The Wizard was not helping The Doctor out of this one.

'Ha, I came the quick route.'

Reinette put a hand on The Doctor's cheek and The Wizard doubled over for a second, trying not to laugh.

'Well you seem to be flesh and blood at any rate, but this is absurd. Reason tells me you cannot be real.'

'Oh… you never want to listen to reason.'

'And you can take that from him.'

The Doctor sent The Wizard another cheeky glare and she shrugged innocently.

'Mademoiselle? Your mother grows impatient!' called another voice.

'A moment!' called Reinette, exasperatedly. 'So many questions. So little time.' She pulled The Doctor's head down and kissed him. His eyes widened as he was pushed backwards and The Wizard closed her eyes; trying to hold in her laughter. Or at least keep it silent. She slowly edged toward the fireplace, knowing full well they wouldn't be there much longer with Reinette's mother being so impatient.

'Mademoiselle Poisson!'

Reinette finished the kiss and dashes off. The Doctor looked so dazed The Wizard went over and supported him, chuckling sympathetically.

'What is it with you?'

'I… don't know.'

A man hurried in and The Wizard put her hand on the lever on the fireplace.

'Poisson…' echoed The Doctor, his brain starting to slowly kick in. 'Reinette Poisson. No! No, no, no, no way! Reinette Poisson?' The Doctor ran up to the man. 'Later Madame E'toiles? Later still, mistress of Louis XV? Uncrowned Queen of France! Actress, artist, musician, dancer, courtesan! FanTASTIC gardener!' The Doctor laughed like an idiot and rested on the fireplace.

'Who the hell are you?!'

'I'm The Doctor. And I just snogged Madame de Pompadour!'

'And I'm The Wizard!' she pulled the lever.

'Rose?' called The Doctor when they were around. The two were nowhere to be seen. 'Mickey? Everyt- EVERYTIME! It's rule one; don't wander off!'

'There's a reason it's rule one.'

'I tell, them, I do! Rule one-'

'Doctor you don't think-,'

'There could be anything on this ship!'

They went round a corner and came face to face with a horse.

'Ooo, hello,' The Wizard spoke, 'aren't you a pretty boy?'

'A horse?'

'God knows what year it's from.'

'Go on, boy.'

'Can't we just-,'

'No! Now go on!' The Wizard walked happily in front, The Doctor looking at the horse.

'Rose?' He called, following The Wizard. Behind him, follows the horse. 'What are you doing?' He held a hand out to stop the horse. 'Will you stop following me? I'm not your mother.'

The Wizard laughed heartily, clapped him on the shoulder and kept walking, right through another time window, into a large, incredibly large, garden around a large mansion. It was green and The Doctor smelt it.

'So this is where you came from, eh, horsey?'

' _Horsey_?' echoed The Wizard.

'Shut up,' he muttered back.

'Versailles gardens. Always meant to visit again,' said The Wizard, looking round, 'Oh, there's Reinette?'

'It is!'

She and a friend were talking as they walked over the grass, laughing.

They watched from behind a wall. From nearby a peacock called. The Doctor ducked down without a thought, hiding. The Wizard followed him.

'Why are we hiding?' whispered The Wizard.

'I…' The Doctor frowned. 'I don't know.'

'Brilliant.' The Wizard stood up.

'Oh, Catherine, you are too wicked.'

'Oh, speaking of wicked, I hear Madame de Chateauroux is ill and close to death.'

'Yes. I am devastated.'

'Oh, indeed. I myself am frequently inconsolable. The King will therefore be requiring a new mistress. You love the King, of course?'

The Timelords grinned.

'He is the King, and I love him with all my heart. And I look forward to meeting him.'

The peacock called again and The Doctor pulled The Wizard down as Reinette turned again. The Wizard tutted.

'Is something wrong, my dear?'

'Not wrong, no.'

'Every woman in Paris knows your ambitions.'

'Every woman in Paris shares them.'

'You know of course that the King is to attend the Yew Tree ball?'

'As am I.'

They chuckled and The Doctor tugged on The Wizard's coat, pulling her back through the door into the ship. The horse was waiting for them.

A few minutes later they found Rose and Mickey, watching through a window to France. A rich, well dressed man entered the room.

'Blimey, look at this guy,' said Mickey. 'Who does he think he is?'

'The King of France,' said The Doctor, announcing their return.

'Oh, here's trouble. What you been up to?' Rose grinned.

'Well…,' The Wizard said.

'Oh, this and that. Became the imaginary friends of a future French aristocrat, picked a fight with a clockwork man.'

The horse neighed behind them. The Wizard laughed.

'Oh, and we met a horse.'

'What's a horse doing on a spaceship?' asked Mickey as the horse stood beside them.

'Mickey, what's pre-Revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective. See these? They're all over the place. On every deck. Gateways to history. But not just any old history.'

'One person's,' added The Wizard, as they watched Reinette enter the room.

'Hers. Time windows deliberately arranged along the life of one particular woman. A spaceship from the fifty first century stalking a woman from the eighteenth. Why?'

'Why indeed, Doctor.'

'Who is she?' asked Rose.

'Jeanne-Antoinette Poisson, known to her friends as Reinette. One of the most accomplished women who ever lived.'

'And we're a few thousand years in the future.'

'So has she got plans of being the Queen, then?' Rose watched as the two talked in the brightly lit room.

'No, he's already got a Queen. She's got plans of being his mistress.'

'Oh, I get it. Camilla.'

Mickey laughed.

'I think this is the night they met. The night of the Yew Tree ball. In no time flat, she'll get herself established as his official mistress, with her own rooms at the palace. Even her own title. Madame de Pompadour.'

Reinette was left in the room alone and she checked her appearance in the mirror, standing right in front of them. 'The Queen must have loved her.'

'Oh, she did. They get on very well.' The Doctor said conversationally.

'The King's wife and the King's girlfriend?' Mickey said, looking at the Timelords.

'France,' The Doctor shrugged. 'It's a different planet.'

'And that's saying something coming from us,' nodded The Wizard. Then she frowned. 'Doctor… there's someone at the back of the room.'

A moment later Reinette turned and spoke to it. The Wizard took a fire extinguisher from Mickey and shoved The Doctor out of the way. He noticed, as it turned, that it was an android.

'Hello, Reinette. Hasn't time flown?'

'Fireplace people!'

The Wizard covered the android with the extinguisher and passed it to The Doctor, who threw it back to Mickey. The android creaked and Mickey raised the extinguisher again.

'What's it doing?'

'Switching back on. Melting the ice.'

'Handy little trick,' grumbled The Wizard, fiddling with its wrist, trying to disable the teleport.

'And then what?'

'Then it kills everyone in the room.'

It extended a hand and The Doctor stepped back calmly.

'Focuses the mind, doesn't it? Who are you? Identify yourself.'

'…'

The Doctor turned to Reinette, 'Order it to answer us.'

'Why should it listen to me?'

'I don't know. It did when you were a child. Let's see if you've still got it.'

'E… Answer his question. Answer any and all questions put to you.'

'I am repair droid seven.'

'What happened to the ship, then? There was a lot of damage.'

'Ion storm. Eighty two percent systems failure.'

'That ship hasn't moved in over a year. What's taken you so long?'

'We did not have the parts.'

The Wizard sighed quietly.

Mickey laughed. 'Always comes down to that, doesn't it? The parts.'

'Yes, it does,' smiled The Wizard, though Rose and Mickey noticed she looked sad.

'What's happened to the crew? Where are they?'

'We did not have the parts.'

'There should have been over fifty people on your ship. Where did they go?'

'We did not have the parts.'

'Doctor,' said The Wizard.

He turned. 'What?'

'"We _did_ not have the parts."'

'Oh. You didn't have the parts, so you used the crew.'

'The crew?' Mickey asked, alarmed.

'We found a camera with an eye in it, and… there was a heart… wired in to machinery.' Rose told them.

'Bad programming,' said The Wizard sadly.

'It was just doing what it was programmed to. Repairing the ship any way it can, with whatever it could find. No one told it the crew weren't on the menu. What did you say the flight deck smelt of?'

'Someone cooking…' Rose said quietly.

'Flesh plus heat. Barbeque.' The Doctor frowned. 'But what are you doing here? You've opened up _time windows_. That takes colossal energy. Why come here? You could have gone to your repair yard. Instead you come to eighteenth century France? Why?'

'One more part is required.' The robot turned its head, to look straight at Reinette.

'Then why haven't you taken it?'

'She is incomplete.'

'Why the interest in Reinette?' The Wizard said.

Reinette sidled over to stand behind her.

The Doctor looked on in disbelief. 'What, so, that's the plan, then. Just keep opening up more and more time windows, scanning her brain, checking to see if she's done yet.'

'Why her? You've got all of history to choose from. Why specifically her?' asked Rose.

'We are the same.'

Reinette's voice sounded confidently through the room; she felt safe behind The Wizard and The Doctor. 'We are not the same. We are in no sense the same!'

'We are the same.'

'Get out of here. Get out of here this instant!'

'Reinette, no,' started The Doctor and The Wizard, but the robot teleported away.

'It's back on the ship. Rose, take Mickey and Arthur. Get after it. Follow it. Don't approach it, just watch what it does.' The Doctor ordered.

'Arthur?' Rose frowned.

'Good name for a horse.'

'No, you're not keeping the horse,' Rose said, like a mother.

'We let you keep Mickey. Now go! Go! Go!'

The Wizard shut the mirror door and left the room, investigating the building with discreet flicks of her sonic.

'Hey! Wizard!'

She turned and The Doctor was to be seen being led by Reinette to the ball room. She laughed. 'Are we about to party with the French in the 1700s?' she asked.

The Doctor's face split into a huge grin. 'I think we are.'

The Wizard put her sonic away. 'Right, then!'

She spent the time The Doctor danced with Reinette making jokes and talking to the people around her, but when Reinette danced with the king, the two stood side by side, nudging each other cheekily. They then danced themselves.

'You know what?' asked The Wizard as they swept past Reinette, 'I think this is too tame.'

'I'm thinking the same,' said The Doctor, clearly interested in the prospect, 'how do you propose we liven it up?'

'Well… Sonic to a few corks in bottles, convince the musicians to play their music at 140 beats per minute… what do you think?'

'Sounds good to me. Oh! I've got a banana in my pocket!'

'Excellent!'

'Where's Rose and Mickey?'

'Oh,' groaned The Doctor, 'I bet they've been taken.'

'Right. Come on.'

The Doctor went to straighten his tie.

'Wait, no, I've got an idea.' The Wizard rubbed the glass clean on her sunglasses and put them back on top of her head, wonky that time.

The two then grinned and kept singing what they were before they went back onto the ship, being careful to knock as many things over as possible.

' _I could've danced all night, I could've danced all night!_ '

' _I think that toni-i-ight is when our stars align!'_

Each holding a goblet full of wine they swayed into the room the Tardis had landed in. Rose and Mickey were tied down on metal slats, clearly ready to be hooked up to something.

' _And still have begged for more. I could've spread my wings_ -,'

' _Your world needs a great defender, your world's in the way of harm…'_

' _and done a thou-,'_ The Doctor was completely unfazed by the looks of incredulous disbelief he and The Wizard were getting from Rose and Mickey, instead he addressed them happily. 'Have you met the French? My… _GOD_ , they know how to party.'

'O-o-oh, yeah,' nodded The Wizard, tilting her head, raising her goblet.

'Oh, look at what the cat dragged in. The Oncoming Storm and The Looming Thunder.'

'Oh, you sound just like your mother.'

'Full of sass, there, Doctor,' said The Wizard.

'What've you been doing? Where've you been?!'

'Well…'

'Well,' repeated The Doctor in the same high tone, 'among other things, I _think_ we just invented the banana daiquiri a couple of centuries early.'

'His fault, not mine.'

Rose let her head fall back, completely exasperated.

'Do you know, they've never even seen a banana before?! Always take a banana to a party, Rose. Bananas are good.'

'Ish,' nodded The Wizard.

The Doctor started on the robots, walking toward them, leaning on The Wizard, laughing the whole time. 'Oh ho, ho, ho, ho, brilliant. It's you! You're my favourite, you are. You are the best! Do you know why? Because you're so thick. You're Mister Thick Thick Thickity Thick Face from Thicktown, Thickania.' He turned away again, but turned back to add; 'And so's your dad.'

The Wizard laughed.

'Do you know what they were scanning Reinette's brain for? Her milometer. They want to know how old she is. Know why? Because this ship is thirty seven years old, and they think that when Reinette is thirty seven, when she's complete, then her brain,' he rolled the "r", 'will be compatible. So, that's what you're missing, isn't it, hmm? Command circuit. Your computer. Your ship needs a brain. And for some reason, God _knows_ what,' he muttered, 'only the brain of Madame de Pompadour will do.'

'The brain is compatible.'

'You know, what interests me most here,' said The Wizard, taking her sunglasses off of her head and swinging them round, 'is that the people that programmed these robots were even thicker! 'Cause it's beyond the robots to calculate in a smart way if their programming is so thick. How _thick_ ,' she continued, 'would you have to be… to not notice… a flaw like that? It's like…'

'Oh, I know this,' The Doctor flicked his hand round, 'I know this, it's like… it's like…'

'… …' she also flicked her hand, 'It's like baking a cake, but not noticing the oven is out by 50 degrees and there's an extra cup of flour.' She scratched her temple as she added; 'it ends up too thick.'

Mickey raised his eyebrows and Rose sighed.

The Doctor pointed at her. 'Exactly. And what do you,' he rounded on the robots, finger still pointing at his focuses, 'mean by compatible? If you believe that, you probably believe this is a glass of wine.' Suddenly back to normal level of silliness, he took of the mask and emptied his goblet, which was in fact not full of wine, over the robot closest to Rose, the one he'd rounded on about being from Thicktown. It seized like it had with the fire extinguishers.

The Wizar straightened up and suddenly looked more alert, ready to throw her own "wine" at whichever one came near them.

'Multigrain anti-oil. If it moves, it doesn't.'

'Pain to get out of kitchen sinks,' The Wizard said informatively, as if giving them a tip, 'and never spill it on Newton's Cradles in the presence of a momentum conserver. Trust me; your brains won't be able to comprehend it.' She threw her oil at the robot that had been creeping up behind her.

The other robots advanced and Rose shouted.

The Doctor used his sonic on the locks holding Rose and Mickey while The Wizard jumped to the controls and flicked the robots' kill switch.

'Right, you two, that's enough lying about. Time we got the rest of the ship turned off.'

'Are those things safe?'

'Define-,' began The Wizard, but she was cut off.

'Yeah. Safe. Safe and thick, way I like them. Okay. All the time windows are controlled from here. I need to close them all down. Zeus plugs. Where are my Zeus plugs? I had them a minute ago. I was using them as castanets.'

'Before you switched to playing the forks.'

'Aren't you supposed to play the spoons?' asked Mickey.

'Yeah. He played the forks.'

'Why didn't they just open a time window to when she was thirty seven?' Rose asked, getting them back on track.

'With the amount of damage to these circuits, they did well to hit the right century. Trial and error after that. The windows aren't closing. Why won't they close?'

'One will still be-,'

A bell rang which cut The Wizard off.

'What's that?' Rose asked the Timelords.

'I don't know. Incoming message?'

'From who?'

'Report from the field. One of them must still be out there with Reinette. That's why I can't close the windows. There's an override.'

'Which I was about to say,' quipped The Wizard.

The robot The Doctor had poured the oil onto suddenly let the said oil drain out of its hand.

The Doctor looked outsmarted, and therefore slightly sulking. 'Well, that was a bit clever.'

The kill switch flicked itself back on.

'So was that,' said The Wizard, lifting her sonic up.

'Right. Many things about this are not good.' A bell rang through the ship and The Doctor looked around. 'Message from one of your little friends? Anything interesting?'

'She is complete. It begins.'

'Oh, joy,' grumbled The Wizard as the androids teleported out.

'What's happening?'

'One of them must have found the right time window. Now it's time to send in the troops. And this time they're bringing back her head.'

'Maybe they'll be nice and leave it on her neck,' suggested The Wizard, ushering Mickey and Rose down a corridor. 'Rose, I need you to do a favour. You need to go talk to Reinette and tell her the robots are coming, got that? Make sure she knows what to do, keep them talking etcetera. Tell her we promise we're coming.'

Rose nodded and left.

The Doctor and The Wizard found the right window.

'Oh,' said The Wizard, using The Doctor's words, 'that was a bit clever.'

'Mickey, go get Rose.'

'Fixing the audio link.'

'Robots are everywhere, Doctor, we've got to get in there.'

'I'm working on it!'

'Are you there? Can you hear me? I need you now. You promised. The clock on the mantel is broken. It is time.' Reinette was at her fireplace, and the Timelords watched as they fought to reach her.

'Why the hell did they block it off?! Human built robots are supposed to be dumb!' shouted The Wizard about the screams.

'Doctor! Wizard!'

'They're taking her to the ballroom! Doctor!'

'You found it, then?' Rose ran in.

'They knew we were coming. They blocked it off.'

The Wizard muttered a couple of insults at the androids and kept working.

'I don't get it. How come they got in there?' Rose asked, as the Timelords ran around.

'They teleported. You saw them. As long as the ship and the ballroom are linked, their short range teleports will do the trick.'

'Well, we'll go in the Tardis!'

'We can't use the Tardis. We're part of events now.'

'She'd have a fit, old thing,' said The Wizard.

'Well, can't we just smash through?' asked Mickey.

'Hyperplex this side, plate glass the other. We need a truck.'

'We don't have a truck.'

'I know we don't have a truck!' The Doctor shouted, causing Mickey to cower slightly.

'Well, we've got to try something.'

'No. Smash the glass, smash the time window. There'd be no way back.'

'Could everyone just calm down? Please.'

They looked up at the window as Reinette addressed the screaming ballroom.

'Such a commotion. Such distressing noise. Kindly remember that this is Versailles. This is the Royal Court, and we are French.' She turned to the robots and spoke again. The Wizard ran off. 'I have made a decision. And my decision is no, I shall not be going with you today. I have seen your world, and I have no desire to set foot there again.'

'We do not require your feet.'

The Wizard returned to the others with Arthur.

Reinette, now pushed to kneel between two androids looked up at another. 'You think I fear you, but I do not fear you even now. You are merely the _nightmares_ of my childhood. The monster from under my bed. And if my nightmares can return to plague me, then rest assured, so will yours.'

'I'm going through.'

'Well so am I.'

'One of us needs to stay here to fly the Tardis to pick up the other.'

'I want to go.'

'I'm Arthur's favorite; I'm going.'

The Doctor couldn't really argue with that, but… 'Then we both go.'

'That's a terrible idea.'

'We don't have time for this!' shouted Rose.

'Fine!' snapped The Wizard, and The Doctor jumped onto Arthur. They ran at the mirror, and all three went through, The Wizard running beside Arthur.

In the ballroom it turned out they had jumped through a mirror. The Doctor was still riding Arthur and trotted around the ballroom. The Wizard landed in a barrel roll and stood up.

The Doctor jumped off Arthur. 'Madame de Pompadour. You look younger every day.'

'Very,' added The Wizard, smiling at the grinning Reinette.

'What the hell is going on?'

The Wizard and The Doctor turned to survey the man behind them. He looked rich and self important.

'Oh. This is my lover, the King of France,' said Reinette.

'Yeah?' said The Doctor, 'Well, we're the Lords of Time. And we're here to fix the clock.' He pulled the hood off of the robot and the ballroom gasped. The robot pointed its blade at The Wizard, who glared at it like it was stupid and annoying.

'Forget it. It's over.' The Doctor looked at the mirror, completely smashed. 'For you and for us. Talk about seven years bad luck. Try three thousand.'

'But! Now, to business,' said The Wizard, clapping her hands together.

'Yes! Business! The link with the ship is broken. No way back. You don't have the parts. How many ticks left in that clockwork heart, huh? A day? An hour? It's over. Accept that. I'm not winding you up.'

The Wizard's mouth twitched at The Doctor's joke. The androids looked like they were slumping from how bad it was. They bent over and powered down. One fell over and smashed into tiny pieces. The Wizard took one of Reinette's hands, The Doctor taking the other. They pulled her up.

'You all right?'

Reinette nodded. 'What's happened to them?'

'They've stopped. They have no purpose now.'

The Wizard and The Doctor were looking out of the window at the stars in the sky.

Reinette approached. 'You know all their names, don't you? I saw that in your mind. The name of every star.'

'In every language,' nodded The Wizard.

'What's in a name?' shrugged The Doctor. 'Names are just titles. Titles don't tell you anything.'

'Like The Doctor and The Wizard.'

'Like Madame de Pompadour.'

She laughed. 'I have often wished to see those stars a little closer. Just as you have, I think.'

'From time to time.'

Reinette sighed at the two. 'In saving me, you trapped yourselves. Did you know that would happen?'

'Mmm. Pretty much.'

'Yet, still you came.'

'Yeah, I did, didn't I? Catch me doing that again.'

'Him especially,' said The Wizard, tilting her head at The Doctor.

'There were many doors between my world and yours. Can you not use one of the others?'

'When the mirror broke, the shock would have severed all the links with the ship. There'll be a few more broken mirrors and torn tapestries around here, I'm afraid, wherever there was a time window. I'll, I'll pay for any damage. Er, that's a thought, I'm going to need money. I was always a bit vague about money. Where do you get money? Wizard, you haven't got any money in your pocket, have you?'

'No. I only had a few kickles Rose asked me to hold the other week and you spent them on ice-cream.'

Reinette laughed. 'So, here you are, my lonely angels, stuck on the slow path with me.'

'Yep, the slow path. Here's to the slow path.' The Doctor chinked his glass with the others'.

'It's a pity. I think I would've enjoyed the slow path.' Reinette said.

The Wizard frowned at her.

'Well, I'm not going anywhere.'

'Oh, aren't you? Take my hands.' Reinette set down her goblet and so did the Timelords.

She led them to her bedroom, in which stood a fireplace. 'It's not a copy, it's the original. I had it moved here and was exact in every detail.'

'The fireplace,' murmured The Doctor, 'The fireplace from your bedroom. When did you do this?'

'Many years ago, in the hope that a door once opened, may someday open again. One never quite knows when one needs one's Doctor or Wizard. It appears undamaged. Do you think it will still work?'

'Well…,' muttered The Wizard.

'You broke the bond with the ship when you moved it, which means it was offline when the mirror broke. That's what saved it. But… the link is basically physical, and it's still physically here. Which might just mean, if we're lucky. If we're very, very, very, very, very, very lucky.'

'Which we've already established you are,' said The Wizard, wiggling her hand at him.

The Doctor examined the fireplace. 'Ah ha!'

'What?' asked Reinette.

'Loose connection.' The Doctor waved his sonic.

'One explanation,' The Wizard muttered quietly, repeating her words like The Doctor was doing.

'Need to get a man in.'

'Wish us luck!' he pressed the fireplace and it began to spin.

'No,' said Reinette as it turned, though they couldn't stop it.

The Doctor and The Wizard dropped to look through the fireplace. 'Madame de Pompadour! Still want to see those stars?'

She dropped down. 'More than anything.'

'Give us two minutes. Pack a bag.'

'Am I going somewhere?'

'Go to the window. Pick a star, any star.'

Reinette giggled and ran off, and so did The Doctor.

He turned when he realised The Wizard wasn't following. 'What?'

'I'm going to stay here and make sure we don't drift.'

The Doctor nodded and The Wizard stuck a pole through the fireplace, keeping her hand pressed onto the loose connection. She found herself getting bored before either of them returned.

'I'm here. Wizard?'

'Reinette! Good! Step inside.' The Wizard stood up and turned the fireplace. Reinette was grinning. 'Hop on.'

Reinette took The Wizard's hand and they swung round. Reinette looked around at the spaceship. 'Wizard, where are we?'

'In space. Amongst the stars. You're further away from home than you can imagine. Which star did you pick?'

'Uh…' she stuttered for a moment. 'The one in the middle of the three in a line,' she said.

'Orion's belt, middle star,' said The Wizard, 'it's called Alnilam. Alright, then.' She held out her hand again and Reinette took it. 'Come along, Madame de Pompadour.'

They reached The Tardis. 'This is one trip only, but you'll never forget it,' assured The Wizard. 'But you might want to prepare yourself for the inside of this box.'

'Where is The Doctor?'

'He's in there.'

'And Rose and Mickey?'

'Like I said, "prepare yourself." It's a little overwhelming.' The Wizard pushed open the bright blue doors and stepped inside with Reinette.


	5. DW 5-1 The Eleventh Hour

'What did you just hit?' shouted The Wizard as the Tardis spun through the Earth's atmosphere.

'I don't know, argh!'

'Doctor!' she shouted as the doors flew open and the whole console burst into sparks and fire. She ducked out of the way and flicked a scorched lever.

The Doctor, meanwhile, was blown out of the doors and was holding onto the base of the Tardis as they flew over London.

He looked behind him as The Wizard flicked the tail of her new coat away from the fire near the chairs.

'CLOCKTOWER!'

The Wizard looked out of the doors and her eyes widened as Westminster and Parliament House flew into view. She pointed her sonic at the controls as she was blown away to the edge of the room.

'You be grateful I'm not in my favorite coat! Next time would it kill you to regenerate in the squash courts?!' she yelled as The Doctor heaved himself inside and sat on the floor. He pushed his back against the shut doors and The Wizard timed a jump back to the controls, leaping through the air as they spun. She caught the lever she was aiming for and held on. She sent The Doctor a glare and he shrugged in reply, leaving the flying to her. With a grunt she flicked a switch she could just reach and the Tardis stopped spinning momentarily.

'That's better, what did you do?' he panted, yelling over the whirs and sparks.

'Reset the stabilisers. We're leaving London!'

'Aaargh!'

'There's a village down there… Doctor, we're about to crash land so I'm going to avoid hitting a house.'

'Sounds like a plan-! Whoa-a-a!'

The Doctor was thrown down the Tardis, over The Wizard's head and when it flipped he missed the railings, meaning he shot down to the levels below. The Wizard wasn't too far behind him, though she managed to not land in the pool, rather on the floor of the library.

'All your fault,' she called as the water spilt over the books.

'How is it my fault?' he shouted back. '…You know what, don't answer that!'

'Wasn't planning to!'

They were flipped upside down again and finally the Tardis stopped moving.

'She landed the wrong way up,' complained The Wizard.

'Haven't got a grappling hook, have you?'

'Not on me, but we're going to need one,' she grumbled.

They climbed the stairs, or rather walked along the walls, and made it to the control room. Then came the problem.

'We can't reach the door, it's up there,' The Doctor pointed.

'I've got it,' sighed The Wizard and she ran as far as she could up the wall and jumped. She caught one of the tall coral pillars and balanced on it, putting a hand on the now vertical floor to steady herself. Then she jumped for the controls. She reached the latch she wanted and flicked it open with a wave of her sonic. Then she grabbed the hook and wound it round the console, throwing the end to The Doctor. When he'd made it up to her they opened the doors and threw the hook outside of the Tardis and climbed up.

The Doctor, who was above The Wizard, pulled himself up to look over the side.

'Can I have an apple?'

' _What?!'_ she shouted.

'All I can think about. Apples. I love apples. Maybe I'm having a craving? That's new. Never had cravings before.' He sat on the edge of the Tardis as The Wizard climbed up and sat next to him. 'Whoa. Look at that.' He looked down.

'Are you okay?' asked a little red haired girl with a Scottish accent, who was standing on the ground in her garden looking at them.

'Us?' asked The Wizard, barely panting. She checked the sky. It was night.

'Just had a fall. All the way down there, right to the library. Hell of a climb back up.'

'You're soaking wet.' The girl frowned.

'I was in the swimming pool.'

'You said you were in the library.'

'So was the swimming pool.'

'He landed in it,' said The Wizard.

The girl rolled her eyes a little. 'Are you a policeman?'

'Why?' demanded The Doctor, 'Did you call a policeman?'

'Did you come about the crack in my wall?'

'The what?' The Wizard turned her head down to look at the girl.

'What cra- Argh!'

Immediately The Wizard pushed The Doctor off of the Tardis so he wouldn't fall back down. He landed on his side. The Wizard calmly watched him like a cat.

'Are you all right, mister?'

'No, I'm fine. It's okay. This is all perfectly norm-,' The Doctor sat up and coughed regeneration energy.

'Who are you?' the little girl showed no signs of running.

He held out his hands, still tingly with golden energy. 'I don't know yet. I'm still cooking. Does it scare you?'

'No, it just looks a bit weird.'

'No, no, no, the crack in your wall. Does it scare you?'

'Yes.'

'Well then,' The Doctor jumped to his feet, 'no time to lose! I'm The Doctor, that's The Wizard. Do everything I tell you, don't ask stupid questions, and don't wander off.' He walked straight into a tree and fell flat on his back into the dirt. The Wizard jumped off the Tardis and she and the little girl looked down at him, one more confused than the other.

'You all right?'

'Early days. Steering's a bit off.'

'Here we go again,' The Wizard sighed.

The Doctor was looking around the kitchen.

'If you're a doctor, why does your box say Police?' the little girl handed him an apple.

Without responding The Doctor took the apple and bit into it. Immediately he spat it out. 'That's disgusting. What is that?'

'An apple.'

'Apple's rubbish. I hate apples.'

The Wizard sighed.

'You said you loved them.'

'No, no, no. I like yoghurt. Yoghurt's my favourite. Give me yoghurt.'

The Wizard pulled out a chair at the dining table and sat as the little girl ran to her fridge. She passed The Doctor a small tub of yoghurt. Immediately he spat it out, all over the floor. The Wizard raised an eyebrow as the girl looked around in dismay.

'I hate yoghurt,' complained The Doctor, 'it's just _stuff…_ with bits in.'

'I've been trying to tell you that for decades,' said The Wizard.

'You said it was your favourite.' The girl had no idea what was going on.

'New mouth.' The Doctor wiped a hand over his lips, cleaning the yoghurt away, though adding some to his chin. 'New rules! It's like eating after cleaning your teeth. Everything tastes wro-aaaaaAARGH!' he ended jumping around violently in the doorway and hitting his forehead.

'What is it? What's wrong with you?'

'Wrong with me? It's not my fault. Why can't you give me any decent food? You're Scottish. Fry something.'

The Wizard, to her credit, had stayed silent. She stayed silent all the way through the sizzling of the pan and didn't even mention anything when The Doctor found a tea towel from the kitchen drawers to dry his hair. She watched, slightly amused as The Doctor looked excitedly down into the pan.

'Ah, bacon!'

As soon as it was ready The Doctor sat down and tapped the table with a fork. He ate a mouthful, chewed for a second and pulled it out of his mouth. The Wizard moved the plate away from the falling, half chewed bacon.

'Bacon. That's bacon. Are you trying to poison me?' The Doctor frowned at the little girl.

'It's fine, what's wrong with you?' mused The Wizard, happily eating the rest of it.

No longer needing to dry his hair, The Doctor lounged round the stove as the girl heated baked beans. The Wizard had little hope for them.

'Ah, you see? Beans.'

A few minuted later he spat them out into the sink. 'Beans are evil. Bad, bad beans.'

The girl groaned and The Wizard sighed.

'Bread and butter. Now you're talking.'

'Doubt it,' said The Wizard as the girl slid the plate over the table to The Doctor.

He raised his eyebrows at her and put it in his mouth. He ripped it from his mouth and stood up. Without a word he picked up the plate and marched to the front door.

The girl watched as The Wizard's face twitched, clearly amused and unsurprised when they heard a crash out in the garden and The Doctor from the front door.

'And stay out!'

He returned to find The Wizard chuckling.

The girl opened her fridge again. 'We've got some carrots…?'

The Doctor stopped his pacing of the kitchen behind The Wizard's chair to stare at the girl incredulously. 'Carrots!? Are you insane!?'

The Wizard laughed.

No. Wait. Hang on.' The Doctor took over the fridge and pulled two things from it and the freezer. 'I know what I need. I need.., I need…, I need fish fingers and custard.'

'None for me, thanks,' said The Wizard, standing up to turn the stove on.

'Funny,' said the girl when The Doctor hummed slightly, eating a fish finger covered in custard. She was eating ice-cream from the tub, using a large ice-cream spoon.

The Wizard bit into an apple as The Doctor drank custard straight from the bowl, causing custard to cover his upper lip.

'Am I? Good. Funny's good. What's your name?'

'Amelia Pond.'

'Oh,' exclaimed The Doctor, 'that's a brilliant name. Amelia Pond. Like a name in a fairy tale.' He ate another fish finger. 'Are we in Scotland, Amelia?'

'No. I had to move to England. It's rubbish.'

'So what about your mum and dad, then? Are they upstairs? Thought we'd have woken them by now.'

'I don't have a mum and dad. Just an aunt.'

The Doctor swallowed. 'I don't even have an aunt,' said The Doctor, 'neither does The Wizard.'

The Wizard smiled.

'You're lucky,' said Amelia.

'We know. … So, your aunt, where is she?'

'She's out.'

The Doctor looked slightly outraged. 'And she left you all alone?'

'I'm not scared.'

'Course, you're not. You're not scared of anything! Box falls out of the sky, man and woman fall out of box, man eats fish custard, woman seems perfectly sane after being in a box that's fallen out of the sky, and look at you, just sitting there. So you know what I think?'

'What?'

'Must be a hell of a scary crack in your wall.'

For the first time that night, Amelia looked afraid.

After The Doctor had finished eating they went upstairs to Amelia's room.

The Doctor ran a finger over the long crack in the wall opposite the door. 'You've had some cowboys in here. Not actual cowboys, though that can happen…'

'Not much fun when it does,' added The Wizard quietly, full attention elsewhere as she dug a fingernail into the crack.

'I used to hate apples, so my mum put faces on them.'

The two turned to see Amelia holding a bright red apple with a smiley face carved lightly into it. The Doctor took it, being the one who had a problem with apples.

The Doctor tossed it into the air and put it in his pocket. 'She sounds good, your mum. I'll keep it for later.' He and The Wizard turned back to the wall and crack. 'This wall is solid and the crack doesn't go all the way through it… So here's a thing. Where's the draught coming from?'

The Wizard, who pulled her sonic out first, scanned the crack, waving it all along to the ends.

The Doctor looked over at it. 'Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey-,'

The Wizard turned her head enough to raise an eyebrow.

'-You know what the crack is?'

'What?' Amelia shrugged.

'It's a crack. But I'll tell you something funny. If you knocked this wall down, the crack would stay put, because the crack isn't in the wall.' The Doctor put an ear to it and ran his fingers along it.

'Where is it then?'

'Everywhere. In everything. It's a split in the skin of the world. Two parts of space and time that should never have touched, pressed together… Right here in the wall of your bedroom. Sometimes, can you hear?'

'A voice? Yes.'

The Doctor stayed at the wall for a moment before darting to the bedside table, tipping the rest of the water out, over Amelia's carpet, and pressed it against the crack.

The Wizard closed her eyes and listened intently.

'Prisoner Zero has escaped.'

'Prisoner Zero?' echoed The Doctor, unsure.

'Prisoner Zero has escaped. That's what I heard. What does it mean?' Amelia was sidling to stand behind The Wizard.

'Prisoner Zero has escaped.'

'It means that on the other side of this wall, there's a prison and they've lost a prisoner. And you know what that means?' The Doctor pulled his head from the glass to look at Amelia.

'What?'

'You need a better wall.' He and The Wizard snapped into action. The Doctor carried the desk below the crack out of the way and The Wizard pulled Amelia further back and caught a pencil holder as it fell. 'The only way to close the breach is to open it all the way. The forces will invert and it'll snap itself shut. Or…' The Doctor trailed off.

'What?' asked Amelia, looking at them.

'You know when grown-ups tell you everything's going to be fine and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?'

'Yes,' she sighed.

'Everything's going to be fine,' said The Doctor. He reached out a hand and pulled his sonic from a pocket.

'Completely.' The Wizard took Amelia's left hand and readied her own sonic.

The Doctor pressed his own sonic and the crack widened, splitting almost a metre open. Behind the crack was very dark, though they could see the bars of a prison cell about five metres in.

'Prisoner Zero has escaped. Prisoner Zero has escaped.'

Amelia, hands held by the Timelords, peeked round to see the crack from behind The Wizard's tail coat.

'Hello?' called the Timelords, 'Hello-o-o?'

A giant blue eye shot down right behind the crack, causing all three to take a step back.

'What's that?' whispered Amelia.

'An Atraxi,' said The Wizard, 'they're aliens.'

Before Amelia could ask another question the eye sent two glowing lights at The Doctor and The Wizard. The Doctor doubled over slightly and let go of Amelia's hand to reach into his pocket, sitting on her bed. The Wizard also pulled out her psychic paper, though she didn't need to let go of Amelia's hand to do so.

The crack, meanwhile, zipped itself shut and disappeared.

'There, you see? Told you it would close. Good as new.' The Doctor opened his paper.

'What's that thing? Was that Prisoner Zero?'

The Wizard rubbed Amelia's arm to calm her down a little.

'No. I think that was Prisoner Zero's guard. Whatever it was, it sent me a message. Psychic paper. Takes a lovely little message.' The Doctor read the message. 'Prisoner Zero has escaped. But why tell us? Unless…'

'You're thinking what I am, aren't you,' sighed The Wizard.

'Only explanation,' The Doctor replied.

Amelia looked to both of them. 'Unless what?'

'Unless Prisoner Zero escaped through here. But he couldn't have. We'd know…'

'Would we?' asked The Wizard, thinking of multiple species that could have slipped through unnoticed.

The Doctor ran into the corridor, The Wizard as well, dragging Amelia.

'It's difficult. Brand new me, nothing works yet. But there's something I'm missing. In the corner of my eye… Wizard, you have a look.'

They both saw the door.

'It's there, alright.'

The Tardis Cloister Bell tolled outside and immediately everything else was forgotten by the two of them. The Wizard bit her lip to hold a swear.

The Doctor and The Wizard looked at each other and ran. The Wizard finally let go of Amelia's hand as she ran in front of The Doctor, who behind her was shouting.

'No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!'

The Wizard wrenched the front door open.

'We've got to get back in there! The engines are phasing. It's gonna burn!'

When they reached the garden The Wizard unhooked the hook they'd used to climb out with earlier. The Doctor busied himself with the rope.

'But… but it's just a box. How can a box have engines?' asked Amelia, standing and watching as they ran around the Tardis.

'It's not a box. It's a time machine,' said The Wizard without pausing.

'What, a real one? You've got a real time machine?'

'Not for much longer if we can't get her stabilised. Five minute hop into the future _should_ do it.' The Doctor threw the rope to The Wizard who tied it round the left door.

'Can I come?' Amelia looked hopeful.

The Wizard glanced down into the control room and shook her head at her and The Doctor. It was still smoking.

'Not safe in here. Not yet. Five minutes. Give us five minutes, we'll be right back.'

Amelia looked upset. 'People always say that.'

The Doctor crouched in front of her. 'Are we people? Do we even look like people? Trust us. I'm The Doctor, and she's magic.'

'There's no guarantee, Doctor, don't promise five minutes.' The Wizard climbed onto the Tardis.

'It'll be fine.'

'Her engines are phasing! We'll end up on Gjarckus V for all we know.'

With a final smile to Amelia, The Doctor took a section of rope. Then they jumped down.

'Geronimo!'

'Don't miss the controls this time!' shouted The Wizard, 'I just dropped my sonic!'

'I think I have!'

'I've got them,' she sighed.

She sent her fingers flying over the controls and slammed down the main lever. The Tardis whooshed.

'OH!' shouted The Doctor.

'OH!' The Wizard swore so loudly the Tardis gasped.

'We forgot about Prisoner Zero!'

'Five minutes should be alright,' The Wizard muttered.

The Tardis landed vertically and The Doctor and The Wizard hurtled out of the doors, coughing as the engines steamed all through the Tardis.

'It's day!'

'Amelia! Amelia!' shouted The Doctor, 'You've got to get out of there!'

The Doctor's sonic struggled to open the front door.

'Was it damaged in the regeneration?'

'Must have been.'

They burst through the front door and The Doctor ran up the stairs.

'Amelia? Amelia, are you all right? Are you there? Prisoner Zero's here!'

The Wizard checked the bottom floor and when she heard a clump from the floor above tore up the stairs after him. A policewoman was handcuffing The Doctor to a heater.

'Oi!'

The woman gasped and spun round. 'Who are you?'

'I'm The Wizard,' she pointed to The Doctor, who was starting to regain consciousness, 'that's The Doctor and we're here to save your life.'

The woman blinked for a moment. 'I don't believe you. Now stay there, or you'll be in more trouble.'

The Wizard heaved a sigh and The Doctor grunted as he came around.

The woman spoke into her radio, though The Wizard frowned at it. 'White male and female, mid twenties, breaking and entering. Send me some back-up. I've got him restrained. Oi! You sit still.'

'Cricket bat. I'm getting.. cricket… bat.'

'Are you?' asked The Wizard as The Doctor blinked.

'You were breaking and entering.'

'Long story,' The Wizard said.

The Doctor tried to stand up, only to be pulled back down by the handcuffs, suddenly more alert than he had been since regeneration. 'Well, that's much better. Brand new me. Whack on the head, just what I needed.'

'I'll remember that,' said The Wizard.

'Do you want to shut up now? I've got back up on the way.'

'Hang on, no, wait. You're a policewoman.' The Doctor looked to The Wizard, who lifted and eye to say she had no idea.

'And you're breaking and entering. You see how this works?'

'But what are you doing here? Where's Amelia?'

'Amelia Pond?' The policewoman went funny.

'Yeah, Amelia. Little Scottish girl. Where is she? We promised her five minutes but the engines were phasing. I suppose we must have gone a bit far. Has something happened to her?'

'Amelia Pond hasn't lived here in a long time.'

The Wizard frowned.

'How long?'

'…Six months.'

The Wizard turned her head, suspicious.

'No. No. No. No, we can't be six months late. I said five minutes. I promised. What happened to her? What happened to Amelia Pond?'

The woman glanced at The Wizard to make sure she hadn't moved and spoke into her radio. 'Sarge, it's me again. Hurry it up. This guy knows something about Amelia Pond.'

'You're lying,' said The Wizard.

'What?!'

'It hasn't been six months.'

Before either woman could say anything The Doctor started up. 'I need to speak to whoever lives in this house right now.'

' _I_ live here.'

'But you're the police.'

The Wizard sighed.

'Yes, and this is where I live. Have you got a problem with that?'

'How many rooms?'

'I'm sorry, what?'

'Answer him,' said The Wizard calmly.

'On this floor. How many rooms on this floor? Count them for me now.'

'Why?'

'Because it will change your life.'

'We promise.'

'Five. One, two, three, four, five.' She pointed at each door.

'Six,' said The Doctor and The Wizard.

'Six?'

'Look.'

'Look where?'

'Exactly where you don't want to look. Where you never want to look. The corner of your eye. Look behind you.'

Slowly and carefully The Wizard moved past the woman so she could see the final door at the other end of the hall.

'That's, that is not possible. How's that possible?'

'There's a perception filter all round the door. Sensed it the last time I was here.'

'But that's a whole room. That's a whole room I've never even noticed.'

'The filter stops you noticing. Something came a while ago to hide. It's still hiding, and you _need_ to uncuff me now.'

The woman moved toward the door. 'I don't have the key. I lost it.'

'How can you have lost it?! Stay away from that door! Do not _touch_ that door! Listen to me, do not open that-,'

The woman went inside.

'Why does no-one ever listen to me? Do I just have a face that nobody listens to?!' shouted The Doctor. '… … … again?'

Prioritising the situation, The Wizard knelt beside The Doctor and fiddled with the cuffs. 'Sonic. Sonic…' she looked up, alarmed. 'Mine's in the Tardis. Where's yours?'

The Doctor fiddled with his pockets. 'My screwdriver, where is it? Silver thing, blue at the end. Where did it go?'

'There's nothing here,' called the woman.

'Whatever's there stopped you seeing the room,' replied The Doctor as The Wizard wrenched on the cuffs, 'what makes you think you could see it? Now please, just get out.'

'Silver, blue at the end?' the woman called.

'My screwdriver, yeah.'

'It's here.'

'Must have rolled under the door,' answered The Doctor.

'Yeah. Must have. And then it must have jumped up on the table.'

'Get out of there.'

The Wizard gave up on the cuffs and headed for the room the policewoman was in.

'Get out of there! Get out! Get out of there!' The Doctor was straining against the cuff as The Wizard reached the door. She slowed and walked calmly into the room.

'What is it? What are you doing?' Yelled The Doctor as The Wizard waited carefully.

'There's nothing here, but…'

'Corner of your eye.'

'What is it?'

'Don't try to see it. If it knows you've seen it, it will kill you. Don't look at it. Do not look.'

The Wizard went into the room, saw the woman just as she saw Prisoner Zero and as she screamed, pulled her out of the room. She took the sonic from her hands and threw it to The Doctor, who locked the door. But it struggled to open the cuffs.

'Come on. What's the bad alien done to you?'

'What's wrong?'

'Sonic's not working.'

The Wizard sucked in her breath.

'Will that door hold it?' The woman was looking with wide eyes.

'Oh, yeah, yeah, of course. It's an interdimensional multiform from outer space. They're all _terrified_ of wood.'

Despite the situation, The Wizard chuckled.

The edges of the door lit up with an alarming brightness from something behind it.

'What's that? What's it doing?'

The Doctor glanced up as he cleaned his sonic. 'I don't know. Getting dressed? Run. Just go. Your back up's coming. We'll be fine.'

'There is no back up.'

The two frowned.

'We heard you on the radio. You called for back up.'

'I was pretending. It's a pretend radio.'

'But you're a policewoman.'

'I'm a kissogram!'

The woman took off her hat and her red hair fell down. Before either Timelord could make a remark the door fell forward off its hinges and there stood a man in workman clothes with a large black dog on a chain leash.

'But it's just-,'

The Doctor interrupted. 'No, it isn't. Look at the faces.'

The dog's face remained the same, the man growled.

'What? I'm sorry, what!?'

'It's all one creature. One creature disguised as two. Clever old multi-form. A bit of a rush job, though. Got the voice a bit muddled, did you? Mind you, where did you get the pattern from? You'd need a psychic link, a live feed. How did you fix that?'

'Hospital,' answered The Wizard.

'That explains it.'

'Got that sonic working yet?'

'Working on it…'

'Work faster, Doctor!'

The Doctor addressed the prisoner as The Wizard grumpily took the sonic from him and started cleaning it. 'Stay away! Her and me, we're safe. Want to know why? She sent for back up.'

'I didn't send for back-up!'

'I know. That was a clever lie to save our lives. Okay, yeah, no back up. And that's why we're safe. Alone, we're not a threat to you. If we _had_ back up, you'd have to kill us.'

'Attention, Prisoner Zero. The human residence is surrounded. Attention Prisoner Zero. The human residence is surrounded.' The speech came from outside, high in the sky.

'Ah,' said The Wizard, not even bothering to look up as she banged the sonic against her palm.

'What's that?' asked the woman.

'Well, that would be back up. Okay, one more time. We _do_ have back up and that's definitely why we're safe.'

'Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated.'

'Well, safe apart from, you know, incineration.'

'Silver linings,' muttered The Wizard as she tried the sonic again.

The man and dog growled and walked into the next room to look out of the window.

'Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated.'

'Come on, work, work, work, come on,' The Doctor watched as The Wizard fiddled with the sonic.

'Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated.'

'Got it!' The Wizard aimed the sonic at the cuffs and they snapped open.

'Run! Run!' The Doctor shoved the woman out of the house.

'Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated.'

'Kissogram?' panted The Doctor as he locked the door.

'Yes, a kissogram. What's going on?'

'Why'd you pretend to be a policewoman?'

'You broke into my house. It was this or a French maid. What's going on? Tell me. Tell me!'

'Short version, please, Doctor,' said The Wizard as they ran through the garden.

'An alien convict is hiding in your spare room disguised as a man and a dog, and some other aliens are about to incinerate your house. Any questions?'

'Yes.'

'Me too.' They reached the Tardis, but she wouldn't open. 'No, no, no, no! Don't do that, not now! It's still rebuilding. Not letting us in...'

'Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated.'

'Come on.' The woman tried to drag them away.

'No, wait, hang on. Wait, wait, wait, wait. The shed. We destroyed that shed last time we were here. Smashed it to pieces.'

'So there's a new one. Let's go!'

'Yeah, but the new one's got old. It's ten years ol-,'

'yes, well done, Doctor,' The Wizard checked her watch, 'we're twelve years late, she lied. Now run!'

'You said six months. Why did you say six months?'

'We've got to go.' The woman was panicking.

'This matters. This is important. Why did you say six months?'

'Why did you say five minutes?!'

The Doctor blinked. 'What?'

'Come on.'

'Doctor!'

'What?'

'Come on!'

'Now!'

'What?!'

'Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated.'

They ran to a park and The Doctor jumped back into action.

'You're Amelia.'

'And you're late.'

'Amelia Pond. You're the little girl.'

'I'm Amelia and you're late.'

'What happened?'

'Twelve years.'

'You hit me with a cricket bat.'

'Twelve years.'

'A cricket bat!'

'Twelve years and four psychiatrists.'

'Four?'

'I kept biting them.'

'Why?'

'They said you weren't real.'

'Will the two of you be quiet?' snapped The Wizard.

'Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated. Repeat.' It was coming from the speakers of a nearby ice-cream van. Amelia groaned.

'No, no, no, come on. What? We're being staked out by, an ice-cream van.'

'Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated.'

'More like the whole world's being staked out by an ice-cream van,' said The Wizard as they ran over.

'What's that? Why are you playing that?' The Doctor inspected the speakers.

'It's supposed to be Claire De Lune.'

'Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated. Repeat.'

They looked around. On a woman's radio, a jogger's iPad and a mobile phone.

'Wizard, Doctor, what's happening?'

'Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated.'

'Come on.' The Wizard tugged Amelia away and she and The Doctor leapt over the white picket fence of the closest house, missing the pleasant garden shrubbery. Amelia ran through the gate. Once inside they saw an elderly lady switching the channels of her television, an eyeball like the crack in the wall on screen and the same message.

'Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated. Repeat. Prisoner Zero will v- the human resi- or the human residence – incinerated.'

The Doctor ran through the door behind The Wizard and jumped in front of her when they saw the woman. 'Hello! Sorry to burst in. We're doing a special on television faults in this area.'

Amelia ran into the room a moment later.

'…Also crimes. Let's have a look.' The Doctor took the remote and began switching channels.

'I was just about to phone. It's on every channel.' The woman noticed Amelia. 'Oh, hello, Amy dear. Are you a policewoman now?'

'Well, sometimes.'

'I thought you were a nurse.'

The Wizard and The Doctor glanced at the nervous Amelia.

'I can be a nurse.'

'…Or actually a nun?'

'I dabble,' Amelia laughed, nervously.

The woman noted Amelia's skirt length before changing the subjects. 'Amy, who are your friends?'

'Who's Amy? You were Amelia,' The Doctor passed the remote to The Wizard.

'Yeah? Now I'm Amy.'

'Amelia Pond,' The Doctor exclaimed, 'that was a great name!'

'Bit fairy tale.'

The Wizard smiled a little.

'I know you, don't I? I've seen you somewhere before.' The woman looked at the two.

'Not me. Brand new face.' The Doctor opened his mouth incredibly widely. The Wizard elbowed him and he shut it. 'First time on. You might have seen her,' he pointed at The Wizard before turning to Amelia. 'And what sort of job's a kissogram?'

'I go to parties and I kiss people. With outfits. It's a laugh!'

'You were a little girl five minutes ago!'

'You're worse than my aunt.'

'I'm The Doctor. I'm worse than everybody's aunt.' He turned to the woman. 'And that is not how I'm introducing myself.' He picked up the radio and tuned it with his sonic.

'Repetez. Le Prisonnier. Zero wird der menschliche.'

'Okay, so it's everywhere, in every language. They're broadcasting to the whole world.'

'Uh-oh,' murmured The Wizard.

She and The Doctor crossed to the window.

'What's up there? What are you looking for?' Amelia asked.

The Doctor started pacing and The Wizard leant on the wall.

'Okay. Planet this size, two poles, your basic molten core? They're going to need a forty percent fission blast.'

'Provided they still use the same power,' The Wizard muttered grimly.

Behind them at the front door a tall young man walked in, carrying a laptop bag.

The Doctor kept talking and started crouching and springing up again when the man was next to him. 'But they'll have to power up first, won't they? So assuming a medium sized starship, that's 20 minutes. What do you think, twenty minutes? Yeah…, twenty minutes. We've got twenty minutes.'

'At most, medium starships are unpredictable.'

'Twenty minutes to what?' asked Amelia.

Before either Timelords could reply, the man spoke.

'Are you The Doctor?' the man pointed at him, then noticed The Wizard. 'And you're The Wizard!'

Amelia closed her eyes in dismay.

'They, aren't they? She's The Wizard! The Beautiful Wizard! And he's The Doctor! The Raggedy Doctor. All those cartoons you did when you were little. The Beautiful Wizard and The Raggedy Doctor. It's them!'

'Shut up,' whispered Amelia.

'Cartoons?' asked The Doctor and sat down on the couch.

The Wizard laughed. 'Move over.' She sat beside him 'The "Beautiful" Wizard?'

'Well,' Amelia shrugged, 'I was little. And have you _seen_ your coat? My Aunt came up with the names when she saw a drawing…' her voice was very quiet.

'Gran, it's them, isn't it? It's really them!'

'Jeff, shut up! Twenty minutes to what?' Amelia asked.

'The human residence will be incinerated. Repeat.'

'Till the human residence _is_ incinerated,' said The Wizard.

'The human residence. They're not talking about your house, they're talking about the planet. Somewhere up there, there's a spaceship, and it's going to incinerate the planet.'

'-will be incinerated. Repeat, Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated.'

'Twenty minutes to the end of the world.'

'Another day, another problem,' sighed The Wizard.

'Repeat, Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence, or the human residence will be incinerated.'

They walked down the street.

'What is this place? Where are we?'

'Leadworth.'

'Where's the rest of it?'

The Wizard checked her watch.

'This is it.'

'Is there an airport?'

'No.'

'A nuclear power station?'

'No.'

'Even a little one?'

'No.'

'Nearest city?'

'Gloucester. Half an hour by car.'

'We don't have half an hour. Do we have a car?'

'No.'

'Well, that's good. Fantastic, that is. Twenty minutes to save the world and I've got a post office. And it's shut!'

The Wizard laughed.

The Doctor pointed at a pond. ' _What_ is that?'

'It's a duck pond.'

'Why aren't there any ducks?'

'I don't know. There's never any ducks.'

'Then how do you know it's a duck pond?' asked The Doctor and The Wizard at the same time.

'It just is. Is it important, the duck pond?'

'I dunno. Why would I know? Argh!' The Doctor clutched his chest and sat down on the grassy edge of the "duck" pond. The Wizard crouched down and put two fingers to his neck, checking hearts speed. 'This is too soon. I'm not ready, I'm not done yet.'

The Wizard looked away from The Doctor when a shadow spread all around them, like a thick cloud had blocked the sun.

Amelia looked up. 'What's happening? Why's it going dark?'

They looked up to the normally bright sun, but it was black like it had burnt out.

'Wizard, Doctor, what's wrong with the sun?'

'Nothing-,'

'Nothing. You're looking at it through a forcefield. They've sealed off your upper atmosphere. Now they're getting ready to boil the planet.'

The Wizard groaned as she looked around.

The Doctor stood up and surveyed the green, The Wizard looked down at the street they'd ust walked. Everyone had a phone out. 'Oh, and here they come. The human race. The end comes, as it was always going to, down a video phone…'

Amelia was panicking and trying to rationalise everything. 'This isn't real, is it? This is some kind of big wind up.'

The Doctor looked concerned. 'Why would we wind you up?'

'You told me you had a time machine.'

'And you believed us.'

'Then I grew up.'

The Doctor and The Wizard looked annoyed.

'Oh, God you never want to do that,' said The Doctor. 'No! Hang on. Shut up. Wait. I missed it. I saw it and I missed it.' He hit himself twice on the head. 'Wizard, why didn't you see it? You haven't just regenerated!'

'I was looking the other way.'

'Oh. Right. What did I see? I saw. What did I see? I saw, I saw, I saw…' a moment later The Doctor whipped round again. 'Twenty minutes. We _can_ do it. Twenty minutes, the planet burns. Run to your loved ones and say goodbye, or stay and help us.'

'Less than twenty now,' said The Wizard.

'No,' said Amelia, as a car parked behind her.

'I'm sorry?' The Doctor raised his eyebrows, clearly not expecting that answer.

'No!' she shouted, and grabbed The Doctor by his battered, torn tie.

'Amy, no, no, what are you doing?'

'Amelia…' warned The Wizard, though she still found it funny.

Amelia dragged The Doctor to the shiny car that had just pulled up behind them, slammed The Doctor's tie into the door and grabbed the keys from the driver. The Wizard watched on, amused, as Amelia then locked the car.

'Are you out of your mind?' exclaimed The Doctor, 'Wizard, help.'

'Just… give it a minute,' she replied.

'Who are you?' Amelia asked, glaring at the pair of them.

'You know who we are.'

'No, really. Who are you?'

'Short or long version, Doctor?' asked The Wizard calmly.

'Short version, I think, don't you Wizard?'

'I agree completely.'

'Oi!' Amelia shouted, cutting over the two.

The Doctor wiggled, trying to get his tie out. 'Look at the sky. End of the world, twenty minutes.'  
'Well, better talk quickly, then.'

'Amy, I am going to need my car back.' The driver looked at the three of them uncertainly.

'Yes, in a bit. Now go and have coffee.'

'Right, yes.' He walked away.

The Doctor pulled the apple Amelia had given him, to The Wizard and he, only a few minuted ago. He tossed it into the air. 'Catch.' It was still fresh and she stared at it in wonder. 'We're The Doctor and The Wizard. We're time travellers. Everything we told you twelve years ago is true. We're real. What's happening in the sky is real, and if you don't let me go right now, everything you've ever known is over.'

'I don't believe you.'

'Just twenty minutes. Just believe me for twenty minutes. Look at it. Fresh as the day you gave it to me. And you know it's the same one… … … … Amy, believe for twenty minutes.'

It took Amelia a moment, but she unlocked the car. 'What do we do?'

The Wizard grinned.

The Doctor grinned. 'Stop that nurse.'

The Doctor and The Wizard, without slowing, jumped over the low chain fence to the village green and The Wizard snatched the nurse's phone away from him. The Doctor peered over her shoulder. Photos of Prisoner Zero as a man and a dog.

They turned to him and The Doctor paced. 'The sun's going out, and you're photographing a man and a dog. Why?' Amelia caught up with them and stopped running by the nurse.

'Amy,' he said, looking between her and the Timelords.

'Hi! Oh, this is Rory, he's a… friend.'

'Boyfriend.'

'Kind of boyfriend.'

'Amy,' Rory laughed nervously.

'Man and dog. Why?' The Doctor repeated.

'Oh my God, it's them.'

' _Just_ answer the question, please,' winced Amelia.

'It's them, though. The Doctor. The Raggedy Doctor. The Beautiful Wizard.'

'Yeah, they came back.'

'But they were a story. They were a ga-ame…!'

The Doctor had impatiently grabbed Rory by his jumper. 'Man and dog. Why? Tell me now.'

'Oh, sorry. Because he can't be there. Because he's-,'

'-In a hospital-,'

'-In a hospital-,'

'-In a hospital-,'

'-,in a coma?-.'

'-,in a coma-.'

'-,in a coma?-.'

Rory looked at The Doctor and The Wizard, who had spoken the same time he did. 'Yeah.'

'Knew it,' grinned The Doctor. 'Multiform, you see? Disguise itself as anything, but it needs a life feed. A psychic link with a living but dormant mind.' He poked Rory's forehead.

The man form of Prisoner Zero barked at them. The Doctor spun round and The Wizard, who was side on, turned her head to look at it, unimpressed.

'Prisoner Zero,' said The Doctor, addressing it as deadpan as The Wizard looked.

'What? There's a Prisoner Zero too?' Rory asked.

'Yes,' Amelia shushed him.

Before The Wizard could make any quips, a small, though big in the minds of Earth, Atraxi spaceship flew over the town. It looked like a sea creature, a starfish or even coral, though there was a giant eyeball at the centre of the underneath with electricity zapping around it.

'See, that ship up there is scanning this area for non-terrestrial technology,' said The Doctor, quite pleased with himself, reaching into his pocket, 'and _nothing_ says non-terrestrial like a sonic screwdriver.' He held his sonic up and pressed it. Streetlights exploded, all of the car burglar alarms went off, an elderly's mobility scooter took off with her still sitting on it and a fire engine started up, sirens blaring, and drove away with the firemen shouting in alarm.

Rory scratched the back of his head.

'I think someone's going to notice, don't you?' The Doctor grinned at Prisoner Zero, who responded with a snarl from both man and dog.

'Easy, Doctor,' warned The Wizard, seeming to enjoy the chaos around them, 'your sonic is still jammed with the-…'

The Doctor had pointed it at an empty telephone box. It exploded, but then the screwdriver had followed in a shower of sparks. He dropped it onto the grass, hot and blackened.

The Wizard sighed.

'No, no! No, don't _do_ that!' he shouted, picking it up and throwing it back onto the grass. 'Wizard, where's yours?'

'I dropped it in the control room, remember?'

The Doctor groaned.

'Look, it's going.' Rory and Amelia were looking at the spaceship, which was flying away.

The Doctor nearly shrieked. 'No, come back. He's here! Come back! He's here. Prisoner Zero is here. Come back, he's here! Prisoner Zero is… here…'

'Oi!' said The Wizard sharply, watching as Prisoner Zero disappeared down a drain.

'Doctor,' Amelia tapped him on the shoulder from where he was still sulking and watching the ship become smaller, 'the drain. It just sort of melted and went down the drain.'

'Well, of course it did,' said The Doctor.

'What do we do now?'

'It's hiding in human form,' –The Doctor shrugged, still annoyed-, 'we need to drive it into the open. No Tardis, no screwdriver…,' he took The Wizard's wrist and checked her watch, 'seventeen minutes. Come on, think. Think!'

They went over to look at the drain. Rory knelt by it for a bit, then stood up and eyed The Doctor. Amelia, meanwhile, was leaning on The Wizard a little.

'So that thing, that hid in my house for twelve years?'

'Multiforms can live for millennia. Twelve years is a pit-stop,' said The Doctor, still looking grim.

'So how come you show up again on the same day that lot do? The same minute!'

'They're looking for him, but they followed us. They saw us through the crack, got a fix, they're only late because we are.'

'What's he on about?' Rory shouted.

'Nurse boy, give me your phone.' The Doctor held his hand out.

'How can they be real? They were never real.'

'Phone. Now. Gimme!'

'They were just a game. We were kids. You made me dress up as him,' Rory said, bitter.

The Doctor went through the photos Rory had taken of people, the same few. 'These photos, they're are all coma patients?'

'Yep.'

'No, they're all the multiform. Eight comas, eight disguises for Prisoner Zero.'

'He had a dog, though. There's a dog in a coma?' asked Amelia.

'Well, the coma patient dreams he's walking a dog, Prisoner Zero gets a dog, laptop!' The Doctor exclaimed, not pausing for breath, 'Your friend, what was his name? Not him, the good-looking one.'

'Thanks,' said Rory.

'Jeff,' said Amelia without hesitation.

'Oh…, thanks,' Rory said again.

'He had a laptop in his bag. A laptop. Big bag, big laptop.' He put an arm over Amy and Rory. 'I need Jeff's laptop. You two, get to the hospital. Get everyone out of that ward. Clear the whole floor. Phone me when you're done.' He clapped them on the back and he and The Wizard ran off back to Jeff's house.

'I told you to be careful.'

'Yeah yeah.'

They made it to the house very quickly and burst into Jeff's bedroom without saying anything to the elderly woman. They weren't even sure if they'd seen her or not.

'Hello!' The Doctor shouted. 'Laptop. Give me.'

'No, no, no, no,' Jeff said, going to close it, 'wait.'

'It's fine,' said The Doctor, while The Wizard chuckled.

'No, no, no, no, hang on!-,'

'Give. It. Here,' The Doctor demanded firmly. He took the laptop and opened it again. 'Blimey. Get a girlfriend, Jeff.'

The Wizard chuckled again, as the door handle turned and in walked Mrs Angelo, while Jeff hoped The Doctor would close the window on his computer before his Gran saw.

'Gran.'

'What are you doing?' she asked, looking a little threatening.

'The sun's gone wibbly-,'

'Is the technical explanation for it,' said The Wizard.

'-so right now, somewhere out there, there's going to be a big old video conference call. All the experts in the world panicking at once, and do you know what they need?' He looked up as he was typing. 'Us. Ah, and here they all are.' He examined the list on the screen. 'All the big boys. NASA, Jodrell Bank, Tokyo Space Centre, Patrick Moore-,'

'I like Patrick Moore,' Mrs Angelo smiled.

'I'll get you his number,' replied The Doctor, 'but watch him, he's a devil.'

The Wizard laughed.

'You can't just hack in on a call like that,' said Jeff.

'Can't we?' The Doctor did so and flashed his psychic paper at the webcam.

The Wizard sat beside The Doctor.

'Who are you?' asked none other than Patrick Moore.

'This is a secure call, what are you doing here?' said another.

'Hello. Yeah, I know you should switch us off, but before you do, watch this,' The Doctor adjusted the laptop so The Wizard could see easily and began typing again.

'It's here too, I'm getting it.'

'Fermat's Theorem, the proof. And I mean the real one. Never been seen before. Poor old Fermat, got killed in a duel before he could write it down.' The Doctor looked up at Mrs Angelo, sheepishly. 'My fault. I slept in. The Wizard gave me an earful for that.' He looked back at the screen, though found the time to elbow The Wizard cheekily. 'Oh, and here's an oldie but a goodie. Why electrons have mass. And a personal favourite of mine, faster than light travel with two diagrams and a joke! Look at your screens. Whoever I am, I'm a genius. Look at the sun. You need all the help you can get. Fellas, pay attention.'

'Ignore the joke,' quipped The Wizard.

The Doctor passed The Wizard the laptop and pulled out Rory's phone. He began punching on that while The Wizard typed on the laptop. Jeff watched from behind them.

'Sir, Ma'am, what are you doing?'

'We're writing a computer virus. Very clever, super fast, and a tiny bit alive, but don't let on. And why am I writing it on a phone? Never mind, you'll find out.' He put the phone down and let The Wizard finish with the laptop. 'Okay, we're sending this to all your computers. Get everyone who works for you sending this everywhere. Email, text, Facebook, Bebo, Twitter, radar dish, whatever you've got. Any questions?'

'Who was your lady friend?'

'Patrick, behave.'

The Wizard chuckled as she worked. Jeff exchanged looks with The Doctor.

'What does this virus do?' asked someone.

'Doctor,' The Wizard said.

The Doctor jumped into action to explain as The Wizard kept working. 'It's a reset command, that's all. It resets counters. It gets in the wifi and resets every counter it can find. Clocks, calendars, anything with a chip will default at zero at exactly the same time. But yeah, we could be lying, why should you trust me? We'll let our best man explain.'

'…'

'…'

'…'

'Jeff,' whispered The Doctor, 'you're our best man.'

'You what?'

The Wizard lowered the laptop so they could talk.

'Listen to me. In ten minutes, you're gonna be a legend. In ten minutes, everyone on that screen is going to be offering you any job you want. But first, you have to be magnificent. You have to make them trust you and get them working. This is it, Jeff, right here, right now. This is when you fly. Today's the day you save the world.'

Jeff exhaled. '… … Why me?'

'It's your bedroom.'

The Wizard chuckled and put the laptop upright again. 'This extra piece of software will prevent any major counters from being reset.'

'Good thing you thought of that. Now go, go, go.' They ran out and left Jeff.

The Doctor jumped back to add one last thing; 'oh, and delete your internet history.'

They ran outside.

'Now how do we get to the hospital?'

The Wizard clicked a finger and pointed back in the direction of the green. 'Fire Engine.'

The Doctor's face lit up excitedly.

'Where did it end up?' asked The Wizard as they ran.

'I'm not sure.'

'Well, it can't have gone far.'

They found it a minute later, surrounded by fireman. Each pulled out their psychic paper.

'Uhh…' panicked The Doctor, trying to think of something plausible.

'UNIT!' shouted The Wizard, 'OUT OF THE TRUCK!'

The fireman looked surprised but ran out of their way, a couple saluting.

'That worked.'

'Well we _are_ UNIT,' replied The Wizard.

'Oh, yeah…'

'Get in, Doctor!'

'Right, right! Sorry!'

He climbed in and The Wizard started the engine and drove.

'Sirens, Doctor.'

'Yep. Wait, no!' he pulled the phone out of his pocket. 'Amy's calling.' He put it on speaker.

'Wizard, Doctor? We're at the hospital, but we can't get through.'

'Look in the mirror!' they shouted. Amelia had forgotten she looked like police.

'Look in the mirror… Ha ha! Uniform! Are you on your way?'

'Yeah.'

'You're going to need a car.'

'Don't worry, we've commandeered a vehicle.'

He hung up and, grinning like a child, pressed the sirens on.

'Oh, if only people parted like this when we _ran_ through the streets,' sighed The Wizard as the traffic cleared the road for them.

'Amy's calling.'

'Leave the sirens on, or we'll never get through.'

'Aye, skipper,' joked The Doctor as he answered the phone. 'Are you in?

'Yep. But so's Prisoner Zero.'

'You need to get out of there,' said The Doctor.

'Now,' added The Wizard, remembering that it had taken Amelia a long time to leave the room in her house.

'Oh, my God!'

'That's Rory,' murmured The Wizard.

'Amy? Amy, what's happening? Amy, talk to me!'

'We're in the coma ward, but it's here. It's getting in.'

'Which window are you?' asked The Doctor, fiddling with switches.

'What, sorry?'

'Which window?'

'First floor, on the left, fourth from the end.'

'Right,' The Doctor hung up and The Wizard lined up the engine.

The Doctor sent a text as they climbed onto the roof.

The ladder on top of the engine smashed through the top floor window on the left, fourth from the end. The Wizard hopped through and The Doctor followed a moment later as Amelia and Rory stood up from where they'd done what the text said and ducked.

'Right! Hello. Are we late? No, three minutes to go. So still time.'

'Time for what, Timelords?' Prisoner Zero was standing at the other end of the ward, in the form of a mother with two young girls, all holding hands.

'Take the disguise off. They'll find you in a heartbeat. Nobody dies.' The Doctor glared.

'The Atraxi will kill me this time. If I am to die, let there be fire.'

'Ohoh-o-kay. You came to this world by opening a crack in space and time. Do it again. Just leave.'

'Uh…,' said The Wizard.

'I did not open the crack.'

'Didn't think you did,' sighed The Wizard.

'Somebody. did.'

'The cracks in the skin of the universe, don't you know where they came from? You don't, do you?' Prisoner Zero changed to the voice of a little, girl, though the mother kept talking. 'The Doctor and The Wizard don't know. They don't kno-ow, they don't kno-ow!' it changed back to the adult voice as another minute showed on the clock. 'The universe is cracked. The Pandorica will open. Silence will fall.'

While Amelia and Rory exchanged looks of alarm, The Doctor and The Wizard waited patiently for… 'And we're off! Look at that. Look at that!

Prisoner Zero, Amelia and Rory looked at where The Doctor was pointing.

'Yeah, we know, just a clock, whatever, But do you know what's happening right now? In one little bedroom, our team are working. Jeff and the world. And do you know what they're doing? They're spreading the word all over the world, quantum fast. The word is out. And do you know what the word is? The word is Zero.

Now, us, if we were up in the sky in a battleship, monitoring all Earth communications, we'd probably take that as a hint. And if _we_ had a whole battle fleet surrounding the planet, we'd be able track a simple old computer virus to its source in, what, under a minute? The source, by the way, is right here.' He held up Rory's phone.

From outside there came a bright light; the Atraxi scanning for Prisoner Zero.

'Oh! And I think they just found us!'

'The Atraxi are limited. While I'm in this form, they'll still be unable to detect me. They've tracked a phone, not me.'

'Yeah,' grinned The Doctor, 'but this is the good bit. I mean, this is my favourite bit. Do you know what this phone is full of? Pictures of you. Every form you've learned to take, right here.'

'Thanks to Rory over here,' said The Wizard, pointing at him.

'Ooo, and being uploaded about now. And the final score is, no Tardis, no screwdriver, two minutes to spare. Who da man!?' The Doctor looked around at everyone, arms open wide. The Wizard winced, while the others look unimpressed, including all three of Prisoner Zero's current faces. 'Oh, I'm never saying that again. Fine.'

'Good,' said The Wizard.

'Then I shall take a new form.'

'Oh, stop it. You know you can't. It takes months to form that kind of psychic link.'

'Oh.' The Wizard thought of what The newly regenerated Doctor hadn't and moved back toward Amelia.

'And I've had years.' Prisoner Zero glowed and behind them Amelia collapsed, though she was caught by The Wizard.

'No! Amy? You've got to hold on. Amy? Don't sleep! You've got to stay awake, please.'

'Doctor.' The Doctor and The Wizard turned to see Prisoner Zero looking like The Doctor, down to the raggedy shirt, and The Wizard, down to the Gallifreyan watch.

The Doctor was looking at the figure on the right. 'Well, that's rubbish, who's that supposed to be?'

'It's you,' said Rory.

'Me? Is that what I look like?'

'Yes,' said The Wizard.

'You don't know?'

'Busy day,' said The Doctor. He stood up and walked to stand in front of Prisoner Zero. 'Why us, though? You're linked with her. Why are you copying us?'

'I'm not.' From between the two and holding their hands stepped a young Amelia pond, in the same clothes she'd met The Doctor and The Wizard in. 'Poor Amy Pond. Still such a child inside. Dreaming of the magic Doctor and Wizard she knows will return to save her. What a disappointment you've been.'

'No, she's dreaming about us because she can hear us,' said The Doctor.

'Amy, listen to us, focus on us.' The Wizard adjusted how she was holding her and put her fingers to her temples. 'You went inside that room, you went inside where Prisoner Zero was. You saw it. You saw Prisoner Zero. Dream about it, what did it look like? You can do this.'

'No, no!'

'It's working,' called The Doctor from where he was standing.

'Good,' said The Wizard, 'come on, Amelia Pond. There you go.'

'Well done, Prisoner Zero. A perfect impersonation of yourself.'

Beams of light shone back through the window and the voice of the Atraxi sounded. 'Prisoner Zero is located. Prisoner Zero is restrained.'

Prisoner Zero spoke for the last time. 'Silence, Timeords. Silence will fall.'

'When the question is asked,' murmured The Wizard.

'What?' The Doctor turned to her.

She shook her head, telling him it didn't matter.

The Doctor ran to the window and looked out.

'Gone?' asked The Wizard.

The Doctor nodded. He and The Wizard sighed crossly and The Doctor pulled out Rory's phone again.

'The sun,' said Rory, 'it's back to normal, right? That's, that's good, yeah? That means it's over.'

'Well…,' began The Wizard, but Amelia woke up.

'Amy. Are you okay? Are you with us?'

Amelia sat up and hugged The Wizard for a moment. 'What happened?

'They did it. The Doctor and The Wizard did it.'

'No we didn't,' huffed The Doctor, still fiddling with the phone.

'What are you doing?'

'Tracking the signal back. Sorry in advance.'

'About what?'

The Doctor winced. 'The bill.'

As Rory went to say something The Wizard stood up and stood next to The Doctor as he put the phone to his ear, talking to the Atraxi.

'Oi, I didn't say you could go! Article fifty seven of the Shadow Proclamation. This is a fully established level five planet, and you were going to burn it? What? Did you think no-one was watching? You lot, back here, now.' He shut the phone and threw it to Rory. 'Okay, now we've done it.'

Without a word the two walked out of the ward and marched down the corridor.

'Er…Did they just bring them back? Did they just save the world from aliens and then bring all the aliens back again?'

The Doctor threw the double doors open as Amelia and Rory ran to catch up to them.

'Where are you going?' called Amelia.

'The roof,' replied The Doctor. 'No, hang on.'

'Lockers,' said The Wizard.

'What's in here?' asked Amelia.

The Doctor was inspecting the clothes, throwing some over his shoulder. Rory picked them up. 'I'm saving the world; I _need_ a decent shirt. To hell with the raggedy. Time to put on a show.' He spun round and took a jacket from The Wizard. 'Thank you.'

'You just summoned aliens back to Earth.' Rory looked ready to implode. 'Actual aliens, deadly aliens, aliens of death, and now you're… taking your clothes off. Amy, he's taking his clothes off.'

'Turn your back if it embarrasses you,' replied The Doctor without a care.

'Hoo… boy,' sighed The Wizard.

'Are you stealing clothes now? Those clothes belong to people, you know.' Rory turned around, but Amelia didn't. 'Are you not going to turn your back?'

She folded her arms. 'Nope.'

'No, no, no, no, not that one,' The Wizard pulled a shirt from The Doctor's hand.

'This one, then.'

'Much better.'

A minute later they burst onto the roof, The Doctor and The Wizard striding confidently, Rory and Amelia hanging back, near the door. Hovering just above the roof was an Atraxi spaceship, the eye watching them. The Doctor had suspenders hanging down and grey pants, a red-ish shirt and an assortment of ties hanging around his neck.

'So this was a good idea, was it? They were leaving!' shouted Amelia.

'Leaving is good. Never coming back is better.' The Doctor turned to the ship. 'Come o-o-o-o-n, then! The Doctor will see you now!'

'Not funny,' whispered The Wizard from the corner of her mouth.

'Very funny,' he whispered back.

The eyeball shot down, making Amelia and Rory jump even further back, and scanned the two. The Doctor pulled his suspenders up. 'You are not of this world.'

'No, but we've put a lot of work into it.' The Doctor examined a few of the ties and held one up. 'Oh, hmm, I don't know. What do you think?'

'Is this world important?'

The Wizard took the tie from The Doctor and threw it behind them.

'Important? What's that mean, important? Six billion people live here. Is that important? Here's a better question,' he threw another tie behind him. Is this world a threat to the Atraxi?' He threw another tie. 'Well, come on. You're monitoring the whole planet, is this world a threat?'

The eye projected images from Earth in a sphere a little smaller than the eye itself, though still taller than the Timelords. First of the world itself, then of soldiers and explosions, armies, leaders, political leaders and everyday people.

'No.'

The Doctor pulled a tie from his neck. 'Are the peoples of this world guilty of any crime by the laws of the Atraxi?'

Cultural dances, festivals and people. 'No.'

'Okay! One more, just one.' He did up his top button. 'Is this world protected?'

The eye projected as The Doctor spoke. Cybermen, Daleks, Canary Wharf, Empress of the Racnoss, Ood.

'Because you're not the first lot to come here. Oh, there have been _so_ many!'

Sycorax, Sontarons, Vashta Nerada, Nestene Consciousness.

'And what you've got to ask is; what happened to them?'

The Doctor and The Wizard stood and watched as on the hologram appeared their past regenerations. The Doctor walked to grab the jacket from Rory and returned in time to see his tenth face. They stepped through the hologram as it finished, The Doctor wearing a red bow tie.

'Hello-,'

'-hello, I'm The Wizard.-,'

'-I'm The Doctor. Basically, run.

The eye shot back into its slot on the ship and took off very fast from the hospital roof.

Amelia said something, but neither heard as they felt something hot in their pockets. They each took out a Tardis key that was so hot it would have scarred human skin.

They looked at each other, grinning happily and took off without a word, out of the hospital and ran all the way back to Amelia's house. They stopped outside of the Tardis.

'Okay, what have you got for us time?' The Doctor opened the door and stood in the doorway, gaping.

'Wow…' The Wizard blinked.

'Look at you. Oh, you sexy thing! Look at you.'

They chuckled and ran in. The Doctor shut the door and The Wizard flew them away.

'To the moon?'

'Yeah! Let's go have a look at the planet we just saved.'

They spent hours running around the Tardis, fiddling with things and looking around in wonder.

'She's put the Arch Recon in the centre of the garden, Doctor!' shouted The Wizard.

He appeared moments later. In the shape of a tree with hanging bulbs it stood in the centre of the garden.

'Right! Wow! We'd better get back to Amy's.'

'Huh?' The Wizard hadn't heard. 'Oh! Right! Yes, coming.'

The Wizard let The Doctor do the flying and they materialised at night in the same spot in Amelia's garden. She was there when they opened the doors, in her nightgown.

'Sorry about running off earlier! Brand new Tardis. Bit exciting. Just had a quick hop to the moon and back to run her in. She's ready for the big stuff now.' The Doctor patted the Tardis fondly.

'It's you. You came back.'

'Course we came back. We always come back. Something wrong with that?'

'Strictly speaking _I_ always come back,' said The Wizard, 'the last you never stayed for Christmas dinners, never called in on old companions-,'

'Alright, alright! But this me isn't gonna do that, no way.'

'Good.'

'And you kept the clothes.'

'Well, I just saved the world. The whole planet, for about the millionth time, no charge. Yeah, shoot me, I kept the clothes.'

'Including the bow tie.'

'Yeah, it's cool. Bow ties are cool.' He fiddled with it.

'Are you from another planet?'

'Yeah.'

'Okay.'

'So what do you think?'

'Of what?'

'Other planets. Want to check some out?'

'What does that mean?'

'It means. Well, it means come with us.'

'Where?' Amelia looked at them.

'Wherever you like.'

'There's some amazing things out there, Amy,' said The Wizard.

'All that stuff that happened. The hospital, the spaceships, Prisoner Zero-,'

'Oh, don't worry, that's just the beginning. There's loads more.' The Doctor said.

'Yeah, but those things, those amazing things, all that stuff...' Amelia became cross. 'That was two years ago.'

'Oh.! Oops.'

'Yeah.'

'So that's…'

'Fourteen years!'

'Fourteen years since fish custard.'

The Wizard groaned. 'The _one_ time I let you fly and this happens.'

The Doctor, sheepishly, looked anywhere but at The Wizard he settled on looking at Amelia. 'Amy Pond, the girl who waited, you've waited long enough.'

'When I was a kid, you said there was a swimming pool and a library, and the swimming pool was in the library.'

'Yeah. Not sure where it's got to now, it'll turn up.

'I've found the library, but not the swimming pool.'

'So, coming?'

'No.'

'You wanted to come fourteen years ago.'

'I grew up.'

'Don't worry. We'll soon fix that.'

The Doctor and The Wizard clicked their fingers and the Tardis doors opened. Amelia stepped inside.

They followed her in. 'Well? Anything you want to say? Any passing remarks? We've heard them all.'

'I'm in my nightie…'

The Wizard laughed.

'Oh, don't worry. Plenty of clothes in the wardrobe. And possibly a swimming pool. So, all of time and space, everything that ever happened or ever will… Where do you wanna start?'

'You are so sure that I'm coming.'

'Yeah, we are.'

'Why?'

'Cause you're the Scottish girl in the English village, and we know how that feels.'

'Oh, do you?'

'All these years living here, most of your life and you've still got that accent. Yeah, you're coming.'

'And why wouldn't you?' asked The Wizard.

'Can you get me back for tomorrow morning?'

'It's a time machine; I can get you back five minutes ago. Why, what's tomorrow?'

'Nothing. Nothing. Just you know, stuff.'

'All right, then. Back in time for stuff.'

'The all-important stuff,' said The Wizard.

A green ended sonic screwdriver popped up from the console.

'Oh! A new one! Lovely.' The Doctor turned it on and whispered to the Tardis. 'Thanks, dear.'

'Where's mine?' asked The Wizard. From a slot next to the one that had just activated came The Wizard's black ended sonic. 'I'm surprised it survived in here.'

'Why me?' asked Amelia as The Wizard patted the Tardis fondly.

'Why not?'

'No, seriously. You are asking me to run away with you in the middle of the night. It's a fair question. Why me?'

'I don't know. Fun. Do we have to have a reason?'

'People always have a reason.'

'Do we look like people?'

'Yes.'

'Even with the bowtie?' asked The Wizard.

Amelia chuckled and finally The Doctor answered.

'Been knocking around on our own for a while. Our choice, but I've started talking to myself all the time. It's giving me earache.'

'You and me both,' said The Wizard, 'it hurts my brain listening to you talk to yourself.'

'You're lonely. That's it? Just that?'

'Just that. Promise.'

'Okay.'

'So, are you okay, then? Because this place, sometimes it can make people feel a bit, you know.'

'Or a bit more than "you know,"' added The Wizard, thinking of Donna.

'I'm fine. It's just, there's a whole world in here, just like you said. It's all true. I thought. Well, I started to think that maybe you were just madmen with a box.'

'Amy Pond, there's something you'd better understand about me, because it's important, and one day your life may depend on it. We are definitely madmen with a box. Well I am at least, not sure about The Wizard. Ha ha! Yeah. Goodbye Leadworth, hello everything.'

' _I'll_ fly, Doctor,' said The Wizard and corrected his typing on the typewriter.


	6. DW 5-12 The Pandorica Opens

'Vavoom!' The Doctor dropped to his stomach and looked down at Amy underneath the wires below the glass floor.

'Va-what?' asked Amy, as The Doctor shot back into The Wizard's view behind the console.

The Wizard looked up from the opposite side, fiddling with a wire or two.

'I can't _believe_ I've never thought of this before, it's _genius_. Right. Landed. Come on.'

'Finally,' teased The Wizard.

Amy looked between the two. 'Where are we?'

'Planet One. The oldest planet in the universe. And there's a cliff of pure diamond, and according to legend, on the cliff there's writing. Letters fifty feet high. A message from the dawn of time. And no one knows what it says, because no one's ever translated it. 'Til today.'

'What happens today?' asked Amy, meeting the two at the doors.

'Us. The Tardis can translate anything. All we have to do is open the doors and read the very first words in recorded history.'

'I'll point out,' said The Wizard, pushing the door shut again as The Doctor made to open it, 'that I figured this out centuries ago.'

'What?!' said The Doctor, looking like a small child.

'I couldn't resist. I _had_ to see how long it would take you.'

'Shut up,' replied The Doctor and pulled the doors open as The Wizard stepped aside.

'Oldest words in history and here I thought it would have nothing to do with you,' said The Wizard, blinking up at the cliff face.

 _Hello Sweetie ΘΣ ΦΓΥΔζ._

'Vavoom…' said The Doctor.

'What are those?' asked Amy, pointing at the symbols.

'Greek Letters,' replied The Wizard. 'Well you know them as that, they're actually symbols used for universal coordinates, but The Doctor here accidentally introduced these particular ones to Earth.'

The Doctor looked away and at a plant leaf as if it was incredibly fascinating.

'So you know what they are?'

'Capital Theta, capital Sigma. Then capital Phi, Gamma, Upsilon and Delta, finally lowercase Zeta.'

'Showoff,' teased Amy, nudging her.

The Wizard smiled. 'Come on, seems a certain someone demands our attention.'

The Doctor sprang back into action away from his leaf and leapt into the Tardis. 'Yes! Right!'

The Wizard and Amy followed him.

'Was it big or little Delta?' he asked as they entered.

'Capital,' said The Wizard pointedly. 'Big or little… honestly, you're how old?'

'There's no point in growing up if you can't be childish sometimes.'

'Either stop quoting yourself, or go and find that long scarf,' The Wizard replied with a tone of fond warning.

He sent her a brilliant eleventh-regeneration-exclusive smile and snapped down the lever.

'Where are we now?' asked Amy, sticking her head out and holding The Wizard's favorite coat ready for her.

The Wizard grabbed her coat from the rack.

Amy frowned.

'If you're being summoned by River Song, _always_ keep your favorite coat in the Tardis,' she explained, flicking her collar out.

Amy giggled and put the good coat back. The Doctor appeared and ushered them out.

'Right place?' asked Amy, looking out at the land they had found themselves on with a campsite far away from them.

'Just followed the co-ordinates on the cliff face. Earth. Britain.' The Doctor checked his watch. 'One- oh -two am. No, pm. No, AD.'

The Wizard sent him a peeved-mother type look and took his wrist. She pulled the watch off and started fiddling with it. 'You fixed the circuits whilst still wearing it, didn't you?'

'Maybe,' he shrugged.

'That's a Roman Legion.' Amy was still looking down.

'Well, yeah. The Romans invaded Britain several times during this period.' The Doctor was passed his watch back.

'Oh, I know. My favourite topic at school. Invasion of the hot Italians.' She looked at the raised eyebrows of the Timelords. 'Yeah, I did get marked down for the title.'

The Wizard chuckled. 'You're worse than River.'

Suddenly a soldier with a mark over his lips ran up to them, dropped to his knees and saluted. 'Hail, Caesar!'

'm-m-m-m-a-a-ybe not,' quipped The Wizard, noticing it was lipstick smudged onto the Roman's lips; River was worse.

'Hi,' said The Doctor, looking down with an air of uncertainty, though only with that air to appear humorous.

'Welcome to Britain. We are honoured by your presence,' he continued breathlessly.

'Well, you're only human. Arise, … … … Roman… person.'

'Why does he think you're Caesar?' muttered Amy in The Doctor's ear.

'Don't question it,' muttered The Wizard in response.

'Cleopatra will see you now.'

'There's your answer,' said The Wizard and set off briskly after the still dazed and out of breath soldier.

They threw the flaps of the tent open.

'Hello, sweetie.' River drank her wine with an elegant sip, looking at The Doctor from under a black wig. 'Wonder Woman.'

'You've been reading comics, haven't you?' asked The Wizard, 'what was wrong with "Wiz"?'

'River. Hi,' said Amy.

'You graffitied the oldest cliff face in the universe,' scolded The Doctor.

' _You_ wouldn't answer your phone,' replied River.

'His fault; he spilt milkshake on it,' said The Wizard.

'Did not!' he said in a child-like manner.

River nodded at her servants and they left the tent. She then waited a moment before holding out a rolled up painting. It looked old, The Doctor and The Wizard could tell from the canvas.

'What's this?'

'It's a painting. Your friend Vincent. One of his final works. He had visions, didn't he? I thought you ought to know about this one.'

They blinked at her before unrolling it. In Vincent's own handwork, intricate patterns and beautiful brushes lay a painting of the Tardis exploding.

The Wizard tilted her jaw to the side for a moment.

Amy panicked. 'Doctor? Doctor, what is this?'

'Why is it exploding?' asked River.

'Well, I have about a thousand possible explanations arranged in increasing difficulty for your brains to comprehend,' said The Wizard to the two of them. 'I could put them in alphabetical instead if you want.'

'I assume it's some kind of warning,' said River.

'What, something's going to happen to the Tardis?' Amy spoke quickly.

The Doctor sat down.

'It might not be that literal. Anyway, this is where he wanted you. Date and map reference on the door sign, see?' River glanced at The Wizard.

'Does it have a title?' muttered The Doctor from his chair.

'The Pandorica Opens.'

'The Pandorica?' asked Amy, 'What is it?'

'A box, a cage, a prison. It was built to contain the most feared force in all the universe.' River looked more concerned than either Timelord.

The Doctor sprang up and began pacing. 'And it's a fairy tale, a legend. It can't be real.'

'Well…,' said The Wizard.

'If it is real, it's here and it's opening, and it's got something to do with your Tardis exploding. Hidden, obviously. Buried for centuries. You won't find it on a map.'

'Wanna bet?' asked The Wizard.

'Come again?' replied River, 'you can't find it on a map; it's too old.'

'No,' said The Doctor, 'but if you buried the most dangerous thing in the universe, you'd want to remember where you put it...'

'We're in Britain, right?' teased The Wizard.

'Yes,' said River.

'Where abouts exactly?'

'Just outside Amesbury.'

'And what, River, is 2 miles that way?' asked The Wizard, pointing west.

'St- oh.'

'What? What is it?' asked Amy.

'You, Amelia Pond,' said The Wizard, poking Amy in the side, 'are about to become the first human to know what lies beneath Stonehenge.'

Amy's beautiful face lit up with excitement and a wonder for adventure.

'Got horses?' asked The Doctor.

The four ran into the circle of Stonehenge and River was already scanning the stones. Not that her devices did any good. The Wizard pulled out her sonic and bit slightly on her tongue in a decision to keep her discovery secret. Transmitters. The Doctor scanned the rocks on the ground rather than the taller pillars.

'How come it's not new?' asked Amy, looking round in more wonder.

'Because it's already old,' said River, fiddling with her own device. 'It's been here thousands of years. No one knows exactly how long.'

'Well…'

Amy ignored The Wizard. 'Okay, this Pandorica thing. Last time we saw you, you warned us about it, after we climbed out of the Byzantium.'

River put a finger to her lips. 'Spoilers.'

'No, but you told The Doctor you'd see him again when the Pandorica opens.'

'Maybe I did, but I haven't yet. But I will have. Wizard, Doctor! I'm picking up fry particles everywhere. Energy weapons discharged on this site.'

While Amy figured out what River had said The Doctor stood upright and walked to join The Wizard on the centre stone. 'If the Pandorica is here, it contains the mightiest warrior in history. Now, half the galaxy would want a piece of that. Maybe even fight over it.'

'Only half the galaxy?'

'Mm, could be the universe,' said The Doctor with a glance to The Wizard as he jumped down and put an ear to the stone. The Wizard stomped on it with a stilettoed boot so he could hear the resonance below. 'Yep. We need to get down there.' He walked out of the circle, ready to go get equipment.

'Do you just want to be first or are you actually concerned?' called The Wizard.

'Shut up!' called The Doctor.

By night they had got clamps and electronic lanterns. River placed the final device on the centre stone.

'You sure it's the Altar stone you want to move?' asked The Wizard.

'Yes, why?'

'Well if that really is a staircase down there how do we know it's not trapped?'

'It'll be fine,' shrugged The Doctor.

'If you say so.'

River hid a smile. 'Right then. Ready.'

The clank of machinery proceeded the motion of the ancient stone moving to the side. There was indeed a staircase. The Doctor and The Wizard peered down.

'The Underhenge. Ladies first,' said The Doctor teasingly, extending an arm.

The Wizard shot him a "really" look but without a word stepped onto the unmarked and unworn staircase.

'Now _that_ is an invention,' said The Wizard after igniting a torch with her sonic.

'What is?' asked The Doctor excitedly, jumping the last two steps.

'A door,' she replied blankly.

With Timelord strength and one hand she pushed the wooden bar away from the door and it dropped to the floor, spreading dust. The Doctor lifted a leg and swung a shoe through the settling dust, watching the patterns change in the air.

The Wizard pulled the door open, stepping behind it. 'After us, I think,' she said and she and The Doctor stepped into the next room. River grinned at the two.

In the middle of the cobweb covered stone, dusty walls and old torches, sat a dusty box taller than any of them, cubic and silver with an intricate circular pattern on each side, a little like the intricate workings of off-world locks.

'It's a Pandorica,' breathed The Doctor.

'It's a Pandorica,' agreed The Wizard.

'More than just a fairy tale,' River said quietly, grinning slightly still.

The Doctor found a way to make noise by stepping forward four steps and typically kicking something nowhere near his foot; a cyberman's arm.

'Oh great,' The Wizard said, voice high pitched.

They continued forward and The Doctor touched the corner of the closest faces to them.

'Anything else you want to mention, River?' asked The Wizard.

'Uh…'

'Do you two know anything?' Amy asked the preoccupied Timelords.

'There was a goblin, or a trickster, or a warrior.' The Doctor didn't turn around. 'A united force. A nameless, terrible idea, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared in all the cosmos. And nothing could stop it, or hold it, or reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world.'

'You're assuming that the beings who made this had good intent. There's either a hero or an antagonist in there.' The Wizard nodded at it.

'How did it end up in there?' asked Amy, eyeing the box, though still stepping forward.

'You know fairy tales. A good wizard tricked it.' The Doctor winked at The Wizard before marching around to the other side of the box. The Wizard moved to examine the circles.

'I hate good wizards in fairy tales,' said River. 'They always turn out to be her.' She passed her torch to Amy.

'My fault the word's in your language,' said The Wizard.

'So, it's kind of like Pandora's Box, then? Almost the same name.' Amy looked around.

'Exactly,' agreed The Wizard, while The Doctor's brain didn't register anything.

'Sorry, what?' he put his torch in a holder, brushing cobwebs aside.

The Wizard sighed.

He turned his attention back to the Pandorica, examining it with his sonic.

'The story. Pandora's Box, with all the worst things in the world in it. That was my favourite book when I was a kid.'

The Doctor turned around and marched over to Amy, frowning. She looked at The Wizard, who was also frowning slightly at her. 'What's wrong?'

'Your favourite school topic. Your favourite story. Never ignore a coincidence... unless you're busy. In which case, always ignore a coincidence.' He walked away again.

'So can you open it?' asked River, tilting toward The Wizard.

'Yes, without a problem. The problem lies elsewhere.'

'Exactly,' said The Doctor, 'we can get in there easily. Anyone can break into a prison. But I'd rather know what I'm going to find first.'

'Should we even bother opening it?' said The Wizard.

'You won't have long to wait,' said River, 'it's already opening. There are layers and layers of security protocols in there, and they're being disabled one by one. Like it's being unlocked from the inside.' She put an ear to the metal.

'So much for the perfect prison if it's opening,' muttered The Wizard, tucking hair behind her ear and rubbing a hand over face.

'How long do we have?' asked The Doctor.

'Hours at the most.' River whispered back.

'What kind of security?'

'Everything. Deadlocks, time stops, matter lines.'

'Time stops?' echoed The Wizard.

The Doctor's head appeared beside her and River found herself looking at the two being, in her eyes, adorable again, expressions identical. 'What could need all that?'

'What could get past all that?' asked River.

'Think of the fear that went into making this box. What could inspire that level of fear?' The Doctor turned his attention directly to the box. 'Hello, you. Have we met?'

The Wizard clicked her tongue.

'So why would it start to open now?' River continued.

'No idea,' said one Timelord.

'Special visitor,' said the other.

'Wizard?' asked The Doctor.

'Talk to Amy,' The Wizard tilted her head.

The other two turned to look at the red head, who was smiling at The Wizard. 'Ahem, And how could Vincent have known about it? He won't even be born for centuries.'

'Good point,' The Doctor said to the two, 'Wizard?'

'Vincent sent this directly to us and this time and location. Stands to reason it's opening because of something linked to us, we're not just arriving on the scene, we're part of it. Because why else would the Tardis be on the painting. But most importantly, Amy, Vincent met us, time-travelled and has one of the most brilliant minds. It stands to reason he can understand something no one else can. He sees what people can't. But this is a big event about to happen, otherwise it wouldn't send a message to Vincent in his time. Doctor, check the stone pillars.'

The Doctor sent a sonic scan with a wave of his arms. 'The stones. These stones are great big transmitters, broadcasting a warning to everyone, everywhere, to every _time_ zone. The Pandorica is opening.'

'Doctor, everyone everywhere?' asked River.

'Even poor Vincent heard it, in his dreams. But what's in there? What could justify all this?'

'Doctor, everyone?'

'Anything that powerful, we'd know about it. Why. don't. we. know?'

'DOCTOR!' shouted The Wizard, breaking his rant.

'Yes, Wizard?' he said quietly.

She pointed at River, who continued. 'Doctor, you said everyone could hear it. So who else is coming?'

He turned around. '… … …Oh.'

'Yeah.' The Wizard clicked her teeth.

'Oh? Oh, what?' Amy looked at all of them.

'Okay. If it is basically a transmitter, we should be able to fold back the signal.' River held up her device.

'Doing it.'

'On it,' agreed The Wizard and she and The Doctor walked around in a large circle, using their sonics on each stone pillar.

'Doing what?' Amy asked, more demanded.

'Stonehenge is transmitting. It's been transmitting for a while, so who heard?' River explained, moving to the pillar closest to her.

'Okay, should be feeding back to you now. River, what's out there?'

'Give me a moment.'

'River, quickly. Anything?'

'Doctor, calm,' said The Wizard.

River's eyes widened. 'Around this planet… there are at least ten thousand starships.'

Amy let out a nervous laugh. 'At least?'

'Ten thousand, a hundred thousand, a million, I don't know. There's too many readings.'

The Wizard held back a lighter Gallifreyan swear.

'What kind of starships?'

'I'll boost the audio,' said The Wizard, pointing her sonic at River's device.

A Dalek voice came through, followed by more. _'Maintaining orbit.'_

' _I obey. Shield cover compromised on ion sectors.'_

'Daleks. Those are Daleks.' Amy looked around, scared.

The Wizard held out an arm and the scared Amy stepped into it.

' _Scan detects no temporal activity.'_

' _Soft grid scan commencing.'_

' _Reverse thrust for compensatory stabilisation.'_

'Daleks, Doctor, Wizard.'

'Yeah, thanks, we know,' huffed The Wizard.

' _Launch preliminary armaments protocol.'_

The Doctor came out of his frozen stupor and threw his sonic from hand to hand. 'Yes. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Dalek fleet, minimum twelve thousand battleships, armed to the teeth… Arrrghh! But we've got surprise on our side. They'll never expect four people to attack twelve thousand Dalek battleships, because we'd be killed instantly. So it would be a fairly short surprise.' He whacked himself on the head. 'Forget surprise.'

'Surprise forgotten,' said The Wizard.

'Doctor,' began Amy.

A cyberman voice came through.

' _Course correction proceeding.'_

'You two, Cyberships.'

'Heard it.' The Wizard was beginning to speak shortly.

'No, Dalek ships. Listen to them. Those are Dalek ships.' The Doctor pointed at the pillar.

The Wizard pulled Amy closer. 'No Doctor, listen. There's both.'

'Dalek ships and Cyberships.'

'Well, we need to start a fight, turn them on each other. I mean, that's easy. It's the Daleks. They're so cross.'

'Make them trash talk first,' winked The Wizard, leaning on the Pandorica.

The Doctor couldn't help but send her a quick smile.

River moved to another pillar. 'Sontaran. Four battlefleets.'

'Sontarans! Talk about cross, who stole all their handbags?' exclaimed The Doctor.

It was The Wizard's turn to laugh.

Amy felt better everytime either of them smiled in this situation.

'Terileptil. Slitheen, Chelonian, Nestene, Drahvin.'

The Doctor was backing away toward the box, going past The Wizard and Amy as River listed them. The Wizard extended her other arm and caught him in a hug, one arm comforting Amy, the other hugging The Doctor.

'Sycorax, Haemogoth, Zygon, Atraxi, Draconian. They're all here… for the Pandorica.'

The Doctor twisted his head. 'What are you? What could you possibly be?'

A spaceship flew over the area with a high pitched engine and made the entire area shake. The cobwebs caught the light as they shook.

'What do we do?' asked Amy, as the arm left her shoulder and the Timelords ran past her. They were outside looking at the sky.

'Doctor, Wizard, listen to me. Everything that ever hated you is coming here tonight. You can't win this. You can't even fight it. Wizard, Doctor, this once, just this one time, please, you have to run.'

The Doctor looked around. 'Run _where_?!'

'Fight how?!'

'River,' The Wizard turned to her, 'we don't walk away. Not now, not ever. We don't. We're not running.'

'The greatest military machine in the history of the universe,' said The Doctor, clearly off in thought.

'What is? The Daleks?' River.

He rolled his eyes. 'No. No, no, no, no, no. The Romans.'

'Uh…' The Wizard was not convinced.

The Doctor flapped his hands around. 'Shut up.'

'So what's this got to do with the Tardis?' Amy asked. The three of them had gone back down to the Pandorica, sending River off to get Romans. She lit another torch.

'Nothing, as far as I know.'

'Possible link, we'll make it if there is one,' added The Wizard, joining The Doctor in circling the Pandorica with their sonics.

'But Vincent's painting. The Tardis was exploding. Is that going to happen?'

The Doctor glanced at The Wizard. 'One problem at a time. There's forcefield technology inside this box. If I can enhance the signal, I could extend it all over Stonehenge. Could buy us half an hour.'

'What good is half an hour?' Amy put her hands on her hips.

'There are fruit flies that live on Hoppledom Six that live for twenty minutes and they don't even mate for life...' The Doctor paused. 'There was going to be a point to that. I'll get back to you.'

'Within the next half hour,' said The Wizard cheekily.

They fell silent for a moment.

'So, are you proposing to someone?' asked Amy.

'I'm sorry?'

'Huh?'

The Doctor and The Wizard changed their focus to Amy, who was holding the box with her engagement ring.

'I found this…' Amy approached them, 'in your pocket.'

'Why do humans see a ring and think only of marriage?' sighed The Wizard, 'you _can_ just have or give a ring, you know.'

The Doctor eyed the box. 'No. No, no, that's er, a memory. A friend of mine. Someone I lost.' He made to grab it, but Amy pulled it away. 'Do you… mind?'

Amy looked at the ring in the open red box. 'It's weird. I feel, I don't know, something…'

The Doctor watched her face. 'People fall out of the world sometimes, but they always leave traces. Little things we can't quite account for. Faces in photographs, luggage, half eaten meals, rings. Nothing is ever forgotten, not completely. And if something can be _remembered_ , it _can_ come back.'

With held breath, the Timelords watched as something stirred behind Amy's eyes. But then it vanished, she shut the box and grinned at The Doctor. 'So, was she nice, your friend?'

The Wizard sighed and took the box from Amy, slipping it into The Doctor's pocket. They turned back with heavy footsteps to the box.

'Remember that night you flew away with us?' asked The Doctor.

'In your nightie.' The Wizard spared time to send Amy a cheeky glance.

'Of course I do.'

'And you asked me why we were taking you and _I_ told you there wasn't a reason. I was lying.'

'What, so you _did_ have a reason?'

'Well,' shrugged The Wizard.

'Your house.'

'My house.' Amy looked back to The Doctor with a sigh.

'It was too big. Too many empty rooms. Does it ever bother you, Amy, that your life doesn't make any sense?'

'At least it makes more sense than your sentence just now,' said The Wizard, crouching down to examine the circle closer.

Amy looked between the two, but her thoughts were sent scattering in a typical Amy styled panic when something fired at them. Red plasma bullets surrounded them and The Doctor and Amy split up, running to cover. The Wizard ended up next to The Doctor behind the Pandorica. Amy was on the other side. They all met at the corner, backs flat against the metal.

'What was that?' asked Amy.

'Okay, I need a proper look. Got to draw its fire, give it a target.' The Doctor's speech matched the speed his brain was rolling at.

'How?'

'You know how sometimes I have really brilliant ideas?'

'Yes.'

He winced. 'Sorry.'

'Oh, here we go,' muttered The Wizard in a grumble and took The Doctor's place on the corner next to Amy.

'LOOK AT ME, I'M A TARGET!' yelled The Doctor.

'Oh for goodness sake.'

More shots rang out and The Doctor made it to cover.

'What is that?' called Amy.

'Cyberarm. Arm of Cyberman.'

'Good, good,' sighed The Wizard.

'And what's a Cyberman?'

'Doctor, you explain.'

'Oh, sort of part man, part robot. The organic part must have died out years ago. Now the robot part is looking for, uh well, fresh meat.'

'What, us?'

'Yep. Well you, anyway,' The Wizard tilted her head to Amy, looking in the opposite direction.

'It's just like being an organ donor, except you're alive and sort of… screaming. Uh, I need to get round behind it. Could you draw its fire?'

'What, like _you_ did?' shouted Amy.

'You'll be fine if you're quick. It's only got one arm, literally.' The Doctor grinned and waved one of his arms about. 'And there's two of you.'

'You owe me an ice-cream!' shouted The Wizard.

'Okay, deal.' The Doctor smiled and stuck his thumbs up. Amy returned it, though without the manic grin, more the opposite. She screamed and ran out with The Wizard in the opposite direction The Doctor was in.

It fired at them and The Doctor pounced on it, waving the sonic over it after a bit of a wrestle.

'Doctor?' called Amy.

'Scrambled its circuits, but stay where you are, it could be bluffing.'

'Bluffing? It's an arm.' Amy began to walk toward him.

'I said stay where you are!'

Amy backed up pointedly and silently, leaned on the pillar and folded her arms. The Wizard put an arm in front of her, watching the arm like The Doctor was.

'Wizard!' a panicked yelp came from Amy and The Wizard's head whipped round. The Doctor looked up as Amy screamed and was pulled to the ground.

'Amy!' he yelled, only to be electrocuted and knocked out.

'DOCTOR!' yelled Amy.

'He's fine, let's worry about you.'

Amy's eyes tracked The Wizard's hands and she caught one. 'Right, okay, what is it?'

'Cyberhead.'

Amy turned and shrieked. 'Wizard!' she pulled herself up against The crouching Wizard.

The Wizard pulled out her sonic as more cables shot forward from the head, wrapping around Amy's wrists, yet it missed The Wizard, who pointed her sonic, first at the head, then waved it around, then groaned and aimed for the cables around Amy's limbs. They released and The Wizard stood up, taking Amy with her and backing up.

'Now what?!'

A little like an octopus, the head used its cables to slide across the floor.

'Jump over it.'

'WHAT?!'

'We have to keep it away from The Doctor,' said The Wizard and pushed Amy forward, who yelped and leapt over it, cables flying after her. The head followed her and The Wizard stalked it for a moment before darting forward, picking it up by the handle-like beam over its head and waved her sonic again. Each time a cable came for her she flicked the sonic at them until no more could move she dropped the head and swung a leg out, sending it skidding over the floor. Amy hurried back next to The Wizard.

'The human will be assimilated.'

'Yeah?' said Amy, 'you and who's body?'

Following this remark which The Wizard found amusing came heavy footsteps.

'That body, I presume,' she said.

'Aargh!' said Amy, and stepped behind The Wizard slightly.

'Back!' The Wizard, arm outstretched stepped back, pulling Amy with her.

A cyberbody appeared, minus a left arm, and walked toward them.

'Wizard,' said Amy.

'Yeah, working on it.'

The body picked up the head with its one arm and reconnected itself with the cables.

'When I say "move", run behind a pillar.'

'Be careful,' whispered Amy, tugging slightly on The Wizard's coat.

'Yeah, yeah. … … Move!'

Amy ducked slightly and scuttled back behind the Pandorica and The Wizard drew her sword and charged at it, ducked the outstretched arm and sent the sword straight through the chestpiece. It stopped and sparked, twitching until it collapsed.

'Is it bluffing?' asked Amy.

'No, it's dead,' The Wizard tapped the head with the tip of her sword a couple of times before sheathing it.

Amy nodded and stepped out from behind the Pandorica and went with The Wizard to The Doctor. They bent down and The Wizard was about to put her fingertips to The Doctor's temples when they heard more footsteps.

Amy watched in awe as she saw The Wizard's instincts kick in. She shot up, drew her sword, held her sonic ready and stood in front of The Doctor, body language screaming of protection.

'Hello?'

'Now there's a familiar voice,' mused The Wizard, lowering her sword slightly.

'Is it?'

'Yes, uh… you wouldn't remember it,' she said, glancing at Amy, who was still kneeling by The Doctor.

Rory came into view, dressed as a Roman, including a buff helmet and wielding a sword. Amy frowned at him.

'Who, who are you?' she asked, stepping closer to The Wizard, who put an arm around her.

'Hello, Amy,' said Rory, taking his helmet off.

'Wizard, who…?'

'Amy, why don't you go and wake The Doctor?' she replied quietly.

'What?' the Scottish girl murmured back.

'Amy.'

Her red hair bobbed as she nodded and walked past Rory to kneel by The Doctor, shaking him gently and then slapping his cheek.

Rory's surprised, shocked eyes followed her until he whipped his head to look at The Wizard. 'Why…?' he asked her quietly.

The Wizard sighed, and ran the tips of her fingers through her hair. 'Rory, she uh… remember when you died, which, by the way, I'm going to get to in a second, we were by a crack in the universe?'

'Yeah…?' he said, lowering his head slightly.

'Well uh…, the energy from it took you and you faded from the universe and its time.'

'So why can you remember me?' he asked after a moment.

'The Doctor and I are Timelords; we see time differently to how all other species do. But Amy, Amy forgot.'

Rory sighed and nodded sadly.

'Now, as for you dying and seemingly not, -,'

'He's ba-ack!' called Amy from The Doctor, who was groaning and muttering about fezzes.

'Fez?' asked The Wizard, walking past Rory, 'don't tell me…'

'What?' asked Amy.

'He's not exactly normal, this one,' shrugged the female Timelord in response.

Suddenly The Doctor sat up from the ground much like his sixth self. 'Amy? Where's Amy?'

'Sit down, she's on your left,' stated The Wizard. She gave him a moment to blink away his muddled thoughts and then offered a hand. He took it and she pulled him up.

'Sir!' came a call, making them all turn and watch as Romans clad like Rory entered the underneath of Stonehenge.

'Wha-?' asked The Doctor, 'Okay, Romans. Good. I was just wishing for Romans. Good old River. How many?'

'Fifty men up top, volunteers. What about that thing?' Rory walked over, answering the question and standing next to The Doctor.

'Fifty? You're not exactly a legion.' The Doctor paced a little, then stopped facing the baffled Rory.

The Wizard pinched the bridge of her nose in tired exasperation.

'Your friend was very persuasive, but it's a tough sell.' Rory continued.

The Doctor was sighing like he was whining. 'Yes, I know that, Rory. I'm not exactly one to miss the obvious-.'

The Wizard chuckled slightly and glanced up to meet glances with Rory.

'-But we need everything we can get. Okay, Cyberweapons.' He picked up some guns lying around, throwing dust off of them and onto the surrounding stones. 'This is basically a sentry box, so headless wonder here was a sentry. Probably got himself duffed up by the locals. Never underestimate a Celt.'

'Doctor?' Rory tried.

'Hush, Rory. Thinking.'

The Wizard sighed.

The Doctor continued. 'Why leave a Cyberman on guard, unless it's a Cyberthing in the box. But why would they lock up one of their own? Okay, no, not a Cyberthing, but what? What? No, I'm missing something obvious, Rory. Something big. Something right slap in front of me. I can feel it.'

'Yeah, I think you probably are.'

'I'll get it in a minute.' The Doctor with that turned away and began to walk out of the chamber. They heard a clash as he dropped the guns and he then slowly re-appeared a moment later. He walked up to Rory and poked him slowly. '… … … Hello again.'

'Hello.'

He swayed on the spot. 'How've you been?'

'Good. Yeah. Good. I mean, Roman.'

The Doctor had an expression of one giving up tactfulness. 'Rory, I'm not trying to be rude, but you died.'

'Yeah, I know. I was there.'

'You died and then you were erased from time. You didn't just die, you were never born at all. You never existed.'

'Erased? What does that mean?' Rory looked at The Wizard for a moment, who was still looking down and pinching her nose.

'How can you be here?' demanded The Doctor.

'I don't know. It's kind of fuzzy.'

'Fuzzy?!' he echoed incredulously, in a very eleventh way.

'Well, I died and turned into a Roman. It's very distracting.'

'… … … … …'

The Doctor was saved from having to invent a reply when the stones beneath them shuddered, sending dust all around them.

'What is it? What's happening?' Rory asked, looking through the upset dust

'The final phase. It's opening.'

'Opening!' echoed The Wizard and the two sprang into action, leaving a stuttering Rory as they headed for the Pandorica.

Amy, during all that time had been lying down and not listening.

'You're surrounded. Have you got a plan?'

'Yes!' shouted The Wizard at River, over the comms.

'Yes. Now hurry up and get the Tardis here. We need equipment.' The Doctor was lying on the ground on his back, waving his sonic screwdriver around the box. He hung up the comms and chucked it to The Wizard. He then sprang up and looked at the box. 'What are you? They're all here, all of them, all for you. What could you possibly be?'

'If it replies I'm going to jump out of my skin,' said The Wizard blankly.

The ground shook again, this time more violently.

'Time for your plan, I think,' she said.

'Yes, I think so.'

'You're going to shout at them, aren't you?' she shot him a motherly stern look.

'Of course,' he grinned, slipping the comm from her hand and walking out.

She tutted, flicked the Pandorica and followed him out to where night had draped the hills, and spaceships littered the sky. An electronic ping scraped through her ears.

'DOCTOR!' she scolded.

'Sorry, sorry, dropped it! Hello, Stonehenge! Who takes the Pandorica, takes the universe. But bad news, everyone,' he jumped on the middle stone, motioning for The Wizard to join him. She did, begrudgingly.

'Because guess who? Ha! Listen, you lot, you're all whizzing about. It's really very distracting.' He pointed at the ships directly above them. 'Could you all just stay still, a minute, because we. Are. talking!'

The ships hovered, silence falling over the land.

'Right. Now. The question of the hour is, who's got the Pandorica? Answer, we do.'

The Wizard chuckled.

'Next question. Who's coming to take it from us? Come o-o-o-n! Look at us! No plan, no back up, no weapons worth a damn. Oh, and something else; we don't have anything to lose! So! If you're sitting up there in your _silly_ little spaceship, with all your silly… little… guns, and you've got any plans on taking the Pandorica, tonight!, just remember who's standing in your way. Remember every black day we ever stopped you, and then, _and then_ , do the smart thing!' he stopped shouting to deliver his final line. 'Let somebody else try first.'

The ships above them retreated, blowing the torches of the Romans and their hair around.

'That'll keep them squabbling for half an hour,' muttered The Doctor, then jumped off the stone. 'Romans.' He held a hand out to The Wizard to help her down, purely out of habit from human gallantry.

'Back to the box,' said The Wizard.

Rory and The Doctor followed her.

'They're still out there. What do we do now?' Rory asked as they muttered calculations.

'If we can stop whatever's in this box getting out, then they'll go home.'

'Right.'

The Wizard noticed Rory looking at Amy sadly. 'Amelia Pond, go get some fresh air.'

'Is it safe up there?' she asked.

'Not remotely, but it's fresh,' grinned The Doctor, catching on.

'Fine. Excu-use me,' she said, stepping past Rory.

'Uh,' said Rory, 'my men are up there. They'll look after you.'

'Good. Love a Roman.' Amy disappeared.

'Oh god,' groaned The Wizard.

'She doesn't remember me. How can she not remember me?!' Rory demanded as soon as Amy was out of earshot.

'Because you never existed,' said The Doctor, distracted.

'I've told him all that, he's just in shock,' The Wizard told him.

'Yes, quite. Listen, Rory, there are cracks. Cracks in time. There's going to be a huge explosion in the future, on one particular day. And every other moment in history is cracking around it…' The Doctor was standing still, getting annoyed at his slow-working brain.

'So how does that work? What kind of explosion? What exploded?!' asked Rory.

The Doctor didn't reply. The Wizard could tell what was thinking.

'An explodey thing,' she answered for him, then continued fiddling with the box.

The Doctor snapped out if it. 'Doesn't matter. The cracks are everywhere now. Get too close to them and you can fall right out of the universe.'

'So I fell through a crack and now I was never born?' Rory nodded.

'Basically.'

'Well, how did I end up here?'

'Now that really is the question of the hour,' said The Wizard, leaving the box to stand beside The Doctor as they frowned at him, side by side and almost comical.

'What happened? From your point of view, what physically happened?' asked The Doctor as they walked up to Rory, who hastened to find an answer.

'I was in the cave, with you and Amy. I was dying, and then I was just here, a Roman soldier. A proper Roman. Head full of Roman… stuff.'

'Stuff,' muttered The Wizard quietly.

'A whole other life, just here like I'd woken up from a dream. I started to think it was a dream, you and Amy and Leadworth. And then today, in the camp, the men were talking about the visitors. The girl with the red hair. I thought you'd come back for me. But she can't even remember me.' Rory trailed off, looking at nothing in particular.

The Doctor grinned. 'Oh, shut up!'

'What?'

From the inside of his jacket pocket, The Doctor tossed Amy's engagement ring at Rory with a cheeky grin. 'Go get her.'

Rory didn't move, blinking at them. 'But I don't understand. Why am I here?'

The Doctor shrugged. 'Because you are. The universe _is big_. It's vast and complicated and ridiculous, and sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles, and that's the theory. Nine hundred years, never seen one yet, but this would do me. Now get upstairs; she's Amy and she's surrounded by Romans. I'm not sure history can take it.'

'It's probably why the explosion happened,' joked The Wizard, 'history couldn't take Amy and the romans.'

The Doctor looked at her and laughed as Rory went above ground.

They worked a moment before River called. The Wizard snapped up to answer it.

'How long does it take to fly a _time machine_ somewhere?' she quipped.

' _It landed in the future!_ ' River said.

'I thought you said you could fly the Tardis!'

' _I can_!' came River's angry reply.

'The Tardis, where is it?' The Doctor asked The Wizard.

The Wizard put the device to her shoulder, much like someone would with a phone. 'I don't know, she ended up somewhere else.'

'Tell her to hurry up!'

The Wizard put the device back to her ear. 'The Doctor says hurry up.'

' _Listen_!' yelled River urgently.

The Wizard heard her tone. 'River, what is it, where are you?'

' _They're not real. They can't be. They're all right here in the story book. Those actual Romans. The ones I sent you, the ones you're with right now. They're all in a book in Amy's house. A children's picture book. And something's been here, there's spaceship marks on the grass_.'

'The Tardis, she took you there?' nodded The Wizard, thinking, walking along one side of the Pandorica.

' _Yes,_ ' said River.

'Then she's trying to help, trying to warn us,' muttered The Wizard, causing The Doctor to look up at her as she paced along the one side.

' _Wizard, how is this possible?'_ asked River.

'Memories,' said The Wizard, 'Amy's memories,' still pacing, she turned and mouthed at The Doctor; "get Amy, and get those three away from the box," with a tilt of her head at the Romans with them. The Doctor nodded and stood up, walking out with the chatting Romans.

' _How?'_ River asked, _'How are they doing that?'_

'You said something had been there. So, something…' The Wizard trailed off.

' _WIZARD!'_ yelled River _._

'Sorry, uh, right, if they've been to her house, they may have used psychic residue. Structures can hold memories, as you and I know. They used Amy.'

' _So who are those Romans?'_

'Heaven knows,' muttered The Wizard, still pacing.

' _Wizard, my lipstick worked on them.'_

'Yes, I know, I saw,' she kept pacing. 'So they believe their own cover story for now, they think they're real.'

' _Including the one that looks like Rory?_ '

'Oh you saw him. Including Rory, yes.'

' _It's a trap. It has to be. They used Amy to construct a scenario you'd believe, to get close to you.'_

'I've worked that much out. … …' The Wizard looked to the floor, before asking River; '… … So why would they _want_ us here, if they want to get their hands on the Pandorica, hm?'

' _Oh god_ ,' said River, realising what The Wizard had already.

'Exactly.' Then The Wizard realised something else. She stopped pacing and span around on the balls of her feet. 'When did she take you, what's the date?'

' _Uhhh…hang on…, 26_ _th_ _of June, 2010.'_

'Get out! RIVER, GET OUT!' yelled The Wizard.

A bang came from River's end. ' _Argh!_ '

'RIVER!'

' _It's the engines. Wizard, there's something wrong with the Tardis, like something else is controlling it.'_

'That's because someone else is,' muttered The Wizard incredibly quietly.

' _What did you say?'_ yelled River over sparks and mechanical whirring.

'Nothing, what's she doing?'

' _She's groaning, not a single switch is moving, I can't shut her down!'_

'Emergency Protocol One!' yelled The Wizard, attempting to get the Tardis to respond to her voice.

' _Nothing! Wizard, what do I do?'_

'Is the screen cracked?' The Wizard asked, beginning to pace again, nervously.

' _Uh, yes! Yes it is.'_

She swore in Gallifreyan. 'She's not going to respond to anything… River, just run. Out the doors, go.'

' _Right.'_

The Wizard kept pacing.

' _Wizard! There's a voice, it's saying "Silence will fall."'_

'Silence will fall when the question is asked, on the fields of Trenzalore at the final stand, the echoes of the Time War shall rage through all who hear the question,' recited The Wizard, 'yes, I know, don't think about it, just get out.'

' _I'll try,'_ promised River, _'Go, there's nothing you can do for me anyway, I'll do what I can, you look after yourself now.'_

'Be careful,' said The Wizard and the two hung up. She stood still for a moment before running out to find The Doctor.

'DOCTOR!' she yelled, before crashing into him as he came down the steps she was running up.

'Wizard?'

She grabbed him by the jacket and pulled him down. 'Get away from the Romans, where's Amy?'

'I dunno, I didn't see her,' he panted as they ran back into the chamber.

'Stay here,' she said and ran out again. The Wizard found Amy as a loud, high-pitched mechanical noise screeched through Stonehenge, and all the Romans slumped over, except for Rory. They were past the last stone and The Wizard sprinted for them.

As Amy was shot dead.

'AMY!' yelled The Wizard, as Rory stood in shock, holding her.

All the remaining Romans turned toward the stairs, where The Doctor was.

Rory looked helplessly at The Wizard, who skidded to a stop.

Each sent each other a distressed tiny nod and The Wizard ran back to The Doctor, pushing past Romans.

'Well, now. Ready to come out, are we?' The Doctor was saying as she made it in.

'Spoiler alert; it's empty,' she panted.

'What?' he asked in shock, turning to face her.

'Barricade the door while we think of something clever,' she said, picking up the blank of wood as The Doctor jumped into action and pulled the doors shut. She wedged it in the space in the handles and they ran to the box, which opened to reveal no one inside, but two chairs back to back.

'WHAT?!' exclaimed The Doctor.

'It's for us,' she said.

They met each other's eyes and in sync ran behind the Pandorica.

'Alright, what are the Romans?' asked The Doctor.

'Duplicates, driven by the Nestene Consciousness.'

'Eh? Well that's clever.'

' _You have been scanned, assessed, understood, Doctor, Wizard.'_

Their eyes widened at the sound of a Dalek voice.

They stayed behind the box, backs pressed against it.

'Scanned? Scanned by what, a box?' called The Doctor.

And then came a cyberman voice.

' _Your limits and capacities have been extrapolated._ '

And then a different voice. 'The Pandorica is ready!'

'Oh, great, Sontarans,' sighed The Wizard, rolling her head.

'Alright, so, you lot, working together. An _alliance_. How is that possible?'

'Yeah, come on,' agreed The Wizard, 'last time we saw Daleks and Cybermen on the same planet things got _pre-etty_ messy. I would have thought things were just too awkward at this point.'

The Doctor laughed.

' _The cracks in the skin of the universe._ '

'All reality is threatened!'

' _All universes will be deleted.'_

'So, logically, you come to us for help,' shouted The Wizard back at them, 'because you lot, obviously, are highly qualified to be _preventing_ disasters.'

'We will save the universe from you!' shouted a Sontaran.

' _From_ us?' said The Doctor in a high-pitched, offended voice.

Cyberman. ' _All projections correlate. All evidence concurs. The Doctor and The Wizard will destroy the universe._ '

'No, no, no. You've got it wrong!' laughed The Doctor, still side by side to The Wizard.

'So we're just ignoring the fact that Davros, creator of the Daleks, once almost wiped out the entirety of all reality?' called The Wizard. 'Lock _them_ in a box before you start on us.'

' _The Pandorica was constructed to ensure the safety of the Alliance._ '

' _A scenario was devised from the memories of your companion._ '

'A trap The Timelords could not resist!'

' _The cracks in time are the work of The Doctor and The Wizard. It is confirmed.'_

'Don't admit to anything,' joked The Wizard, whispering quietly to The Doctor, who chuckled. 'Have you checked our records? We save the universe. Actually, we would be doing that right now if certain parties hadn't interrupted us. Hang on!' she shouted suddenly, ' _you_ landed on the 26th of June 2010 at Amy's didn't you? You idiots! You're the reason the Tardis explodes on that day! Talk of hypocritical.'

'Come on, River,' muttered The Doctor.

The two were biding their time, preying no one would come around the side of the box. Because of the time line connections between the enemies on the other side of the box, the 26th of June 2010, and the Tardis, their timelines were arranged in such a way that they were waiting for an event in the future that was running alongside them. Either River got out, which meant the Tardis engines had shut down and nothing would have exploded, therefore erasing Stonehenge, or the Tardis blew up, meaning the alliance would fade long before the Timelords did.

'Listen,' said The Wizard, 'this is total event collapse! Every sun will supernova at every moment in history. The whole universe will never have existed. Can you really handle that? Or do you want to get Gallifrey on the phone?'

'Silence!' shouted a Sontaran.

'No!' objected The Doctor, 'I will never be silent.'

'Actually, that's a good point,' said The Wizard, glad she and River had figured this out in time for The Doctor and her to avoid the Romans, 'Seeming as they don't say much and become stone I'm finding it hard to read the room here, but you've brought the angels right? The Weeping Angels of Old, or the normal ones?'

…

'The normal ones, then. Well, ask them, we told them a little while back while half-upside down in a ship with a forest in it. Never let us talk.'

'Wait, no, Wizard,' said The Doctor, 'they can't ask them.'

'Oh, right. They fell into a crack in the universe.'

As she said that, their Timelord eyes picked up the tiniest changes in the light as stars in the sky stopped shining.

'River,' sighed the two unhappily.

Silence fell in Stonehenge as the two Timelords sank to the ground, leaning on each other.

…

…

…

…

…

…

'Now what?' asked The Wizard.


	7. DW 6-10 The Girl Who Waited

'Apalapucia,' said The Doctor, running about the console.

The Wizard was wearing her favourite coat and polishing her sonic screwdriver, sitting on the stairs. Rory and Amy were standing side by side, watching The Doctor as he flicked levers.

'Say it again?' asked Amy, hand on hip.

'Apalapucia,' said The Doctor again.

Amy bowed her head. 'Apalapu…'

'Chia.' The Doctor finished.

'Apalapucia.' Amy.

'Apalapucia.' Rory.

'Apalapucia.' The Doctor.

'SHUSH!' The Wizard.

The Doctor stuck his tongue out at her.

'What a beautiful word,' said Amy.

'Argh,' groaned The Wizard.

'Beautiful word, beautiful world. Apalapucia, voted number two planet in the top ten greatest destinations for the discerning intergalactic traveller.' The Doctor whacked his head on something.

The Wizard sighed.

'Why couldn't we go to number one?' asked Rory.

'It's hideous!' said The Doctor immediately, making The Wizard laugh. 'Everyone goes to number one. Planet of the coffee shops,' he scoffed and landed the Tardis. 'Apalapucia. I give you sunsets, spires, soaring silver colonnades. I give you…'

The Wizard put her sonic screwdriver into her pocket and stood up, following him to the door.

'Doors,' said Rory.

The Doctor and the rest were looking at two white doors a few metres from the Tardis, a panel with two buttons next to it. 'Doors. Yes. I - I give you doors. But on the other side of those doors, I give you sunsets, spires, soaring silver colonnades.'

'Or maybe more doors,' winked The Wizard.

'Shut up!' he whined at her.

'Have you seen my phone?' asked Amy, preventing The Wizard from winding up The Doctor further.

'Your phone?' he echoed, looking blank and in disbelief.

'Yeah.'

'Your mobile telephone? I bring you to a paradise planet, two billion light years from Earth, and you want to update… _Twitter_.'

'What have you got against Twitter?' asked The Wizard, pacing around the room.

'Everything,' said The Doctor.

Amy continued. 'Sunsets, spires, soaring silver colonnades. It's a camera phone.'

The Doctor shut his mouth a moment, feeling stupid. It didn't help The Wizard was raising a quirky eyebrow at him. 'On the counter, by the DVDs.'

'Thank you.' Amy disappeared.

'How do we get in?' Rory asked as the rest approached the doors.

'I don't know. Push a button.'

'Nothing ever goes wrong when you push a button,' said The Wizard.

' _Shut up!'_ whined The Doctor again.

Rory pressed the top button, the Green Anchor.

The doors opened and inside was another white room.

'I love the sunset,' said The Wizard.

'Will you stop raining on my parade?!' snapped The Doctor childishly.

'You complained all through the last trip I chose,' replied The Wizard, stepping into the room, 'what are you expecting?'

The Doctor grumbled under his breath and followed her in. Rory ushered himself in behind them as the doors closed.

The room had a glass table and what seemed to be a giant spy glass sitting in the centre. There was another pair of doors at the other end of the room and a few chairs lining the walls. It was a small room.

'Fascinating,' she said blankly.

'Yeah, okay, so rain check on the soaring silver colonnades,' said The Doctor.

'The doors are nice, though,' Rory said, joining in.

'Oi!' said The Doctor, then conceded their point. He examined the table.

'It's a magnifying glass,' said Rory.

Amy's voice came from the other side of the doors they'd walked through. 'Hey? Hey, it's locked.'

'Yeah, push the button.' Rory called back.

'How long does it take to find a phone next to the DVDs?' asked The Wizard.

Nothing happened for a long moment.

'Come on, Amy,' said Rory, sighing.

'Maybe she's stopped to update Twitter,' said The Wizard.

'OI!' yelled The Doctor from his magnifying glass.

Rory sighed again and went out of the doors.

The Doctor and The Wizard, meanwhile, were frowning at the magnifying glass.

They sat down on the chairs.

'Where is she? Where on wherever we are is my wife?'

'Good question,' murmured The Wizard.

The Doctor pressed a button on the magnifying glass.

'Rory, I think I've found her.'

Through the glass was Amy, sitting also in a chair.

'What do you mean you've found her? Whoa. No, but, she's not, she's not here.'

'Rory, we got that,' said The Wizard.

'I can see her, but she's not here.'

'Where am I?' asked Amy. 'In fact, where are you?'

'A room,' said The Wizard, as the doors to their left opened. 'Argh! Wha-t is that?' she asked, taken by surprise.

'You wouldn't believe me if I said it was a waterfall would you?' asked The Doctor.

'Not in the slightest, now shut up!'

The Doctor noticed, finally, that the robot had hands. 'Hands. Hello, hands. Robot with hands, Rory.'

' _Welcome to the Twostreams facility. Will you be visiting long?'_

'Er, Wizard, Doctor, something's happening,' called Amy from the other side of the glass.

Her image wavered.

'Uh-oh,' mumbled The Wizard, glancing between the robot and the glass.

'Er, Amy?' said The Doctor, 'Stay calm. Stay still. Ah, time's gone wobbly. I hate it when it does that.'

'GONE WOBBLY?!' asked The Wizard incredulously.

'It has!' said The Doctor, working to pull his sonic screwdriver from his coat.

'It's beyond _wobbly_ , it's gone _wibbly wobbly_ ,' she grumbled, pulling out her own sonic.

They pointed it at the glass.

' _Will you be visiting long?_ ' asked the robot.

Rory backed away from it. 'Good question. Bit sinister. What's the answer to not get us killed?'

'42!' shouted The Wizard, preoccupied.

'Shouting 42 never helps!' Rory argued back.

'My counter-argument to that proposal is 42! Now shut up a minute.'

'Bit of hush!' panted The Doctor.

They got Amy back.

'It's okay, we've got you, you're fine.'

' _Will you be visiting long?_ '

'Wizard, Doctor? A little help?' Rory continued panicking. 'Doctor! Wizard!'

'Yes, fine!' shouted The Wizard, leaving The Doctor to deal with an angry looking Amy.

'And where have you been?'

'What do I tell it?' asked Rory.

The Wizard pointed her sonic at it and the robot shut down. 'Tell it to count sheep.' She turned her attention back to Amy.

'I've been here a week!'

'A week?' exclaimed The Doctor. 'A week? I'm so sorry. Ah-ha. Same room, different times. Two different timestreams running parallel but at different speeds. Amy, you're in a faster timestream.'

'Also known as wobbly,' said The Wizard, focusing on the magnifying glass.

Amy saw The Doctor pull a face at the back of The Wizard's head.

The glass wobbled. 'Wizard, Doctor, it's going again.'

'Oh great,' muttered The Wizard.

'Wizard! Doctor!'

'Amy!'

'Amy!'

'We've got you.'

'Come on... Gotcha. There. Stabilised, settled, shush.' The Doctor turned away and to Rory, focusing on their second problem.

The Wizard patted the glass above Amy's head and did the same.

'Why has this got hands?' Rory was peering at the robot.

'Organic skin. Ultimate universal interface, grown and crafted, not born. I mean, it's actually seeing with its fingers, scanning the room… … … But why not just give it eyes? Hang on,' The Doctor looked around, 'why isn't it still talking?'

'I shut it down,' replied The Wizard.

'Right,' he replied, scratching the back of his head with his sonic, 'we'll get back to that later. For now, Amy, what exactly did you do?'

'I just, I came in and I pressed the door button.'

'Oh,' said Rory. 'Amy, there are two buttons. The green anchor and the red waterfall.'

'Buttons,' muttered The Wizard.

'Which one did you push?'

'I pushed the red waterfall,' said Amy.

'Great.'

'Go see if you can get her,' said The Wizard. Rory nodded and walked out. He came back a moment later.

'I pressed Red Waterfall, and she wasn't there!' he exclaimed and sat down on the chair The Doctor stood up from in front of the time glass.

'Okay, so you can't follow her directly. You know, it's never simple.' The Doctor pointed his sonic at the robot, starting it up again. 'Did you hear that, Handbot? She pressed the wrong button, that's all. We're aliens, we didn't know.'

' _Statement… rejected. Apalapucia is under planet-wide quarantine. This is a kindness facility for those infected with Chen Seven._ '

Almost like children hastening to shut each other up, The Doctor and The Wizard leapt three feet into the air, pulled their coat collars over their mouths and noses with one hand, and putting their other had over the other's mouth. The result was quite funny.

'What?' they echoed.

'Chen Seven, hmm?' asked Rory, having also covered his mouth and nose.

'The one day plague.'

'What, you get it for a day?' asked Rory, hopefully.

'No, you get it,' said The Doctor, 'and you die in a day.'

Rory blinked at them.

' _There are forty thousand residents in the Twostreams Facility. Please remain in the sterile areas. Visiting hours are now._ '

It beamed itself away. The Wizard removed her hand from The Doctor's collar and scanned the room with her sonic. They put their hands down when she got her results.

'Sterile area. We're safe.'

'What about me?' called Amy.

'Chen Seven only affects two-hearted races like Apalapucians,' explained The Doctor.

'And Timelords,' said Rory, looking at them uneasily.

'Yeah, like us. Walk into that facility, we're dead in a day. Time moves faster on Amy's side of the glass.'

'Or at least it did until we isolated it,' said The Wizard, flicking her sonic on and off.

'Amy, you said you'd been here a week. What did you eat?'

'Nothing. I wasn't hungry.'

'Hmmm,' said The Wizard.

'No,' agreed The Doctor, 'because that Red Waterfall time is compressed. That's the point. The Time Glass it syncs up the two timestreams for visits. You could be in here for a day, and watch them live out their entire lives.'

'And watch them grow old in front of your eyes?' asked Rory. 'That's horrible.'

'No, Rory,' said The Doctor, 'it's kind. You've got a choice. Sit by their bedside for twenty four hours and watch them die, or sit in here for twenty four hours and watch them live. Which would you choose?' Without warning, he pulled the glass from the table. They heard a moment of Amy protesting before she was drowned out by the sound of two sonic screwdrivers.

'Wizard? Doctor? Doctor, no, don't leave me.'

They found her again, The Doctor holding up the glass.

'We're here, Amy. We're right here.'

Amy grinned, looking around. 'Where are you? Am I looking at you?'

'Turn left just a fraction. Bit more. Stop. That's it.'

'Eye to eye?'

'Eye to eye to eye to eye,' said The Doctor, glancing at The Wizard then Rory.

'Hello,' said Rory.

'Boo,' said The Wizard. 'Amy, we've got an idea.'

'We're going to take the Time Glass back to the Tardis. Like satnav, we'll use it to get a lock, then smash through using the Tardis to get you out. Until then, you're on your own.' He waved his sonic again.

'Er, what are you doing?' asked Rory.

'Yes I'd like to know that,' said The Wizard.

'Locking it on to Amy. Small act of vandalism. No one'll mind.'

As soon as The Doctor said that, an alarm sounded.

'DOCTOR!' yelled The Wizard.

'Ah, that'll be the small act of vandalism alarm.'

'For god's sake,' muttered The Wizard in despair.

'Amy, I need you to go into the facility just for a bit. Find somewhere safe and leave me a sign. Remember, you're immune to Chen Seven, but don't let them give you anything. They don't know you're alien. Their kindness will kill you. Now go.'

'Don't wait,' said The Wizard, 'Amy, hold on. Hold on. We're coming for you.' She met Amy's eyes, despite only one being able to see the other.

Amy nodded. 'Rory, I love you. Now save me. Go on.' She vanished.

'Rory, Tardis.'

Rory nodded and followed them out of the doors and into the homely and welcoming blue of the Tardis.

'Smash through time,' said The Wizard, now that Amy was out of earshot, ' _that's_ your plan?'

'Yes,' he replied.

'While I don't have any better ideas off the top of my head I'm going to warn you now this is a terrible idea.'

'What?' asked Rory.

'It's the only one we've got,' said The Doctor.

'Yeah, yeah,' said The Wizard.

Rory sighed unhappily.

'Just pull the damn leaver,' said The Wizard and pulled out a drawer from the console, grabbing a pair of glasses.

'This is locked onto Amy permanently. Play the signal into the console, the Tardis'll follow it.'

'Hurry up, then,' The Wizard said, unhappily. Without saying a word she slipped the glasses onto Rory.

'Wha-?'

'I'll explain in a minute. What do you think of them?'

'Ridiculous.'

The Doctor walked over. 'Glasses are cool, see?' He took them off, making The Wizard sigh in impatience. 'Hello, normal Rory.'

'Uhh…'

He put the glasses back on Rory. 'Hello handsome man!'

'Doctor,' said The Wizard, trying to get him to hurry up.

'Right! Rory-cam!'

'Huh?'

The Wizard pointed at the large screen near the door, where she and The Doctor from Rory's point of view were displayed.

'Oh…, you can see what I see.'

'We're breaking into Twostreams. Now, we can't go in there. The Chen Seven'll kill me, no regeneration. God knows what it will do to The Wizard, but you can't carry her round if it takes her down. You will be our eyes and ears.'

'What do you mean, God knows what it will do to The Wizard?' asked Rory.

'Long time ago, a friend of ours by the name of Rose messed me up,' said The Wizard, 'the day she looked into the heart of the Tardis. Pretty sure we've told you this before, Rory, focus!'

'Uh, right,' he said. 'I'm the Rory-cam. Rescue Amy. Got it.'

'That's the spirit!' celebrated The Doctor. 'Now, smashing through a timewall could get a bit hairy.'

'Is it safe?' asked Rory.

'Don't know. Never tried. Best hold onto something. You have, haven't you?' he asked The Wizard.

'Yes I have. Define safe, Rory.' said The Wizard.

'Uhh…'

'And away we go!' said The Doctor, pulling a lever.

The entire Tardis shook and sparks flew around the console, making Rory yelp and duck under his arms.

The Wizard fought to keep the Tardis level. '1, 2, gamma, chi, 475, got it! Doctor, reset the stabilisers!'

'I can't reach them!' he yelled as he was blown to the railings.

She threw a ball from her pocket at them and the Tardis settled. They landed a moment later and The Wizard ushered Rory out, passing him The Doctor's sonic screwdriver, then hurriedly slammed the doors shut.

'Red Waterfall,' said Rory through the screen. 'We made it.'

'Good old us,' said The Doctor.

'How do we know that we're in the same Red Waterfall as Amy?'

'Hush, Rory,' said The Wizard.

'Yeah, come on! Focus on the positive. We locked onto Amy's timestream.' The Doctor glanced at his friend.

The Wizard fiddled with the time rotor. When they returned their attention to the Rory-cam he was looking at the chest of a statue of a lady.

'Eyes front, soldier,' said The Doctor.

'I'm reminded of Jack,' murmured The Wizard, making The Doctor laugh.

Rory cleared his throat and looked away. 'Right, yes. Sorry.'

The Doctor chuckled again and then began his lecture as Rory looked around where he was; a gallery. 'Apalapucians are the great cultural scavengers, Rory. This gallery's a scrapbook of their favourite places.'

'Hence the Mona Lisa,' said The Wizard.

'That's not…?' asked Rory.

'No, her nose is wrong.'

'Bit of Earth, bit of alien, bit of whatever the hell that is…' Rory was examining the art. He continued into the building, which remained as deserted as they'd seen. 'Where is everyone?'

Neither Timelord answered. Rory wasn't even sure if they'd heard him.

'Right, Rory, switch the Time Glass on and sonic it.' The Doctor ran off for a moment up the stairs from the console.

'I'm finding Amy by sending a command signal to The Doctor's screwdriver,' said The Wizard. 'Hopefully we'll lock onto her. You want to see where all the people are?'

Rory nodded, making the screen slightly nauseating to look at for humans.

'I'll mix the filters of the glass, hold it up.'

Rory held up his Time Glass and gasped when he saw the blurs of everyone moving around him.

'The timestreams are flowing over each other invisibly. They're all around you, Rory.'

'Cool,' he said, sounding uneasy. 'Are they happy?'

'Oh, Rory,' sighed The Wizard.

'What?'

'Only you would wonder that.'

'You weren't?'

'I know they are,' she replied, as The Doctor's footsteps returned. He was carrying a tin of biscuits, a vial of hydrogen plasma, a clock, a rusted sheet of non-Earth metal and a pen spring.

'Back!' he announced.

'What in the name of all things sane are you doing with that?' asked The Wizard.

He passed her the biscuits and held the rest up.

'Oh I see. Makes sense without the biscuits.'

They heard a crash from Rory and saw he was on the ground, looking at something that made their multiple hearts sink. The Doctor dropped the clock.

'I come in peace. Peace, peace, peace, peace!' Rory was saying from the ground.

'I waited,' said Amy.

'Sorry, what?' asked Rory.

The Wizard swore. The Doctor glanced at her, then back to the Rory-cam.

'I waited for you. I waited for you.' Amy removed her helmet, showing who she was to Rory.

'Amy,' he breathed. 'Wizard, Doctor, what's going on?'

'Er… ..,' said The Doctor.

'Amy,' said Rory.

'I think the timestream lock might be a bit wobbly.'

'A BIT?!' shouted The Wizard, making Rory and The Doctor jump.

Amy rasied a sword. Rory panicked.

'No, please. Please.'

'Duck.'

Rory did as she said and Amy plunged the sword through a handbot that had snuck behind Rory.

'Handbots carry a black box in case they go offline. I've changed the cause of termination from hostile to accidental,' she said, 'easy to re-programme. Used my sonic probe.'

'What.' The Wizard said.

'Amy.'

'Rory.'

'Why?'

'Because I've survived this long by making the Handbots think I don't exist. Don't touch the hands.' She led Rory away from the area. 'There's anaesthetic transfer on the skin. If they touch you, you go to sleep.'

'But you're still here?' Rory asked.

'You didn't save me.' Amy didn't look back.

'But, this is the saving. This is the us saving you. The Doctor just got the timing a _bit out_.'

The Doctor mouthed "sorry," while The Wizard rubbed her face.

'I've been on my own here a long, long time. I've had decades to think nice thoughts about those two. Got a bit harder to stay charitable once I entered decade four.'

'Forty years? Alone?' Rory asked.

'Thirty six years, thanks,' she replied.

'No. Right. I mean, you look great. Really, really,' Rory started looking her up and down.

'Eyes front, soldier,' said Amy.

'Still can't win then,' muttered Rory.

'In fact, I think I can now definitely say I hate them. I hate The Doctor. I hate them more than I've ever hated anyone in my life, and you can hear every word of this through those ridiculous glasses, can't you, Raggedy Man?'

'Why not The Wizard?' Rory asked, not being able to help himself.

'I can remember the day this happened. She wasn't the one who strode out of the doors, instead she was the one who kept her attention on keeping me alive. You can hear me, can't you Doctor?'

'Er, yes. Putting the speaker phone on,' said The Doctor, though The Wizard had already done it, reaching behind her to sonic the console, still leaning on it.

'You told me to wait, and I did. A lifetime.'

'Amy…'

'You've got nothing to say to me.'

'Amy, behind you!' said The Doctor.

Two handbots had appeared. She threw her katana to Rory and touched the robot's hands together.

'Feedback. Knocks them out. Learned that trick on my first day.'

Rory spoke as The Wizard rubbed a fingertip over her hairline. 'Okay, so we just take the Tardis back to the right time stream, yeah? We can stop any of this happening.'

The Doctor explained, picking up the clock. 'We locked on to a timestream, Rory. This is it.'

'This is so wrong.'

Amy began walking again. 'I got old, Rory. What did you think was going to happen?'

Rory grabbed her arm, making her turn. 'Hey, I don't care that you got old. I care that we didn't grow old together. Amy, come on, please.'

'Don't touch me. Don't do that.'

'It's like you're not even her.'

'Thirty six years, three months, four days of solitary confinement. This facility was built to give people the chance to live. I walked in here and I died. Do you have anything to say? Anything, Doctor?'

'Where did you get a sonic screwdriver?'

'I made it. And it's a sonic probe.'

'You made a sonic screwdriver?' asked Rory.

'Probe.'

They reached two doors and Amy walked through. On the doors was a smudge of red lipstick that had been rubbed away.

Rory held up the time glass. _Doctor, Wizard, I'm waiting._

The Wizard sighed and stood up from the console, took the plasma vial from The Doctor's pocket and held it up to the light. 'It won't work.'

'Why not?'

'Doctor, we've got three timelines active, not two. And we can't close any of them.'

He sighed. 'You're right.'

She patted his shoulder. 'It was a good idea. See if you can get old Amy to help our Amy. Then we can get her back.'

He nodded and she took everything back up the stairs along the different rooms. She walked to the storeroom, returning everything The Doctor had brought out. She finished putting things away and paused for a moment by a bench, thinking under the arched shelves that made no sense to anyone but her and The Doctor. She hated it. She thought of the time she'd had to dig up Jack after he was buried underground, waking and dying every minute. Time went wibbly sometimes, as The Doctor would put it. She sat down for a few minutes, leant her head against the wall of the Tardis closed her eyes.

The whole Time War had gone wibbly. The year they'd asked Martha to walk the Earth, the years Donna was missing from her memories. The years Sarah Jane had taken to get herself back on track. The years River had lost with her parents. The life Rose lost at the fall of Torchwood London. The years Amy thought they didn't exist. Owen losing years of life. Tommy, the boy from world war one. The years The Master had lived in hiding from the hell of the Time War. The thousand years Rory had stood guard of a box. The hundred years Jack had waited for them.

It made her sad to think of it. And now Amy. There was something they could do this time, however, which made her determined to do that.

She returned sombre to find Rory and Amy walking out of her lair.

'Well?' she asked The Doctor.

'I am now officially changing my own future,' said Amy, turning round to look in the camera. 'Hold on to your spectacles. In my past, I saw my future self refuse to help you. I'm now changing that future and agreeing. Every law of time says that shouldn't be possible. Right Wizard?'

'Amelia Pond, sometimes knowing your own future's what enables you to change it. Especially if you're bloody minded, contradictory…'

'And completely unpredictable,' finished The Doctor.

'So basically, if you're Amy, then?' asked Rory.

'Yes, if anyone could defeat pre-destiny, it's your wife.'

'Wizard,' said Amy, making the Timelord look at the screen.

'Huh?'

'A long time ago you told me not to wait, but to hang on.'

'I did, yes.'

'Thank you.'

'Why?'

'Because I did. I did hang on because of that and it seems it's paying off.'

The Wizard smiled. 'Amy, you're amazing.'

'I know,' she replied. 'Now, about this. It's not about what I'm doing, but who I'm doing it for. I'm trusting you to watch my back, Rory.'

'Always. You and me, always,' he said, not knowing what else to say.

'Because here's the deal. You take me, too. In the Tardis. Me too.'

'But that means that there'll be two of you,' said Rory, 'Permanently. Forever.'

The Wizard and The Doctor froze, not turning their gazes from the screen.

'And that way we both get to live.'

'Two Amys together. Can that work?' Rory asked, pausing his walking for a moment.

'I don't know,' said The Doctor. 'It's your marriage.'

The Wizard burst out laughing.

'Doctor…' warned Rory.

'Perhaps. Maybe, if I shunted the reality compensators on the Tardis, re-calibrated the Doomsday bumpers and jettisoned the karaoke bar, yes. Maybe... … … …'

'…'

'… Yes. It could do it. The Tardis could sustain the paradox.'

The Wizard said nothing.

'Right. Amy and Amy.' Rory held up his time glass where the young Amy was. 'The wife and the wife. Right. Right.'

'Okay. Amy, Past Amy, stand by the door. Future Amy, you too,' said The Doctor.

'Rory, you're on wires,' said The Wizard, 'we're messing with time here so pay attention. Things are going to go wibbly wobbly.'

'Future Amy, can I borrow your sonic scr- e-f-h-k-q- _probe_ ,' said The Doctor, rolling his eyes.

'It's a screwdriver,' she smiled and passed it to Rory.

The Doctor grinned. 'Rory, sonic it. Double our power. Amy Now, you're our link to Amy Then. We need to get a signal through, and that signal-,' he caught a biscuit The Wizard threw, 'Will be a thought. Amy Now and Amy Then, share a thought. Something so powerful that it can rip through time.'

'It could be Monopoly for all I care,' added The Wizard, taking over. 'Right, Rory, here's your job. See that plinth? That's the regulator for the time engines.'

'Yeah…?'

'Sonic it, get it open and crack your knuckles. Hold on to your spectacles,' she finished, with a wink at The Doctor.

'It's open.'

'Right. See these wires?'

'Uh…' Rory was faced with several. 'Yeah.'

'That's the regulator valve in there, the three levers and the wires. Now, good news, after we re-route it, you have ten minutes to get back to the Tardis. That's good news because at least it's not nine minutes.'

'Uhhh…'

'Hush, pay attention. I need you to-,'

'Amy start focusing,' called The Doctor.

Amy nodded and began thinking.

'-pull out the red and green receptors. If you don't know what those are we're in trouble. Re-route the blue into the red and the green into blue. Leave the red loose and on no account whatsoever do you touch anything yellow.'

Rory fumbled as he fiddled with the wires.

'Come on, Rory,' urged The Doctor, 'It's hardly rocket science, it's just quantum physics!'

Amongst the pressure which must have felt like steam in a sealed can Rory was working. 'Yes, right. Blue… into red and then green…'

'RORY!' yelled The Wizard, 'Hurry up!'

'Levers! Levers!' yelled The Doctor, clapping his hands. 'Throw them in order. And Amys, start thinking the most important thought you have ever had.'

'Monopoly,' said The Wizard, pulling a wire from the console.

'Hold it in your head and do not let it go. Lever one.'

Rory quickly pulled the left-hand lever and turned to watch Amy, who had begun to sway on the spot. She began to do the Macarena.

'She's doing the Macarena.'

'Oh god,' mumbled The Wizard.

'Our first kiss…'

'RORY!' she yelled for the second time in five minutes.

'Right, sorry. Lever two?'

'Lever two,' confirmed The Doctor.

Young Amy began to appear.

'Lever three now,' said The Wizard.

Amy came through.

'Right,' said The Wizard, sitting down and gesturing for The Doctor to pass her a biscuit. 'Now we wait.'

'I can't believe this,' said The Doctor, sitting down next to her. He sighed unhappily now that Amy and Rory were pre-occupied.

'Things happen,' said The Wizard.

'This was…' he threw his hands into the air and dejectedly grabbed a biscuit.

'At least we can do something about it this time,' she said.

The Doctor's floppy hair blew as he flicked his head to watch her. 'Jack?'

'Jack, Donna, Gallifrey, Martha, River, Martha _again_ that time at Torchwood…'

'Yeah,' he said quietly.

They sat in silence side by side for a few minutes.

They watched as the two Amys interacted.

'Okay this is weird.'

'Okay this is weird.'

'Right, just stop doing that.'

'Right, just stop doing that.'

The Doctor and The Wizard laughed as the Amys could only speak in unison.

'How about,' said Rory, 'Amy One speaks first?'

'Which one's Amy one?'

'Which one's Amy one?'

'I am.'

'I am.'

'No, I am.'

'No, I am.'

The Timelords laughed.

'Rory!'

'Rory!'

'Rory, just stop doing that!'

'Rory, just stop doing that!'

The glasses began to spark.

'Rory,' said The Doctor, 'ooh, Rory, take the glasses off or you'll get temporal feedback.'

Rory threw them off and as they hit the ground the console exploded in a violent white shower of sparks.

'Argh!' The two jumped.

'Whoa!'

'Calm down, dear. Rory!' called The Doctor, 'Amys! We've created a _massive_ paradox and the Tardis hates it she's self-phasing, trying to leave.'

The two had reached the console and were carefully and tactfully pulling levers.

A spark between them made them recoil and The Doctor sheepishly pat the space it had come from. 'What's the nasty Amy done to you now?'

'Nasty, nasty, Amy,' agreed The Wizard, ducking under another spark.

'Just calm down, dear.'

The Tardis shook slightly as The Wizard managed to pull two levers a metre and a half apart up and down again. She calmed down and The Doctor continued to prance around the console like he was walking on cracked eggshells.

'Rory, eight minutes!' yelled The Wizard, 'you're on your own now. Good luck!'

The glasses sparked once more and the screen cut out. The two sat down again for five minutes.

'Where are they,' muttered The Wizard, standing up and turning on the scanners.

Neither had mentioned of what was to come. They eyed the small screen above the console.

'They're here,' said The Wizard and they ran to the doors, parting the blue doors to the white outside. Fighting could be heard nearby and The Wizard shifted uneasily.

Amy, Amy and Rory appeared running from handbots. As they watched their Amy was touched on the neck by one, making all that saw scream either "Amy!" or "No!"

Rory smashed the fake Mona Lisa over the handbot's head and picked up the young Amy and ran into the Tardis. The Doctor and The Wizard ran after him as he set her on the floor. The Wizard scanned her with her sonic.

'Anaesthetic. She'll go a little... bright blue around the eyes for a few hours but apart from that she'll be fine.'

The Doctor had run back to the doors. The Wizard didn't turn her head when she heard him say 'I'm sorry,' and the click of the doors.

'What are you doing?' asked Rory, jumping up.

'We lied to her, Rory. There can never be two Amys in the Tardis. The paradox is too massive.'

The Wizard still said nothing.

'You can't leave her. She'll die.'

'Doctor, let me in!' yelled the older Amy outside.

'No, she'll never have existed. When we save our Amy, this future won't have happened.'

'But she happened. She's there.'

'I trusted you!'

'No, she's not real.'

'She is real! Let her in.'

'Look, we take this Amy, we leave ours. Only one Amy in the Tardis. Which one do you want?'

The Doctor, still being watched by The distant Wizard put Rory's hand on the lock of the doors.

'It's your choice.'

'This isn't fair. You're turning me into you.'

The Wizard hit him on the back of the head.

'Ow! Wizard!'

Her eyes were filled with raging tears and she was glaring defensively at Rory, stepping in front of The Doctor, who was clearly in as much despair as the rest of them. 'Don't ever say that about The Doctor.'

Rory's eyes widened a little as they said his unspoken apology.

'Your choice is obvious.'

'What?! How can you say that?'

'Your wife spent 36 years in exile while the one right here didn't go through that hell. Do you really want to have a wife that went through all that when you would have a wife that only knew love?'

Rory looked down.

Amy kept calling. 'Doctor? Doctor! Doctor? Doctor?'

'Your choice should be simple, Rory. Be grateful and don't turn it into something that's not.'

'This- don't you care?'

'I care, Rory. I care for how Amy loves and what she has to live through.'

Rory sighed and nodded at her.

Amy put a hand on the glass of the Tardis. 'The look on your face when you carried her. Me. Her.'

The Wizard stepped back to beside The Doctor, whose eyes showed his gratitude. She smiled at him.

'When you carried her away. You used to look at me like that. I'd forgotten how much you loved me. I'd forgotten how much I loved being her. Amy Pond, in the Tardis, with Rory Williams.'

The two Timelords smiled.

'I'm sorry, I can't do this,' Rory said, looking back at them with tears running from his eyes. He lifted the latch.

'If you love me, don't let me in. Open that door, I will, I'll come in. I don't want to die. I won't bow out bravely. I'll be kicking and screaming, fighting. To the end.'

'Amy. Amy, I love you.'

'I love you, too. Don't let me in. Tell Amy, your Amy, I'm giving her the days. The days with you. The days to come.'

'I'm so, so sorry.'

'The days I can't have. Take them, please, I'm giving you my days.'

The Wizard looked down, thinking.

'I'm so, so sorry.'

As they heard Amy walk away from the doors, The Wizard ran to them, shoved Rory out of the way and pointed her sonic at the controls. She darted out of the doors and flicked on her sonic, clicking her fingers and locking the doors behind her.

'WIZARD!' yelled The Doctor, as the Tardis dematerialised.

'What are you doing?' asked Amy.

The Wizard held out her hand to Amy, who uncertainly took it.

She laughed nervously when she held The Wizard's hand for the first time in years.

'I saw some of my technique when you used that sword,' said The Wizard.

'I based it off yours,' Amy replied with a grin. 'You taught me a lot just by being there.' Amy began to cry again. 'The Chen Seven. I don't want you to die!'

'I won't, you know that.'

'But-,'

'Amy. Worry about yourself.'

She nodded. 'Interface? Show me Earth. Show me home.'

A projection of Earth came from the ceiling and Amy watched it, before suddenly running into The Wizard's arms.

'You won't feel this, these are medical needles. You'll just close your eyes.'

'Wizard I'm scared, what happens when you die?'

'Nothing hurts,' The Wizard promised, hugging her.

'We can't get out of here?'

'You'll fade away soon.'

'Why are you here?'

'Oh Amy,' said The Wizard, as the handbots circled them, 'I'm here because I would never leave you, Amy Pond, to die alone.'

Amy smiled, sobbed slightly and The Wizard rubbed her back.

'Do not be alarmed. This is a kindness.'

'Thank you for being here, Wizard,' said Amy.

'Always.'

'Do not be alarmed, this is a kindness.'

The handbots shot needles and Amy fell, holding The Wizard's hand, who lowered her to the ground.

Amy smiled at The Wizard as she closed her eyes. The Wizard smiled back, squeezing her hand, as she felt a needle hit her neck. She fell back and laid side by side with Amy.

'I HATE YOU!' yelled The panicked Doctor.

'Is that any way to speak to someone who just died?' grumbled The Wizard, blinking her eyes open on the Tardis floor. 'Has Amy got blue around her eyes?'

'Yeah,' he laughed, and pulled Amy into The Wizard's view. She was hiding her eyes.

The Wizard laughed and Amy slowly removed her hands from her face, lifting her head to look at The Wizard, who hadn't bothered to move.

'You're alright,' breathed Amy happily, dropping to her knees to The Wizard's side.

'Of course I am, Amy, don't worry.'


End file.
